Title: Growing & New Place

Author: redbrunja

Fandom: Saiyuki

Rating: PG-13

Characters: Mainly Yaone & Hakkai.

Summery: "Yaone knew she was in trouble when even Lirin noticed."


Yaone knew she was in trouble when even Lirin noticed.

"Yaone," the girl asked, bottom lip trembling, "are you dying?"

The bit of croissant Yaone'd been raising to her lips slipped from her fingers. "Lirin," she protested, "don't be ridiculous!"

Lirin looked at her with big, worried eyes.

Yaone looked incredulously at Dokugakuji and Kougaiji, expecting them to share her surprise.

Both men were looking at her as if they'd like an answer.

"I'm not dying," she said throat tightening, and she sounded unconvincing even to herself. "Why would you think that?"

"Well," Kou said slowly, "You're very pale."

"I'm just fair-skinned!" she protested.

"You're not eating!" Lirin cried, in the same way someone else would yell, 'you're not breathing!'

"Lirin, I'm eating breakfast with you right now," Yaone argued.

Lirin pointed accusingly at Yaone's plate.

"I think she's right," Doku said.

"Thank you," Yaone respond.

"The other her," Doku corrected. "You are just playing with your food."

Yaone would have had a handy retort for that, except when she looked down at her plate she saw an impressive sea of crumbs, the bits of bread so voluminous that she almost didn't believe they could have all come from the sole pastry she'd taken from the basket at the center of the table.

"I'm not dying," she repeated.

"Could you manage to look less pale and exhausted, then?" Doku asked, blessedly breaking the tension, "cause I think you're scaring your mirror at this point."

Yaone gave him a weak smile. "I'll try," she said, wishing some terminal illness was her problem.


"Good evening, Hakkai," Yaone said formally as Hakkai opened the door of his hotel room, "It has been brought to my attention that there is something we need to discuss."

"Come in," he responded, stepping back. He'd been reading in bed, and the covers were thrown back invitingly, a book resting on the night stand. The only light came from a bedside lamp, and the room was dim and soothing to her tired eyes.

Yaone walked over to the table and pressed her hands flat into the wood. There was a mirror on the wall, and she looked at her face in it, drawn and almost translucent. The women in the mirror looked barely in control and terrified. Yaone switched her focus to Hakkai, who was watching her with concern.

"I'm pregnant and I'm not getting rid of it," she said.

Yaone watched the impact of her words. There was no surprise at her condition, but she saw the moment of shock at her decision, followed by a look of joy so raw and naked that she closed her eyes; those emotions were too intimate for her to gaze upon.

There was a moment of silence, and then she felt Hakkai's arms wrap around her, strong and sure, and it was only then that the terror and uncertainly released their choke hold on her enough for her to start crying.