A/N: Dedicated to one of my favorite people, my little sister, who absolutely loves this couple. For that matter, so do I.

Draco stared at his son's head floating in the Floo fire, wondering if he was having an extremely vivid hallucination. It wasn't often that his son would call him from Hogwarts, were he was supposed to be staying for Christmas break, so he had vaguely wondered what was going on when Scorpius' head suddenly popped up out of the logs while he had been reading in front of the fireplace.

He had expected Scorpius to be sulkily informing him about some punishment he had gotten, not to tell him that he was staying at his new girlfriend's house with the...

Wait for it.

The Weasleys.

The only people who could make the Malfoy men scream like little girls in terror and frustration.

"There is no way."

"Dad, how many times will I have to say it? There is nothing wrong with Rose Wea—"

"Don't say it!"

"What?" For a fifteen year old boy, Scorpius looked ridiculously innocent and confused, "You mean Weas—"

"Scorpius, you've lived in this house for your entire life, yet you continue to say that wretched name, what's wrong with you?"

"Sorry, Father."

"Cut the smart ass comments and tell me if what I just heard you say is true."

"Yes, Dad, Rose is my girlfriend."

(There was a brief pause in which Scorpius had to hastily withdraw his head from the flames to narrowly avoid the ugly vase, which his father was always talking about 'accidentally' breaking, aimed at his cranium.)

"I don't believe it."

"But Dad—you said so yourself that you didn't mind Al, what's wrong with Rose?"

"Nothing is wrong with the girl, Scorpius—but her parents, an arrogant Muggle-born and a lower class buffoon, no less—are not my…ideal in-laws."

"Dad, we're fifteen. If I do marry her—which I'm not saying I will—her parents would make about as much effort to socialize with you and Mum as much as you two would with them. And what's wrong with Muggle-borns, anyway?"

"Nothing! Nothing, sorry, just an old, bad habit. Besides, what am I going to tell your grandfather?"

"He won't…"

"Yes, he will care. If you are involving yourself with Arthur Weasley's granddaughter, he will be most displeased."

"Mum likes her."

"And what does that mean to me?"

"I don't know; it should mean something!"

"Scorpius, while I value your mother's opinion in many subjects, the Weasels are not one of them."

"What about Grandmother? She saved Harry Potter, for Merlin's sake!"

"Potter may be related by marriage to Weasel, but he is not a Weasley by name, so that makes the Potters a family on level with ours by only the barest grace. And on that account, why don't you go after the Potter girl instead?"

(Another brief pause as Scorpius accidently inhaled hot ash and had to pause to hack it out.)

"Lily? Eww. Dad, that's gross! She's thirteen!"

"So? Your mother was eleven when we first met."

"Ew ew ew! Stop! No way would I ever go out with Lily Potter, no offense to her. But she's annoying. Besides, James and Al would kill me!"

"Then what about Pansy's girl?"

"Amaryllis? She looks like a beastly Pekinese!"


"Well she does!"

"You are not allowed to date the Weasley girl and that is final!"

"Oh really? Well, guess what, Dad? I will and you can't stop me!"

"Don't disobey me, young man!"

"What-ever. Oh, and guess what Rose told me about what her dad told her?"

"…Go on."

"She said that her dad called us a 'family of ferrets'. And you just called them weasels. And aren't ferrets part of the weasel family?"

"I don't believe in that sort of preposterous implication, idiot boy."

"I'm just saying. 'Sides, t Rose Malfoy doesn't sound so bad…"


"Thanks for the idea, Dad. Bye!"


"Draco, calm yourself down. Your son is just an impertinent git defying you for the hell of it. Don't worry, that will never happen…"

Despite his self-pep talk, Draco began to have nightmares about gap-toothed redheaded Weasley-Malfoy children calling him Grandpa.

Sequel to About a Scorpion on the Fellytone. If you liked it, please go and read the other one.