Author: Blossom Morphine
Contact: blossommorphine. Yes, but ask me first.
Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me. If it did, I wouldn't need to do my annual begging of funds to continue my education. Please, don't sue unless you wish to be paid in FAFSA checks.
AN: This is the sequel to "Miscommunication", my first SasuNaru fic, which you can find either on or on my livejournal. I received requests for a sequel, and although I never intended that, I decided to go for it. After all, the only way you get better at writing is to keep writing. Also, I've done a better job of looking out for any grammatical or spelling errors. I know that was a valid criticism about 'Miscommunication' and did my best to see it doesn't happen again. This is the first time I have tried to get into Naruto's head. Tell me what you think. This takes place after the installation of the Fifth Hokage and before the Land of Tea filler arc.
I like being around people having a good time. It's like I can feel in their chakras how happy they are. Even now, lying in my bed, I can still feel their joy. I kinda needed it, considering I screwed up earlier. Operation: SasuSaku had failed miserably. Also, I gotta come up with better titles for my operations.
I'm too use to giving him an earfull. If I had joked with him, he might have merely grunted and taken Sakura out, even if it was to get me to shut up. That meant I would have to keep up with my current battle doctrine, 'til I figured out something else. It'd take a while; my opponent has all the advantages.
I'd do anything for him, and he knows it too, the smug, un-smiling bastard. He knows we'd all do whatever we can to get into his good graces. Even the guys like Shikamaru and Shino, who are never too impressed with anyone, are. All without ever trying, Sasuke is the most loved and the most looked after. If I didn't know I'd lose the little respect he has for me, I'd ask how he did it.
Sakura-chan loves him. I'm pretty sure of it. She has beautiful eyes, like green apples. Every time she looks at him, they become more beautiful, shiny with need and adoration. I had always wished she'd look at me like that. When someone looks at you like that, you know you matter.
They're both pretty well respected and liked. People criticize them for being stuck up, being too sure of their abilities, but at the end of the day, everyone accepts them as the standard of what a genin should aim to be. Maybe that's why I wanted to be with them so badly. If Sasuke was my best friend and Sakura was my girlfriend, it'd be the ultimate sign that I had finally been welcomed into the fold. I'd imagine being in class, Sakura, blushing and giggling next to me, and Sasuke, smiling and listening attentively to one of my jokes as all the idiots who ever dumped on me looked on with envy. They were envious not only because I was with Sakura and Sasuke, but because they were with me. It's creepy and selfish, but I didn't care. They weren't real to me like the way they are now. I just wanted everyone to look at me and give a damn.
It's kind of weird. A year ago, I'd never have tried to help them get together. If they got together, where would that leave me? The third wheel, the hanger-on that no one really remembers.
It's because I'd do anything for him. I really would. I'd go to the ends of the earth and across the street just for that moody yarou. It's like a burning in my chest but as normal as breathing. There wasn't some big realization or 'aha' moment. Of course I'd do what it takes to make Uchiha-yarou to smile, even if I never get to see it.
That means more, right? I doubt Sakura-chan could do it and she's braver than people give her credit for. She's smart and really great with chakra control, but she's not that fast or strong. She doesn't have some special move or possess a kekkei genkai. But every times there's a battle, she's right there, ready to give it her all.
But I don't think she could make herself give up Sasuke, to try and pair him up someone like Ino or Hinata just so her beloved Sasuke-kun could be happy. In fact, sometimes, I don't think Sakura is really love with Sasuke, she wants him like I did. For the symbol of having him. Everyone knows about her and Ino's fighting over him. They use to be good friends, practically stitched together at the hip. Before that, she was like me, lost and alone, taunted or ignored by the rest of the class. Then Ino took her in and stopped people from picking on her. After that, Sakura became one of the in crowd and everyone accepted her. But then Sakura stopped being friends with her and everyone thought it was over Sasuke.
I knew that wasn't true the day they both fought in the chuunin exam. When they were trying to beat the shit out of each other, Sakura started yelling about how she was going to prove she had become better than Ino. Some bizarre things about buds and flowers were in that too, but it was the challenge that stuck in my mind. It took my weeks to figure it out, but when I did, it made sense. This was never about Sasuke, it was about Sakura. It had always been about Sakura. She was trying to prove herself to Ino, and Sasuke was the trophy. Even if Sakura couldn't win against Ino in the battle to become chuunin, she might still just be able to win in the war of love. As beautiful, brilliant, and beloved as Sakura was, she was still the sobbing girl trying to hide her huge forehead behind her bangs, somewhere inside her. And she was just as creepy and selfish as I was.
That's probably when I stopped seriously running after her. Little by little, I didn't flirt as much as I use to. Sometimes, it would come back, and I would try to get her to kiss me or go out with me, but she just didn't mean as much anymore. She was still my friend, just not my precious person.
Sasuke started to grow in me. Hard and fast now, not the slow creeping since the day he would have given his life and dreams up for me. I would lie on my bed and think about him. Sasuke never smiles and I always do. He's loved but I'm not, yet he never smiles. Why wasn't it enough for him?
Because their love isn't really love. Love isn't just telling you that you how awesome you are, I learned that from Iruka-sensei. Love is also telling you when you screwed up. When you're being cowardly or weak, you need someone to tell you off. People only say those things when they care enough. That means no one has cared for Sasuke since his family died.
Love is seeing your precious person with all their flaws and faults and helping them to overcome it. Sasuke won't become stronger, physically and emotionally, by being coddled and awed over. That's why Sakura wasn't going to cut it. I had thrown her at him, hoping that she would truly come to love him once she really knew him, but it had backfired. It would have backfired anyways. She would have loved him the way she always loved him: as her trophy. Parading him in front of Ino and every girl in the village, that's what Sakura had in mind for him. That's not what he needed.
I'll give him that. He needs it. No one else will give it to him, they won't see him for what he is. So much kissing up and adoration, it's no wonder he's so bitter and alone. He's the opposite of me. No matter how much good I do, the village will always hate me. No matter how much bad Sasuke does, the village will always love him. He needs to be criticized and I need to be adored, but we never got it. He'll never adore me, but I can criticize him. He'll have all the benefits of love he needs then.
I'm so hungry for it now, the idea of seeing Sasuke smile. I've wanted it for so long I can't remember what it's like living for anything else except for becoming Hokage. I can't pull it out of me even when I'm so mad at him I can barely breathe. It'll be slow at first, as if it doesn't belong there. Then his face will light up, it won't be so pale. Finally, the smile will reach his eyes, and there will be a contentment and joy that he hasn't felt since he was nine.
Bending over backwards, not letting him see what he doesn't want to, that's Sakura's job. My job is to take it all in and throw it back at him when I think he needs it, at least until I come up with a better plan. Only then will he smile.
So I'll keep doing anything for Sasuke.
I love him so damn much.
Blossom Morphine: One of these days, I'm going to write a comedy and it's going to be damn hysterical. Until then, tragedy is all I can muster. I wrote this while listening to the music from the Naruto soundtrack for the series. 'Lonliness', 'Sadness and Sorrow', and 'Wind' especially helped in putting me in the mood. Most importantly, I'd like to thank blank bullets, i make rain, and gwyneda for encouraging me to write this. I hope you find favor with the half-witted scribbling that is 'Unconditonal'. Although I know I used up my 'newbie' pass on 'Miscommunication', I'd still like to ask for a little mercy in your reviews. Thank you.