Babyfied

Ok, ok, ok, I had another idea stirring in my headwhile I was at work, and I was so excited I couldn't help it. Hopefully this will be as funny to you as it was to me.

Full Summary- Sasuke and Sakura have to baby-sit, but one problem: it's a two year old Naruto and Kakashi… well… he's a perverted five year old. Nothing will be the same for Team 7 again.

This is rated T for Kakashi's perverted-ness.

-s-

Ch 1: Mission: Baby-sit Naruto and Kakashi

"Gwandma!" Tsunade blinked, not even believing what was going on or who was in front of her.

Her gaze held confusion as she looked up from the child in Sakura's arms to her pink haired student and the stoic boy also known as the traitor of Konoha, Sasuke Uchiha. His expression was that of annoyance and his lower lip stuck out just a little bit as if he were moping about the situation, he was currently glaring at a wall. "Sakura, can you explain that again?" the Hokage managed to finish before she had a hiccup. Her face was a little red, Sasuke and Sakura could tell she was slightly drunk. She also smelled of booze.

"Tsunade-sensei," Sakura growled impatiently. "I've already told you three times how this happened! This is serious!"

The woman burped and covered her mouth with her hand, "Excuse me." Then she looked back at her student who was sixteen. "I'm sorry I wasn't really listening." She confessed which earned a glare from the kunoichi.

"You and your stupid sake. Shizune!" Sakura's tone made the three males jump, though Sasuke's wasn't really noticeable.

The other apprentice of Tsunade burst through the door, panting. "Yes, Sakura? What is it?" she stopped when she looked over at the drunk Tsunade. "Oh no." she sighed and rushed over to her, grabbing the sake bottles from the Hokages desk. "Lady Tsunade you aren't supposed to get drunk, you have a very important meeting in a few hours." The dark haired woman looked at Sasuke, who was still as impatient, and Sakura was annoyed.

"How long have you two been here?"

"About an hour." Sakura answered. Shizune's eyes traveled to the two young children accompanying the two.

"Who are they? They look like Naruto and Kakashi…"

"That's because they are Naruto and Kakashi," Sasuke spoke for the first time. His tone told you he was irritated. "We've been her for an hour explaining to a drunken Hokage that Naruto and Kakashi have somehow," he glared at Sakura while saying this, "have been turned into toddlers."

"How'd this happen?" the fellow medic asked.

Sasuke and Sakura grunted, "Here we go again!"

"Fine, hopefully you'll be the one to listen better than Tsunade. We were at my apartment having lunch…" Sakura trailed, Sasuke just felt like beating his head against a wall as he had already heard the same tale for the fourth time within an hour.

"This is wonderful Sakura!" Naruto shouted, stuffing his face full of ramen. "I love your home cooking!"

Sakura chuckled, "Thanks Naruto for the compliment. I'm glad you like it." She looked at her Icha Icha Paradise loving sensei and her first dark haired Uchiha crush. "How do you guys like your meal?" she asked curious to hear what they had to say. Sakura had made everyone their own favorite meal. Naruto's was ramen, of course, Kakashi's was anything with rice, and Sasuke's was anything with tomatoes.

"It's delicious, Sakura." Kakashi said, face hidden behind his perverted book.

"Hn," Sasuke took another bite. He wouldn't admit that Sakura had a talent for cooking, to her or anyone else, especially himself.

"Kakashi you haven't even ate any." Sakura complained.

"I have to, see?" he held out the rice bowl for her and the others to see that his bowl of rice was indeed empty – face still buried in his precious book.

"How'd you do that?" Naruto asked, noodles stringing from his mouth as he slurped them up.

"Skill…"

"What skill?" Kakashi had just placed the bowl down before he hit the loudmouth on the head.

"Hey!" he swallowed, glaring at his sliver haired sensei. "What was that for?"

"Calm down Naruto." The copy-nin shushed him, "I'm trying to read." The three teens sighed in defeat. After all this time they still haven't seen Kakashi's real face. "What's with all the long faces?" the man actually looked over his book to see their forlorn faces.

