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Neville/Luna smut, so be warned dear readers.
Neville Longbottom, avert your eyes this instant!
His grandmother's voice was so clear in his head that Neville had to stifle a yelp and grabbed hold of the wall he had been hiding behind to stop himself toppling backwards.
His grandmother wasn't there of course; her mind might still be sharp as Godric's sword (and where was that? Had he really left it on the feast table like the world's most unwieldy butter knife?) but her body was fragile. Fighting was well beyond her, no matter how much she probably would have wished to have been in the midst of battle, fighting off Death Eaters. Nonetheless, the thought was powerful enough to make him slide back from where he was perched on the half ruined battlements of Hogwart's school.
A few dozen feet below him Ron and Hermione were.. rasp of jeans being tugged down and catching on rough stone, Soft whimpers and Ron's grunt of pleasure, and sorry mate I didn't mean to see, really I didn't… Courting. Letting out a breath that seemed to come from some place inside of him far deeper than merely his lungs, Neville slid down to the ground, barely noticing when the seat of his trousers were soaked with cold water. Sort of a cold shower, only just for my bum, he thought with far more amusement than the feeble joke warranted. His erection didn't dissipate; hot hard and throbbing it seemed almost alien to the rest of him. For a brief, wild moment Neville debated whether to peer over the battlements and ask Hermione for a spell. Hey Hermione, saw you shagging Ron and it turned me on so much that it looks like I've got my wand stuffed down my pants - got any advice? Yeah, that would go down well. Shifting slightly he removed his actual wand from his back pocket and rolled it between his thumb and forefinger. The smooth coolness of it, the power within it that he could control was reassuring. High above a couple of thestrals circled, to his left Hogwarts thrummed with a strange, desperate kind of giddy happiness and grief. Sat silent on the narrow ledge between the ruin of the fight and the celebration within, it took a few moments before Neville noticed Luna.
"Did you want to be on your own?" The words were curious but not embarrassed as any other witch or wizard would have been at interrupting someone who quite obviously did want to be alone thank you very much, and no wasn't that keen on company.
But this was Luna and telling her that would have been as pointless as telling her to go away. She'd just think he was under the influence of sprackle-whatsits and try and get him to the infirmary.
The infirmary where his favourite teacher was lying under a shroud next to his dead wife, alongside Colin, Fred and… Heat rushed into Neville's face, flushing his cheeks and pricking his eyes so that it was an effort to keep the tears at bay. All of a sudden it seemed as though he had swallowed an elephant ; every breath a struggle, his chest crushed by the sudden weight of loss and confusion.
Luna was beside him before he had much time to notice her move. Her cool hand slipped into his, her body fragile yet reassuring as she settled herself beside him. Far below them Ron grunted and Luna craned her head over the battlements to see what was happening before Neville could stop her.
"Oh." Her voice was mildly surprised. "That's not a very good idea."
"No, well…" Neville struggled to find the right words. Luna's father was several chocolate frog cards short of a full deck and Merlin only knew what his version of sex education must have consisted of. He himself had been educated by a couple of ancient WickedWitch magazines that the Weasley twins had smuggled into Hogwarts and the furtive mutterings of his friends, but Luna… Did girls even talk about sex?
Any questions regarding that topic were quickly answered when she turned back to him, her brow furrowed and eyes amused.
"If that's Hermione's first time then she's going to bleed, and that's not safe when there are thestrals about." Taking Neville's silence for confusion rather than crippling embarrassment, she blithely continued. "The room of requirement isn't far, I don't know why they didn't just use that. It'd be better than having a thestral try and take a bite out of you halfway through intercourse I'd imagine."
At a total loss as to how to even attempt to reply to that particular pearl of wisdom, Neville merely looked at Luna completely dumbstruck. Her fine hair blew across her face, white against the flush of her cheeks, and he watched her brush a lock of it away with a graceful flick of her fingers. Had she always been pretty or was this some sort of post traumatic stress thing? he wondered. I mean he'd always known that she was brave, and clever in her own slightly nutty way, but..
"Neville?" Her voice interrupted his thoughts, and he realised with no little embarrassment that he'd been staring at her. "You shouldn't leave your mouth open like that," she said kindly, "something might fly into it."
"Right." Right? Yeah, well done Neville. Smooth. Stop acting as though Snape has asked you to demonstrate your potion making skills in front of the entire Wizengamot. It's only Luna.
