Disclaimer: No, I dont own Kim Possible or any its associated characters. Really, I mean it...
Note: Kigo, so leave if that's not your thing. Just a quick one shot to pass the time as I work on "The Shot Heard Around the World".
He blinked several times.
Yet no matter how hard he tried to understand the couple before him, he just couldn't understand why the two were together.
Across from the brain dead teen Shego and Kim were engaged in an epic battle over the last nacho that sat on a shared plate before them. Ron was amazed at how many different moves the two tenacious fighters could execute in such a small space.
"GIVE ME THE DAMN NACHO PUMPKIN!"
"GO SUCK AN EGG!" And with that the red headed hero head butted Shego, swiftly dazing the older woman. Taking advantage of Shego's stunned state, Kim grabbed the nacho and stuffed the entire thing into her mouth.
Ron gaped as Kim did her best to chew the large amount of food as bits and pieces managed to fall out of her mouth. Shego shook her head to regain her bearings, and noticing Kim do her best to finish off the nacho, quickly hit Kim in the gut with a short hook.
A mushy ball of chewed up nacho landed on the table with a sickening thud as the wind was knocked out of Kim.
"Ha! If I can't have it, nobody can!" Shego said with a smirk. Kim stared at the ball of mess that used to be a nacho blankly before glaring at Shego.
"You don't even like nachos!" Kim accused as she lightly rubbed where Shego had nailed her.
"I had a change of heart," Shego sniffed as looked off to the side away from her irked girlfriend.
Kim reached out towards Shego's neck, but stopped midway and made clenching motions with her fingers like she was struggling to hold herself back.
Ron decided that it wouldn't be a good idea to remind Kim that she already had three nachos when usually she struggled to eat two and that the whole fight had started when Shego had reached for that fourth nacho which Kim NEVER finishes and always gives away to someone else or throws out.
Ignoring the stares that they were drawing from the people around them, the bickering couple continued to trade insults as they left the booth, gathered some napkins, and proceeded to clean the mess up...all the while still arguing.
Ron let out a tired sigh as he gave his mind a rest from trying to figure the two out. The two (ex?) rivals had started going out a year ago after Kim had graduated from high school. Ron and Kim had mutually agreed shortly after they began their relationship that they were better off being best friends...and a week later Kim brought home the green thief from a solo mission and announced to her friends and family that the two were an official couple. Ron was a little suspicious about the sudden development between the two shortly after their break-up and Kim was very vague in how they started going out. When ever she was asked how she came to realize her feelings for the plasma wielding thief and how the two hooked up, she would only mutter something about being trapped with a sex-deprived Shego in a cage for three days.
And when Shego was asked, she would get a cocky grin on her face as she said "I was just too sexy for my own good. After being around me for three days in that cage Kimmie couldn't resist the temptation and mauled me."
And whenever the question was asked while both were present, usually a huge argument broke out as they both claimed two different versions of what happened. Which eventually lead to the two duking it out...and always ended up with two battered women trying to swallow each others face as they made up.
Now that Ron thought about it, thats how they usually were whenever he saw the two. They would lightly trade barbs and insults, friendly at first, but then someone would say something to spark one their fuses and thus begin an argument between the two. Then the two would resort to mortal combat, and after they were spent with fighting they would make up which usually involved trying to find a nice secluded area to occupy for a few hours or just getting a room at a near by hotel.
Ron looked thoughtfully at the arguing couple as whatever they were bickering over now was starting to escalate into another fight. Maybe fighting was just the only way they could express how much they cared for each other? If that was the case, then they've been expressing their feelings for each other quite a while. It would definitely explain the sudden change in how Kim saw Shego.
Ron's blank face suddenly brightened and looked enlightened as he came to the only conclusion he could about the couple.
"You two fight each other all the time because thats how you both express your love!" Ron exclaimed loudly.
The entire place got quiet as the patrons looked at the group curiously. Kim, who was in the motions of trying to get Shego into a headlock, looked at Ron with a raised eyebrow. Shego, who was in the motions of grabbing a fork to stab Kim's arm which was loosely wrapped around her neck, looked at Ron with narrowed eyes.
This continued for about five minutes.
"Uh.." Ron began nervously as sweat trickled down his neck. "Right? Thats...thats how you two...express...your...love..." Ron trailed off as he looked hopelessly at the annoyed couple who decided to put their argument behind them to set the record straight.
"Ron, we fight because, despite the fact that I care for Shego, she's a rude, egotistical bitch that just doesn't know when to call it quits." Kim said with a straight face.
Shego glanced at Kim with amusement and what seemed to be anticipation. "I just fight Kimmie for the kinky make up sex," Shego said with a smug grin, loud enough for all the patrons to hear.
Ron and Kim gaped at Shego as the reactions around them ranged from looks of disgust, envy, and amusement.
Shego leered at Kim. "I know its the same for you princess. Cause why else would someone carry around a strap-on and a gag ball in their purse." A deathly silence filled the area as everyone could practically feel the titanic battle approaching.
"SHEGO!!" Kim screeched furiously, face a tomato red from embarrassment and anger, as she launched herself at Shego, toppling them onto the floor.
Ron stared at the wrestling couple, the brain dead look once again on his face, as Rufus climbed out of his pocket and onto his shoulder. Rufus looked down at the couple as Kim managed to grab Shego from behind, and with surprising strength that stunned the audience, suplexed the still grinning thief, effectively knocking her out.
Rufus glanced at Ron's stupefied look, at Kim's anger contorted face, and at a still grinning, unconscious Shego. Rufus then looked at Ron at with a confused look.
"Love?" he squeaked.
"Yeah..." Ron said weakly. "Thats love alright."
AN: Just a little something I did to past the time while I prepare for the next arc of The Shot Heard Around the World...and I just wanted write some kigo goodness. You know the drill. Love it, hate it, just review.