"Nothing, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto and Sakura shouted.

"Hey Sakura?" she looked over to see Naruto holding out his cup to her. "Do you have anymore tea?"

Her eyes narrowed for a moment, before her genuine smile spread across her cheerful face. "Yeah." She stood up and looked at the other two males in her home. "Do you two want some more tea?"

"Yes please, Sakura." The oldest replied, not even giving her a glance.

'I'll burn that book.' She smirked before her gaze turned to Sasuke who just had his cup held out to her, finished with his lunch. Sakura grabbed his cup and the cups that belonged to the others and hers. "I'll be right back," And disappeared into her small kitchen.

Sasuke shifted his eyes to watch her leave the room before he heard a snicker to his left. Naruto was there with a perverted grin. "Checking her out, eh, Sasuke?" he chuckled, not even watching his best friend as Sasuke lifted his left hand and hit him upside the head, much like the scarecrow had done a few minutes prior. "Hey, Sasuke! What was that for?"

"Idiot," Sasuke answered, leaning back on the couch he was on. He was observing Sakura's apartment now since he hadn't before. It was small, nice for one, maybe two adults. All he had seen of it was the living room and maybe the kitchen. The living room was barely big enough for four people, but it was nice for one person, who was Sakura. Soft peach walls and the couch and loveseat were just a little darker shade of the walls. There were a few windows which gave her a nice view of Konoha with light pink curtains draping over them. The floor was wood and a maroon rug was placed in the center of the room between the medium sized TV and the couches. A coffee table was in front of each couch and a side table between them as they were shaped as a V with a lamp on it.

"Whatever Sasuke, I know you were checking her out." Naruto teased as Sasuke ignored him for the time being. "You should just talk to her already. Everyone knows you're all gloom and doom since you came back from Sound. Hinata and I are happy to-" he was again rubbing his head from the third bump he had received for the day. Naruto looked up only to see Sakura walk out with four cups in hand, smiling as she always did.

She placed each cup in front of their respected person. "Are you all finished eating?" Three nods came her way as she collected the dirty dishes and again disappeared into the kitchen. Naruto grinned again.

"So Sasuke, do you want me to give you some pointers?"

"Hn." The Uchiha wasn't even listening. What else is new?

"I'll take that as a yes…" the Kyuubi vessel beamed as he lifted his tea to his lips. "Hey Kakashi-sensei… do you have any pointers for Sasuke here?…Kakashi-sensei?"

"What?" a young voice said, both Naruto and Sasuke turned to look at the spot where Kakashi was sitting only to find a small boy with silver hair looking up at them.

"Uh… Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asked, confused. The same expression on Sasuke's face as well as he looked at the man he had called sensei.

"What did you do…?" Sasuke looked at Naruto a moment later to see that he was younger than he was. "Naruto?" he blinked. "Sakura!" he called.

Sakura came running from her kitchen, startled by the urgency in his voice. "What is it? What's-" she stopped when she followed Sasuke's gaze.

"…Naruto…?…Kakashi…?" she took slow steps forward. "What happened to them, Sasuke?" she didn't take her eyes off of them.

Sasuke was just as speechless as she was, until he thought of something to say. "What did you put in this tea?" he lifted his tea to inspect it, curiously.

"All I did was make it, the same we drank from before." She snapped her head in his direction. "You don't think I would have done this, do you?" she was growing furious with such an accusation against her.

"There's some powder in this tea." Sasuke rubbed his finger around the cup before showing her the small amount of white powder he had collected. "Someone, most likely you put the powder in." he said indifferently.

"Listen, Sasuke-" she stopped when she heard a cry and looked over to see a crying two year old Naruto.

"Don't shout, I don't wike it when peopwe shout." He was rubbing his eyes with his left sleeve. Naruto's face was innocent.

Sakura looked back at Sasuke. "We need to go to see Tsunade about this… situation. Bring one of the cups with you and maybe she can do an analysis on what kind of powder it is and where it comes from." Sasuke nodded looking back at the miniature Kakashi. "Grab him."