"You're quite aroused," she said serenely, as though remarking on the weather or a mildly amusing article in the Daily Prophet. Giving a curious look at the bulge in Neville's crotch, she met his eyes with no trace of embarrassment. "It's probably distracting you a bit."
Any trace of saliva in Neville's mouth seemed to evaporate as his cheeks burned with what surely must be nuclear reactor temperature heat.
"Er.." His voice came out as little more than a croak, and he quickly crossed his legs, angling his body away from her. "Sorry."
Beside him, Neville was aware of Luna getting up and stretching, but instead of walking off and oh please let's never speak of this again, she stepped over his legs and settled herself on his thighs. He had no choice about escaping then. She looked at him solemnly, huge blue eyes filled with…
Everything. Sadness, understanding, a strange underlying lonely compassion that had him reaching for the back of her head and pulling her lips to his. The kiss was tentative and awkward at first. Their teeth clashed for a moment and he drew back, her bottom lip soft, squishy and strange against his tongue. After a moment she shifted in his lap and it was better. The kiss stronger, deeper. Neville was aware of her hair tangled in his fingers and wondered if he could get his hand free without tearing any of it out. More insistent was the throbbing in his groin that had increased with indecent urgency as Luna rocked against him. When she reached down and burrowed into the folds of his jeans and fumbling with his zip, he panicked and broke off the kiss, his hand coming down to bat hers away from him, but she merely shook her head and looked at him with patient blue eyes.
"I told you, it's alright," she repeated. And then her hand closed around him and there was nothing but the feel of her small fingers stroking, Luna's breath hot on his neck as she dropped her head to his shoulder. He came quickly - the whole thing was so strange, overwhelming and oh god, so damn good, that there was no chance of trying to prolong the experience. Shaking, his vision still blurry, shooting stars flickering at the edge of his vision, Neville dropped his head back, barely noticing when his scalp hit the wall with an audible thump.
"Better?" Luna's weight shifted back, and he opened his eyes to see her watching him with something like pride. Pulling out her wand from where it had been hidden in her coat pocket she muttered a quick "Evanesco" and the sticky mess that was cooling on his stomach vanished. That done, she zipped his jeans back up and got up as though nothing strange had happened at all.
"Luna?" Neville's voice was croaky, but grabbing her hand he stopped her from walking away. "What…" imagination failed him, and he just looked at her blankly. "What was that?"
"Ejaculation," she said succinctly. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about. Quite understandable really; you very nearly died, you've had pretty girls all over you at the feast, and then you come out here and see Hermione half naked. Arousal is quite natural, I just gave you a hand, that's all."
Gave you a hand? Neville blinked and wondered whether Luna realised that she'd made an innuendo that made those muggle seaside postcards of big breasted women look subtle in comparison. From the steady look she gave him, he rather doubted it. Tugging her hand out of his, she gave him a half smile. The corners of her mouth turned up, but her eyes looked sad and lost for a moment, and Neville grabbed her hand back before she could move away.
"It wasn't Hermione," he said hesitantly, "It was at first, but then you were here and it was just you." Right, that wasn't going to win any romantic poetry awards. Luna didn't try and take her hand away though, and that gave him courage. "I liked it because it was you."
She looked at him steadily, dreamy eyes for once searching and slightly afraid. Watching her, Neville had the uncomfortable feeling that even with her clothes on she was naked before him. Stripped down - the girl beneath the daft notions, insane loyalty and ill advised radish based jewellery.
"We should get back to the feast," she said at last. "People will wonder where you are."
"Alright." Struggling to his feet, Neville was careful not to let go of her hand. "Let's go together ok?"
She shrugged as though she didn't mind either way, but her eyes brightened and she squeezed Neville's fingers back when he tightened his around her small hand. Glancing over the battlements Neville saw no trace of Ron or Hermione and smiled. Probably just as well, it'd be embarrassing enough looking either of them in the eyes when they next saw each other. Not that he could talk…
Impulsively Neville let go of Luna's hand and wrapped a hand around her shoulders instead. It was a gesture almost of ownership, but Luna just gave a small laugh and a smile that could have had several thousand different meanings. The roar of the crowd in the great hall grew louder as they approached the stairs; a cacophony of cheering and singing; drunken salutes to fallen comrades and a bright new future. Early days yet, Neville thought. Who knew what was yet to come? Glancing at Luna, he watched her expression soften and had the uncanny idea that she knew exactly what he was thinking, before they both entered the hallway, shutting the door behind them.
A/N Harry/Ginny coming up for the third and final chapter. Sorry it's taken so long to update this.