Much to Relena's amusement, Heero is having a very unlucky day.    His inauspicious luck is wearing off on the other pilots.   Soon everyone is wishing this fiasco of a day would just come to an end.    From Santa to stripping, the fun just never stops.

This Is Not My Day 9

Hangover Idiots & Screams Of Pain

It was Christmas morning and early arising is necessary for such a joyous occasion.    Quatre bounced out of bed and bound down the stairs yelling his excitement for Santa's visitation the night before.

Wait!    Back up!    This is not excitement seen on Quatre's face, but undisputed pain.    One would think this to be reasonable considering the state he was in the night before.    And drunken blondes are supposed to have more fun; fun was the last thing Quatre was having.

Talking about states, the poor young man had just noticed his state of dress, or more importantly his lack of any dress.    That's right my fangirl friends… Quatre was naked.     He couldn't make heads or tails of the situation he was in, and his pounding hangover didn't help much.

Christmas… Bah!   Humbug!

He fumbled his way down the long expanse of stairs before he reached the kitchen.    Thank God he had remembered to put on a pair of boxers because Wufei was sitting at the table nursing a migraine of his own.     They both sat down at the kitchen table and sulked in the dark while drinking cold, thick coffee from the pot.

Trowa turned on the light and blinked in the newly acquired brightness.    He didn't even dodging the badly aimed coffee cups thrown his way.    Without saying a word he flicked the switch off and headed over to pour himself some coffee.

"This isn't coffee, I think it may be *smells the pot* turkey grease."    He said matter-of-factly as he bent over to get a clean pot from the cupboard.    He watched with little interest as his friends made a mad dash for the toilet.

Wufei grabbed the coffee pot and regurgitated into it before accepting a glass of water from Trowa.    The three of them sat in the cold, dark kitchen while their friends awoke on this pleasant morning.    Duo shuffled into the kitchen and was assailed by voices telling him not to turn on the light.

"Santa??"    He enquired meekly.    He quickly turned on the light to see the jolly fat man.    Instead he saw the dark bags under his friends' menacingly glaring eyes.

"Man, you guys are a scary sight in the morning."

"If I could see and stand properly Maxwell, I would stuff your strangely shaped scythe slippers up your *censored*."

Duo shrugged as he turned down the brightness of the light and headed out onto the back porch.    His slippers were indeed little scythes and they let out a scream with every second step.

*PAD*

*SCREAM*

*PAD*

*SCREAM*

*PAD*

*SCREAM*

*PAD**PAD**PAD*    "AWW MAN!!   Who puked on the floor?"

Trowa muttered caterer under his breath and looked at a blushing Quatre.

*SCREAM*

*OPEN DOOR*

*NEWSPAPERS RUSTLING*

"Holy shit!"

*SNICKER* *GUFFAW* *BERSERK LAUGHTER*

*DOOR CLOSE*

*PAD*

*SCREAM*

*SNICKER*

*PAD*

*SCREA…*    "Shut up you dumb assed wacko!"

"Quatre… such language.   You sure have been a wild boy lately."   *CHORTLES*

"Huh?"

"You're public exhibit made the paper."

"Huh?"   Quatre started to wonder what he had done during those hours he had no memory of.

Duo gleefully hauled out the morning paper… all 10 of them, and shoved them in Quatre's face.

Cursing.

"Whoa… buddy!    I think you've been hanging around the maguanacs a bit too long.   No more privileges for you young man."

Wufei grabbed one of the papers from the table and looked at it.   "Hey!   I made it into the tabloids."    He pointed to a dark figure in the background.

"I don't think that's you."

"It's me.    That's my ponytail."

"I think that's a female.    It looks like it has breasts.    Unless of course there's something you aren't telling us Wu-man."

Trowa picked up the front page of another tabloid with the headlines, PEACECRAFT PARTY EXPOSED.   He started to laugh when he read the stripper was thought to be Heero Yuy.    His laughter stopped when one of the pictures clearly depicted a man with beak-like hair pouring something into the punch.    He quickly dunked the page in his coffee and stuffed the evidence of his prank into his mouth.

Duo looked at his friend who was calmly chewing the piece of newspaper.    "You know they recycle that shit from toilet paper nowadays."

Trowa was still masticating in disgust as Heero stomped into the kitchen, yanked out his gun, and shot the heck out of a carton of milk.    The carton started to leak like a sieve onto the white marble floor.

Wufei had passed out in pain from the sound of the gunshots, Quatre was clinging wildly to the ceiling light, and Trowa had accidentally swallowed the recycled newspaper.

The light fixture started to creak and Quatre tumbled to the floor.    A mayonnaise bottle tipped off the shelf and landed on his head, knocking the poor boy into a sweet oblivious sleep.    Was he ever going to be in pain when he awoke.

Heero growled at the two remaining pilots.    "When I find out who spiked that punch I'm going to shoot his large toe off and shove it up his nose.    I'm out for revenge now!    Not only was Relena's party a laughingstock, but the press woke her up by calling me at 5 in the morning."

"What was Relena doing in your room at 5 in the morning?"

Heero continued on with his menacing rant.    "I will find out who this moron was, and then he will be in pain, a lot of very painful pain."

Relena strode in the room, looked at Heero with his gun and the two unconscious guys, turned around and left.   "I don't even want to know what you did to piss Heero off, I just wanted to let you know we're opening presents now.

"Presents!"    Quatre jumped up and jovially ran after her.   The rest of them blinked and looked questionably at the boy who should be in pain right now.

It didn't take long for Duo to jump up and hurried after them.    He stepped in the spilled milk and his electronic slippers short-circuited.    He cried out in surprised pain as the electric shock flowed through his body.

"Don't cry over spilled milk."    Trowa said with a smirk, obviously thinking he was quite funny.    Duo glowered and continued into the presents' room.    His slippers now sloshed with distorted screams.

*SQUISH*

*SCREaMESH*

*SPLATTER*

*QUACK*

Heero strode over the milk and took a swig.    He started to chew methodically on a bullet, and then swallowed.    Trowa backed very carefully out of the room, and then ran down the hall, pushing Duo into a potted cactus in his haste.

Heero spit the bullet out onto his palm and started to laugh diabolically.    Duo stood up with the cactus still stuck to his thigh and hair and started to hobble down the hall as quickly as he could.

He fell over cursing about potted plants in the winter and tried to pick himself out of the prickly mess.    Heero strode over, lifted him up, and kicked the cactus off.

"Hey thanks buddy.    I didn't think I'd ever free myself.    Wait, you want something don't you?    You never do anything nice for anyone but Relena unless you want something in return."

"Merry Christmas Duo."   Heero walked away chortling.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Merry Christmas everyone.   *Looks at calendar that says the date is June 17th,*    Uhhhhhh… have a great summer then.    Review my story please (no point asking you to read it… you got this far.)

Please tell me if you want me to continue to what they all got for Christmas.    As far as I'm concerned I can stop the story now, but I have some ideas in mind.

Please read my other stories:

Must I Kill You?!?  GW

The Preventor's Grapevine GW

Clinic's Therapy GW

Everything I Do GW

I'm Not In Love With Heero Yuy!  GW

Valentine's Day Showdown GW

Shadow Man; The Dawn CCS

Clow Tablets CCS

Whoaaaaa… this list just keeps growing.    When I starting writing this story it was just this.    *Starts jumping for joy and patting herself on the back.*

My site is a href="http://www.geocities.com/relenafanel/" That's Gundam Hilarious/A Please visit.