"I'm not going to grab him." Sasuke crossed his arms. "He has legs, he can walk himself." Sakura by now had the still crying Naruto is her arms.

"I'm not going." Kakashi simply answered.

Sasuke and Sakura looked at the little boy. "You are too." Sasuke glared.

"Are not…"

"You are too, Kakashi. Tsunade will know what to do. Besides, your three years old."

"I'm five thank you very much." The boy answered defiantly. Sasuke continued to glare and glared at Sakura as he heard her snicker and the comment, a smile was on her face.

"Grab him." She smirked.

"I'm not going to carry him." Sasuke replied, trying to keep himself calm.

"C'mon Kakashi." Sakura tried, more in a mother type of way.

"Nope." The small copy-nin said.

"Kakashi!" Sasuke's voice dripped with venom.

The boy looked at the impatient Uchiha and sighed after seeing his expression. "…Fine…" he followed Sakura, who still held Naruto and was followed by an annoyed Sasuke Uchiha, tea in his hands. Off to the Hokage tower.

"…And that's what happened." Sakura concluded. Shizune was staring; she really didn't know what to think.

"This powder, you have it with you?"

"Sasuke has the cup." Sasuke handed Shizune the cup of tea, still annoyed.

"I'll have this analyzed and tell you once the results come in." the medic promised.

"What about them?" Sasuke asked, referring to his sensei and best friend.

"You two will be watching them." All three pairs of eyes turned toward Tsunade.

"Tsunade…?" both medics asked.

"You heard me…" the woman glared.

"You're not drunk?" Sakura inquired.

"I sobered up just before you started your story." Tsunade clasped her hands in front of her, her amber eyes looking at the two 'children' before her. "I never thought Kakashi or Naruto would become so immature, though Naruto hasn't changed much."

"Excuse me?" the young Kakashi interrupted.

"I don't need a little three year old defying me."

"I'm five…" his voice was getting angry.

"I never thought you would stoop so low, Kakashi…"

"You're a scary woman and you should really get some of that chest of yours removed." Sasuke, Sakura and Shizune looked at the small scarecrow, sweat drops forming on their heads.

'Kakashi's got a death wish.' Shizune thought.

'Kakashi-sensei's a little pervert.'

'Hn. This should be amusing if Kakashi lives through this.' Sasuke smirked at the thought.

The Fifth Hokage glared at the boy. However, before she could retort to this boy, "Gwandma!" All eyes then turned to Naruto, who was now grinning happily. Tsunade's eye twitched.

"You little brat!"

"Lady Tsunade," Sakura stopped her. "What do you mean Sasuke and I are to be watching them?"

"Exactly what I said. You and Sasuke will be assigned to baby-sit two year old Naruto and three-"

"Five!"

"Five year old Kakashi. Don't forget you two, the Akatsuki are still after Naruto. And now he can't defend himself so he needs someone to do so for him. So this is your new assignment."

"Babysitting?" both Sasuke and Sakura asked.

"Yes," the blonde medic sighed. "Sasuke you are staying with Sakura."

"Tsunade…" Sakura started. "You can't be serious. I had plans."

"Cancel or take them with you. Dismissed."

"Bu-"

"Dismissed."

Sakura lowered her head as she prepared to leave. "Fine. C'mon Sasuke." She still had Naruto in her arms. The door shut and Shizune looked at her teacher.

"You didn't have anything to do with this, did you Lady Tsunade?"

"Of course not, now where's my sake?"

-s-

After they exited the Hokage tower, Sakura looked at the dark haired teen. "Should we get to my apartment?"

"You can take them." Sasuke had his hands shoved in his pockets as he walked away.

"Hey, Sasuke, you can't seriously leave me alone."

"Hn," the boy left.

"Sas-" she jumped when she felt something touch her rear. Sakura turned to see Kakashi, grinning under his mask. "Kakashi." She looked at him sternly. "C'mon." the girl led the way to her apartment.

-s-

Ok, so here's the beginning and I have some ideas for the next chapters. This one is a little short and I think the others will be longer. So please review. I would appreciate it and I am also taking suggestions for this story.