Appendix/Bibliography/Needless Rambling
In an All-New, Never-Before-Seen, Highly-Hyphenated Format!

Chapter One:

Cleon's Pizza – Cleon is the king of the starving realm of Tarsus in Pericles, remember? Gawd, do your homework. No, really. What the hell are you doing reading fanfiction? On that note… what the hell am I doing writing it…?

Chapter Two:

"Ma grandmère est flambée" – Eddie Izzard could kick your ass any day of the week. And his name is not Tracy.

Doctor Who – Such a fun show. And it's British. The best was the episode when the Doctor and Martha ended up in Depression-era New York, because it was a bunch of Brits doing rather poor American accents, whereas it's usually me wandering around doing a poor British accent. Glorious. No, actually, the best was the Shakespeare one. No room for argument. I geeked out like you wouldn't believe.

Chapter Three:

Chicken Pox – For all you young'uns out there, once upon a time, we had no chicken pox vaccine. And I got 'em when I was two or so, because my brother brought them back from preschool. I don't remember details, but I seem to recall that it was a thoroughly unpleasant experience. I wouldn't recommend it.

Cars Bars – All credit goes to the aforementioned brother for suggesting I manufacture such a thing with Photoshop, though I did inspire him by listening to the Cars almost nonstop over the summer. I believe I actually did the Cars Bar project during Her and Me, come to think of it. Small world. Or small life.

Perry Simons – I had paused in the sentence searching for a name, and then I had to leave my computer to dart into the shower before my brother stole it. (The shower, not the computer. He has his own. Which doesn't suck as much as mine, possibly because he didn't purchase his on eBay.) While showering, I remembered Simonides from Pericles, and then decided to shorten it to Simons, and then Perry just sounded right. LOOK, DO NOT CHALLENGE MY DURING-SHOWER THOUGHTS, OKAY?!

1812 Overture – Tchaikovsky. Sheesh. Didn't you read Devil's Advocate? …No? No one did? Because it was boring as hell? Oh, yeah, that's right… Silly me…

Chapter Four:

Jonas Schaeffer – Good story on this one. 'Jonas' jumped into my brain because of those smarmy Jonas Brothers, whom we saw on the ABC New Year's program with Miley Cyrus, Ryan Seacrest, and Carrie Underwood, who were all standing around being celebrities. I noted that the Jonas Brothers don't seem to have earned their supposed coolness. My brother replied, scathingly, "I love the Jonas Brothers! I want to be them!" To which I responded, "Well, I want to marry them! All of them! At the same time! In Utah!" And all was well. (If 'Schaeffer' sounds familiar, it may well be because you suffered through writing 'Schaeffer Paragraphs' in middle school like I did. Also, as I later realized, I had a supremely evil seventh grade history teacher whose name rhymes with "Schaeffer." Didn't even think of it at the time. Freud would be proud. And if said teacher has discovered himself here, I've got a newsflash for ya, bub: You're a bastard.) Only then Jonas decided to become the coolest guy… ever…, so that worked out all right.

Invading Russia – Oh, Napoleon. So easy to take potshots at, what with his being short, French, AND dead. Although depending on who you ask, he might've been like 5'7". Which is about six inches taller than me…

Chapter Nine:

"Hungry Like the Wolf" – Duran Duran, 1982 – Come on, what kind of eighties fan are you?!

Titanic – 1997 – I think it's safe to say that at least ninety-five percent of people reading this fic are female. Therefore, at least ninety-five percent of people reading this fic have worshiped Titanic to the point of shrines and cult activity, let alone just watched it. Except me; I definitely haven't seen any more than about ten minutes of it. Someday I'll get around to that. Er. Someday.

Fashion Consultants – I looked it up on Wikipedia to be smarter than my characters, all right?

Accountifiable – Coining new words is easy AND fun!

Riverdance – snort …No, I think it's awesome. That's not sarcastic. I had a friend who did Irish step-dancing, and it was intensely hardcore.

Chapter Ten:

"Good Morning" – Seen in Singin' in the Rain, 1952, which is an utterly fantabulousiriffic movie, though Wikipedia would have me know it appeared elsewhere first.

