Hah, this chapter. Oh this chapter. I think I threw out any attempts to keep people in character for favor of other things. So at the very least you should get a laugh.

You asked for it Nimblnymph, and now you've got it. -dies- I can't believe I wrote this. XD You better like it, girl.

The Fifth: Nettlesome Night Prattle.

"Oh, why won't he just stay in this room with little ol' me? It's not fair, I tell you."

For the first time in Gat's life, he wanted to deck Hazel.

"Nothin' against yer' company Gat, but sometimes I just want more pleasant things ta' look at. I mean, that there Mr. Sanzo is a real sight for sore eyes. And his voice sounds heavenly to boot! A perfect combination. Though, he is just like you in trying to get him to speak. Like pulling teeth! But at least his grunts have a little something extra to 'um. Might pleasant to the ears if you ask me..."

Maybe Gat could get away with hitting him in the back of the neck and claiming a shelf fell on him later when he woke up. Or he could say the man passed out from drinking and hit his head. Gat wondered how hard he'd have to hit the man to make him forget he was hit in the first place. Or forget he ever met 'Mr. Sanzo' in the first place.

"Ah, I wish I had met Mr. Sanzo earlier on this journey. He's such a nice companion- even when he's scowlin' something fierce he's adorable. A might handsome fella' I could consider my soulmate if I put my mind to it. Don't you think we go well together?"

Gat nodded when Hazel addressed him. The man was partially undressed with his nightshirt hanging off his shoulder and ranting full force about the wonders of the might Mr. Sanzo. Gat had thought the man was bad before, but now that it was just him, Hazel and the monk with no other distractions – Hazel had made it his life's goal to court the monk. Hazel fluffed his slightly-damp hair from the collar of his night shirt and Gat wondered if he could shut the man up with a kiss and still live.

"And his hair! Such a brilliant blonde. I didn't even think Chinese folk had blonde hair, I figured they were like your folk Gat with all those browns and blacks. But 'is so exotic. I wonder if its as soft as it looks. Think it'd be worth it to get shot for a chance to run my hands through it?"

No. Gat thought viciously. Hazel merely giggled. The larger man sighed inwardly and pondered if Hazel would forgive him if he just killed the blonde to end this senseless adoration. Because he clearly couldn't just put Hazel out of his misery.

"But more than his hair, his eyes Gat. His eyes. Violet, it's such a devilish color but they're very human eyes. Not some dull color like hazel or yellow-"

Gat twitched.

"But violet. And I thought my blue eyes were rare. A 'Violet-Eyed Angel.' Doesn't that have a nice ring?"

Gat nodded again obediently. Why was he in love with this man again?

"Shame there's nothing to come from it."

Gat looked over through his peripheral when Hazel collapsed down on the bed with a slightly more morose tone. After an hour of energetic musings and praises for his favorite cranky priest, this was a change of pace. As jealous as he was, Gat wasn't sure if he didn't prefer that affection for another man to this defeated air.

"After all, he don't care for me much, now does he?"

Gat watched Hazel caress his own glove-less fingers on those pale lips in a mock kiss. Gat swallowed deeply as Hazel leant his head back to lean on the wall. Those blue eyes were half-lidded as Hazel started to imagine things he couldn't have.

Sanzo was an idiot. A god-damned, fool of a man that couldn't appreciate the blessings given to him if he tried. Screw the merciful goddess, he had an Angel lusting for him and he ignored him. Gat believed it had to be some sort of blasphemy. Hazel rolled his eyes to the side to look at Gat with a small, forced smile. Definitely had to be blasphemy.

"He thinks I'm annoying and cruel. A hindrance in his way, if you will. Just something to pop a cap inta.' And not the way I want either, mind 'ya."

Hazel snorted and started to scowl. It seems his good mood was heading downhill very quickly. Gat wondered what he could do to fix things. Though, he knew it was probably best just to stay quiet and let the storm blow over. Gat just wished he could smother his own anger that was slowly creeping up. First Sanzo doesn't appreciate what he's got, and now he puts Hazel into a bad mood. How did that man cause such trouble without even being here?

"Yer fingers are twitchin' Gat."

Gat's eyes widened as Hazel looked at him more directly.

"If I did'na know better, I'd think you were jealous."

The large body guard wondered if there was a way to distract Hazel from his train of thought. Maybe if he bust down the wall Hazel would see the blonde man in the room next door and be instantly so taken with him he would forget that Gat even existed. The larger man swallowed when Hazel sat up.

"You've been awfully quiet. I know that's normal for ya' in public but ya' usually talk with me when we're alone."

Gat watched Hazel pull his legs up on the bed.

"Is it because I've been talkin' about Mr. Sanzo?"

Hazel put a hand to his own chest and Gat just knew the man was watching for his every twitch. It was no secret Hazel knew about Gat's feelings. How could the man not? Hazel started to draw little circles on his chest and hum. The man was planning to take his bad mood out on his faithful body guard. How wonderful. "Haz-"

"Shush Gat. You had your chance to talk and you lost it."

