Title: This Is Real

Pairing: Shouldn't be difficult to guess.

Rating: Except for the word sex and a profanity, everything is suggested, so you won't understand what's going on if you are pure and the story should be only T. It is MA nonetheless because I pretty much hate the moderators at ffnet. Yes I read the rules and I am aware that there is a rule saying that all stories should be adequately rated, no exception. However, as I personally saw many moderators abusing their powers by censuring when all the rules had been respected, especially the rating (who is supposed to control the ones who control here, uh?) and as I understand it the rule is made to prevent underrating in order to protect the younger readers, then all my stories from then on will be over rated. You can thank them.

Disclaimer: Not mine, no money.

Spoilers: none really, but after the Soul Society arc. There is no timeline to the story so the action could have taken place before or after the beginning of Bleach.

Dedicated to: Faye.

This Is Real

Petals of roses, candlelit rooms, sweet words, satin covered beds… Making love slowly and romantically.

This isn't what real sex is about.

Real sex is rough. It is messy, dirty, it smells. It is more often ugly than beautiful. It is quick, because you only have those few stolen hours a month, in between heavy schedules. It doesn't leave you enough time to think, much less about the meaning of it if there ever was one, because it turns your brains upside down inside your head. Real sex is full of those vexing little imperfections that in the end don't matter, 'cause, that's what it is, imperfect.

Real sex is, for example, when you want to kiss his very hairy torso and you end up instead with a hair between your teeth. Real sex is when he grumbles a bit because, damn, that hurts!, and you want to punch his face so much, just to give him something realto grieve about. So you go down South, because, even if he can still speak – he never shuts up anyway – he isn't coherent, and that's somuch better for your libido. And your sanity. Real sex is when you understand right in the middle of it that you made a tactical error but you can't stop all the same, because the damn oaf has his big, big hands behind your head. But you wouldn't stop anyway, even if you could – he is completely at your mercy, for once in your relationship, and you like this role reversal, so you bear with it, through the unpleasantness of the rug burns on your knees and your difficulty to breathe. Though it has nothing to do with the fact that you would do just about anything for him, nor that you love him – that's a good one, you snort and he begs some more. Yours isn't a relationship based on feelings, it's a purely sexual one. And that's better this way, 'cause you always fuck up when you try to convey your feelings – you shy away from the thought of your dead father, your ex-wife and your faraway son by concentrating some more on making him scream.

But sometimes, sometimes, you just have to wonder if he didn't break the rule – he was never big on them in the first place – if he doesn't love you.

Because when you tell your lover that if he wants your mouth anywhere near any part of his hairy anatomy ever again, he has to shave everything– and yes, that means especially those hairs, you spat, with a mouthful of the indignities – and he complies without much whining, you have to wonder if that isn't what real love is.

Then again, it could be just 'cause the idea of a lifetime without real sex is one of the few things that truly scares him. The same goes for you.

For those still wondering who are the protagonists, let me recapitulate:

Hint 1) one of them is veeeery hairy.

Hint 2) both of them have very busy lives (in fact, they have the same job). Meaning they both have already a career and they are older than the average protagonist in Bleach. Hm, scratch that, Shinigami 'live' longer than human. Let's say they are the adult figures (insert choking laugh: they are supposed to be role models).

Hint 3) one of them has a very strenuous relationship with his son, and his father is dead (by the way, I add it here, there's no ex-wife in the manga, I created her for the purpose of the fic). Therefore, the grandfather of his son is dead (duh!).

Last, one of the characters only appears after the Soul Society arc, even though there are no real spoilers.

If you're still wondering, the answer was... too obvious.

Concrit is Love! (This is unbetaed, if anyone wants to help beta this...)