pairing: Kakashi/Sakura, hinted Genma/Ino
summary: Kakashi and Sakura fail at relationships, but maybe they can make it work together.
disclaimer: Someday, it will ALL be mine!
Dream About Me
After being an official couple for six weeks and four days, Kakashi and Sakura have their first couple-fight. Kakashi's mask lies discarded on the floor of his apartment, his hitae-ate is pushed into his hair to keep it away from his eyes and there are red splotches on his pale cheeks from the frustration, anger and annoyance. He clears his hoarse throat, red and blue eyes narrowing into slits as Sakura points at him with an accusing finger, her pink hair moving around her flushed face in whisps and she says something meaningless, because isn't every word meaningless in a lovers' spat? Kakashi thinks they are and therefore, he doesn't listen and ignores.
Sakura notices this and lets her arm fall to her side. She's panting, and she wants to yell some more, to take out all the confusing feelings and needs and emotions that are all Kakashi's fault, on Kakashi; hell, she thinks, he deserves it for making her like this. Sakura seethes and her nails dig into her palms when Kakashi turns his back on her, and as soon as she sees the back of the jounin's head, all the sweet kisses and touches and words fly out of the window, and Sakura bits her lip hard enough to make it bleed. Rational thought joins the kisses and touches and words, and Sakura steps in front of Kakashi, the punch delivered into the man's face before it was even thought through.
The young woman looks up into his eyes, her stare hurt, guilty, scared and confused; she doesn't know how to do this, and she's trying so hard to make thisthing between them work, but all he does is turn away and shuts the world out. Sakura wants to grab the collar of his shirt and shake him, hard, and scream at his face for him to help her - isn't this something worth working for? Her eyes ask him, but his answer never reaches her.
The door closes with a bang as Sakura leaves. Kakashi lifts his mask from the floor and wipes the blood from his nose into it.
It amazes him how the fabric smells like Sakura.
The door still doesn't open, but Kakashi can sense Sakura inside the apartment.
"Sakura, open the door - I know you're in there."
He throws the rose in his hand a dirty look; it wasn't helping in the way it was supposed to. Kakashi sighs, and knocksthe door again, this time a bit more harder. He can hear hushed whispers from behind Sakura's neighboring door, and frowns - why did Sakura have to live next to Ino and Genma's apartment? Apologizing was humiliating enough without the giggles echoing in the corridoor.
Kakashi knocks. No answer.
He had always wondered when would he find himself from this situation - he had dated girls on and off during the years, but never before had he been in a so-called serious relationship with anyone. Truth to be told, he had never even wanted to have a permanent girlfriend; partners meant feelings, feelings meant heartbreak and problems, and had Sakura been a lesser woman, Kakashi was sure she would've given up on him long ago. But there he is, standing behind her door with a pathetic rose in his hand and 'sorry' on the tip of his tongue.
And she isn't opening the god damn door.
Kakashi feels a vein popping on his temple, and disregarding any future embarrassment, he kneels in front of the post slot and stuffs the rose through it, feeling strange satisfaction when numerous petals fall on the floor and when the stem breaks in half. He keeps the slot open with his fingers, and sends a silent prayer to the gods above that Sakura won't decide to slam it close. He takes a deep breath and prepares to spew out the speech he practiced on his way to Sakura's.
"Sakura, I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to ignore you. I should've-"
His sentence comes to an abrupt end when the wooden door connects with his face with inhuman strenght; Sakura steps out into the hallway, holding the abused rose. She spares Kakashi, who is cradling his bruised cheek with his left palm, a fleeting look before her eyes fixate on the floor. Kakashi gets up, and opens his mouth, but the words he had memorized don't come out. He hates the pang of guilt in his chest as he notices Sakura's puffy, downcast eyes.
He hates the need to hold her against himself, and apologize until his throat gets sore.
Suddenly, Sakura lifts her face, and their gazes connect. She looks away quickly, though, and fiddles with remaining petals of the rose. Kakashi feels like hitting himself continuously on the head.
The silence stretches out between them, and Kakashi wonders if he should say something, but then Sakura opens her mouth, and everything Kakashi wanted to say comes out from her mouth.
"I know you're sorry, and I'm sorry too, for punching you. And for the door. And for leaving so... childishly. But, you know," she says, her voice steady and older than her years, "I need you to help me with this. With us, since this is about you and me, and I understand it's difficult for you, but hell, it's just as difficult for me too - I just... I just want to know that if someday I'm too tired to make sure we don't fall apart, then... then I have to be sure you'll keep us together." Sakura's eyes are piercing as they stare into Kakashi's. "Can you promise to do that?"
The claustrophobic feeling surrounds him as the soft question enters his brain; he wants to say yes, yes, yes, but he knows better than to ever promise anything that means something. So he shakes his head, and looks out of the hallway's window.
"I can't promise that," he says evenly, not daring to glance at Sakura, "but - but I'm willing to try. Because I want this - us, to work too."
It's all he has to offer, and he wishes so hard it'd be enough for her. And when he hears the soft thud of the rose falling on the floor, his heart beat speeds up and the 'I didn't mean that's and 'you got it all wrong's start to crawl along his throat, wanting to get out; but then warm, familiar arms wrap around his torso and he sighs, burying his face into pink hair. He can feel Sakura inhaling deeply.
He knows he's in love, but tells himself it's ok to pretend he isn't for a while, because he knows it won't be long until he'll admit it to everyone.
They stay like that for a moment, and Sakura whispers 'thank you'; Kakashi lowers his mask and kisses her forehead. When the giggles and shushs from the neighboring apartment get too loud for them, Sakura pulls away and takes Kakashi's hand, nodding towards her open door.
When they're inside with the door firmly closed, and Kakashi arms slide along her sides, Sakura tells him it was an ugly rose anyway.
A/N: Yeah. Un-betaed goodness? Anyway, I'll just... well, go, now. Oh, but before I make my grand exit: this fic was greatly inspired by one song - Anthems For A Seventeen-year-old Girl by Broken Social Scene. Listen to it and weep.