Gat shut up. Hazel started to lick his lips and move that same hand down his chest in a sensual manner that once again made Gat want to clock Hazel unconscious.

"You think about me, don't you Gat. The same way I think 'bout Mr. Sanzo."

Guilty. But Hazel didn't have to feel the need to point that out while his hand was moving down towards his waist...Gat was sure his brain was shutting down for self preservation.

"Unfair ain't it? Likin' someone something so fierce and they don't like ya' back."

Gat didn't think it was possibly for his eyes to get any wider. Hazel certainly wasn't going to do what he thought he was. Heaven help Gat if Hazel's hand went under...and there it went. Right under the fabric where Gat's large hands wanted so desperately to follow. Gat swallowed and wondered if he too could...to hell with it. Gat's hand started towards his belt buckle to undo the stupid clasp-

"Put yer hands down, Gat."

Hazel smirked at him and Gat swallowed, hands paused over the belt buckle. Hazel was doing that 'don't argue with me or I'll get pissy' voice. Gat wondered how long it would take to rebuild his stoic character if he let out a desperate whine. It was starting to hurt gosh darn it!

"I already told 'ya it's unfair. Put yer' hands on the chair. You can watch but nod'a touch."

Heavens Hazel was gorgeous. That cruel smirk on his lips, those playful teasing eyes, the drops of water still lingering in his hair from the shower he'd had earlier, the pale flesh that was now oh so visible as he lifted his shirt and moved his knee up into the air. That damn teasing demon of an angel was the most beautiful thing Gat had ever seen. Hazel moaned and Gat forgot he was ever mad or jealous in the first place. Gat gripped the chair with all his might and could hear the wood cracking. It was going to be a long, long night.

Hazel Grosse was a cruel man when he was in love.

Genjyo Sanzo was currently figuring out in his head the odds of shooting Hazel Grosse before the meat-head Gat shot him or got in the way of the bullet.

That man needed to die.

The walls in this hotel were paper thin. Sanzo had put up with the man's constant chatter the hour before using every bit of patience he had learned by living with Gojyo and Goku. It wasn't much, but it was enough to keep him from shooting through the wall.

Then he started to hear bits and pieces of what the man was saying. Out of curiosity, Sanzo leant his ear next to the wall to hear more clearly. A shiver had gone down his spine when he realized Hazel's choice of topic. He was never going to be able to look at the man the same way again in the morning. Sanzo was truly disturbed.

Thankfully, after a bit of time had passed and Sanzo had smoked through two packets of cigarettes to clear his mind: there was silence.

Sanzo then settled under the blankets perfectly read to go to bed. Though, there was now a slight humming noise that was prickling at his ears. He thought nothing of it at the time, and Sanzo merely turned over to face the wall and curl under the blankets. He'd kill Hazel in the morning.

Or so he thought.

And now, fifteen minutes later, Sanzo's eyes were blood shot open when he realized that small humming was moaning. That was now joined with a slight thumping noise. Sanzo wasn't sure he wanted to know what that second noise was considering that giant Gat was also in the room with that blue-eyed freak.

Hazel Grosse was jacking off.


And with that declaration loud enough to be heard crystal clear through the wall, said priest was on his feet and out of his bedroom door, eyes red and gun blazing. He was going to shoot the man in the head and be done with his problems. Screw finding that jerk Ukkoku! He'd get his information somewhere else! Sanzo kicked open the door and went in yelling.

"Hazel you-!"

Sanzo shut up instantly. Hazel was panting on the bed in the lull of ecstasy, but that's not what stopped Sanzo cold. It was the chilling aura of the body guard...who was fully dressed and had clearly not taken part in Hazel's little indulgence. If there was a definition of murderous rage, that was it.

"Uh, I'll just be leaving now."

Sanzo slammed the door shut behind him and headed for the kitchen. There was no chance he was getting any more sleep tonight. Or ever again.

"How 'bout that. Mr. Sanzo heard little ol' me." Gat grit his teeth and his eye twitched. The larger man dug his heel into the ground trying to will away his own arousal. The jealousy was falling off him in waves. "He looked all put out, didn't he?"

Hazel laughed weakly as he stretched his legs out on the bed and put the back of his hand on his forehead. Gat was looking absolutely miserable and it was possible that Hazel felt just a little guilty. Now that his mind was clear of all that stress, he could think clearly. It probably was a little mean. Hazel should make it up to the larger man. "Gat."

Hazel watched as the other man slowly turned his head, clearly trying very hard to control himself. Hazel pat the bed. "Come 'ere."

Gat's tense face was quickly replaced with a look of surprise. "Come 'ere." Hazel smirked. "Truth of the matter, doin' it yer'self is never good enough, now is it? Aren't you gonna' help me with my problem?"

Gat had never moved so fast in his life.