I never meant this fic to have a second chapter, but the plot bunny of current events bit me and I couldn't resist! It's a kind of madness!
Oh, How the Pretty Have Fallen
by "The Enduring Man-Child"
All standard disclaimers apply.
Brittina had never felt happier, more vindicated. She knew this day would come eventually, but never in her wildest dreams had she thought it would come so soon. She'd had little reason to smile during her months here at the Institution for Soiled and Fallen Former Child Stars of the Mouse Ears Channel, but right now her smile was so huge that anyone observing her might be forgiven for fearing that the top of her head might drop off any minute as the ends of her lips met somewhere on the back of her neck.
It was recreation time (carefully supervised in a special room, of course), and there, in the corner, looking more miserable than any human being had a right to, was none other than America's sweetheart—Fiona Arizona! The poor thing was sitting as close to the corner as she could get with her face turned towards it, as if she were trying to evaporate from the real world and be soaked up by the wall. Her lowered head and covered ears seemed to indicate that she was trying to shut out the sights and sounds around her and seal herself up in a safe little world populated by no one but herself.
Oh, this was delicious!
Brittina told herself she was not going to pounce all at once. Oh no, she was going to savor this moment! But despite her intentions her emotions simply would not let her take it slow. She was starved for vindication, for satisfaction, for schadenfreude—for sweet, sweet vengeance!
Strolling up to the unfortunate new "client" of the institution, she first thought of getting her attention by tapping her on the back. But no...that wouldn't do. Best to let everyone in the room know who this was!
"Why, do my eyes deceive me or is it my good friend Fiona Arizona?" she asked in a voice thick with a syrupy sweetness so phony that one would have to be a truly dim bulb in order to miss it.
"Bri—Brittina? Oh, I'm so glad to see you!"
Yep—a dim bulb.
"Are you now?" The smile was still in place but it was more strained. This is not how she meant the convo to begin. She wanted to take her rival to Humiliation Nation, not Best Friends-Ville.
"Oh yes, and it's so nice to see a friendly face! Listen—you've got to tell them that this is all a big mistake!"
"Why Fiona darling, whatever are you talking about?" The smile became less strained as Brittina felt the thrill a big cat knows just before it seizes its helpless prey.
"I don't understand how this could happen to me," Fiona explained, "it was just a publicity photo shoot with Daddy; no big, right?"
"Oh...was it, now?" The sheer glee in Brittina's eyes told Fiona that this was not the sympathetic encounter she had thought it was at first.
"You—you're glad I'm in here now, aren't you? I see it all now! You're jealous!"
"Me? Jealous? Of you? Brittina fairly snorted, "why should I be jealous of a little runt who's destroyed her reputation before she even hits puberty? Oh yes, that was a nice little ride you had there, but it's all over now!"
"No it isn't! I have a show...it's the most popular show in the country—!"
"Not any more, sweetcakes," Brittina told her with the greatest satisfaction as she proceeded to file her nails in a most infuriatingly disinterested manner. "You were America's sweetheart, but that was yesterday; today you're in here with the rest of us troubled youth, and tomorrow it's the seamy underbelly of human society, so get ready for the ride, sister!"
"That ain't so!" she said, her accent becoming more acute as she became more distraught, "I'm a good girl! I've always been a good girl!"
Brittina stopped filing her nails long enough to give her a look of pure unadulterated disgust.
"The dude's your dad, girl! What ever got into your head to do such a thing?"
"Daddy didn't think there was anything wrong with it."
"Your daddy didn't think there was anything wrong with a mullet," Brittina responded cruelly, "not to mention the fact that one-hit-wonders are liable to lose their good judgment when they get a second crack at fame."
Fiona once again turned to the corner, wedging herself in as tightly as she could, as though trying to walk through the walls to freedom.
"And come to think of it, Arrogance Beautiful isn't even aimed at the demographic that watches your program. Talk about uncalled-for!"
Fiona Arizona, America's sweetheart, was crying.
"There's no use in blubbering," Brittina told her, "what's done is done."
"It was just a harmless little hand of gin rummy," she said weakly, "we weren't even playing for money."
"Ah yes, that's always how it starts, isn't it?" her victorious tormentress crowed, "and now here you are being 'exposed' as the Antichrist by the Weekly Wonder! No way the Mouse Ears Channel can keep your show on now."
"My life is over," Fiona sobbed.
"Well...I wouldn't say that," Brittina smirked, "I'm sure every hormone-crazed pre-pubescent boy out there would give his eye teeth for just one hand of stakeless gin rummy with the latest formerly-pure-angel-turned-vixen. I can teach you all the irresistible sirenic gazes. I have lots of free time."
Fiona simply wailed at that. Brittina thought she would let her, but found herself becoming incensed by her adversary's unrealistic opinion of herself.
"Cut it out, little Miss Sunshine!" Brittina hissed at her as she turned her around and forced her to look her in the face, "snap out of it already! You're in The Tank now, and there's no room for pity in here!"
"My life's a nightmare!" Fiona said softly as she resumed weeping.
Brittina looked around carefully to make sure none of the uniformed orderlies were watching (that last little outburst had gotten them some unwanted attention). When all eyes were elsewhere she smiled a wicked smile and reached into her robe and pulled out something—a long, slim piece of yellow paper wrapped tightly around something.
Fiona could guess what the contents were, but she didn't want to. It was too horrible to contemplate.
"Is that—sniff!—what I think it—sniff!—is?"
"Yeah...the good stuff. Very hard to come by in here. Take it; it's on me."
"I—I can't!" she insisted, "It goes against every value I was raised with!"
"You mean like gin rummy with Daddy? Too late, crumbcake. Here. Take it. You know you want to!" She swung the forbidden object back and forth, forcing Fiona's eyes to follow it.
At last she could bear it no more. She seized the unmentionable thing from her tormentress' hand. She looked about again to make sure no one was watching.
"I wish I had died before this moment!" she declared in the voice of a lost soul.
She unwrapped the stick of Juicy Fruit and popped it in her mouth.
The jaws of heck swung open wide.
Brittina grinned like a predatory demon.
Really The End (I hope!)