TARDIS – It's Doctor Who's time-traveling machine, of course! It stands for something that almost makes sense; Wikipedia it.

Chapter Eleven:

Miranda – From The Tempest, duh! What kind of utter and uncontrollable Shakespeare geek wouldn't know that?

Chapter Twelve:

Electra Complex – Don't make me explain. Wiki Freud. Vast chunks of pop culture will become suddenly clear.

'Differently abled' – Don't ask me; I saw it in a magazine. I think it was "Exceptional Parent." Which gives you an idea.

Staggered clocks – I don't have clocks set at slightly different times. Certainly not deliberately. Um. No. I'd have to be crazy to do that. Ha, ha, ha, such a crazy idea…

Chapter Thirteen:

Snogomaniacal – I thought it was cool.

"Run to the Hills" – Iron Maiden, 1982 – It's high on my list of rock-out songs, all the way. Clearly, 1982 was an extraordinary year for borrow-able music.

Chapter Fourteen:

A Marauder's Map of All of Britain – I always wondered why, if four sixteen-year-old boys could do it, Dumbledore didn't. Honestly. What the crap?

Narnia – When I was about seven and had the books read to me, I did not notice Christian symbolism of any sort. After rereading the first one before the movie came out, it was all a lot clearer. Then again, the idea of having a lion as the Christ figure seems, to me, to trivialize the whole concept. Come on, C.S. Lewis. Come on. (I will now cease editorializing. Or I will after I snidely add that he mostly just wanted to be Tolkien. Then again, don't we all?)

Charades – Don't even get me started. JUST DON'T DO IT.

The Three Stooges – are surprisingly funny.

Halloween – 1978 – I think I've actually seen this one. My brother had a horror movie phase when we were kids. It pretty much scarred me for life.

Chapter Fifteen:

Pachycephalosaurus – The abovementioned brother was also into dinosaurs when we were little.

Sisyphus – Greek dude? Boulder on a hill? Torment in Hades? Do your homework.

Scrabble – Oh, Scrabble. Oh, the unparalleled agony of having all vowels.

Twister – I think there is something inherently creepy about this game, at least after you turn thirteen, and all the unmediated awkwardness of adolescence commences in full force.

Christian Bale – is hot.

Chapter Sixteen:

"This Is How a Heart Breaks" – Rob Thomas, 2005 – In case the fact that I wrote a 7,000-word oneshot revolving around a Matchbox Twenty song didn't tip you off, I love them, and I love Robbie. Yes, we're on a first-name basis. Duh. Just like me and Billy Shakespeare.

"Lonely No More" – The only thing better than Draco singing Rob Thomas is Draco singing more Rob Thomas.

Yellow apple – Golden Delicious? Golden apples of the Hesperides? Anyone? Anyone?

Chapter Seventeen:

Mortifiterroriblizing – You know you've made up a good word when you can't even quite trace all the pieces of it.

Aliens in stomachs – Alien, 1979 – I think it was the first one that had that scene. This, predictably, goes back to the brother's-horror-movie-phase bit. I spent half of that movie fleeing and the other half coming back, drawn by a kind of morbid curiosity. Not a good strategy.

Fanny packs – are frigging awesome. If you survived the nineties, you are well aware of this.

"That was right out" – Monty Python and the Holy Grail, 1975 – "Four shalt thou not count; neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out." And how.

Chapter Eighteen:

"Dangerous Type" – The Cars, 1979 – I'm big on the Cars. For the win. Hence the Cars Bar.

Chapter Twenty:

"Shall we go?" "Yes, let's go." – Still stolen from Waiting for Godot. That hasn't changed. Some things never do.

The Talented Mister Malfoy – I haven't seen or read or whatever "The Talented Mister Ripley," and as a consequence know nothing about it. Except the title. Which I borrowed.


Same drill as last time; once I've got the first chapter of the next part up, which should, again, hopefully be late this summer or early in the fall, I'll add a notification to this fic, such that alerted parties will be… alerted. Shocking, I know.

Mostly… thanks, kids. You guys are amazing.

A fair amount of you are also older than I am. Hee.