Pairing: Allen x Lenalee
Disclaimer: All rights to D-gray-man belong to Katsura Hoshino
IX. She Dreams She's Awake (Cosmic Love)
She thought of Allen as many things but above them all, she thought of him most as a falling star. The star, so radiant and potent fell from his heart and landed in her eyes. Lenalee remembers the pain of how much it flooded her senses and left everything in an ocean of blurs. She recalls the ache of the star as it tore through her eyes, setting Lenalee's whole world ablaze leaving her breathlessly blinded.
The stars and the moon have all been blown out and soon enough Lenalee thinks that Allen has left her in the dark because there is no dawn here, no day, always in a constant twilight in the shadow of Allen's heart. Soon enough she is left prodding in the dark, using only her hands to feel and to touch anything tangible and to remind herself that she's still alive.
Lenalee notes that she's been here before, in the dark where silence has leased filled with naught but empty promises. She used to lay to waste here, waiting and wishing and hoping that someday the morning star will come. As she grew older, wiser and much more refined she began to understand that the day star will never fully illuminate in this darkness. She lives in a nightmare, after all. That's when she notices it. It's faint, like a flutter of a bird in the wake of a new day.
And in the dark, she hears Allen's heartbeat. She can't pinpoint exactly where, but she knows she hears it and begins to make her way to wherever his heart might be. Lenalee pushes through the blackness of neither time nor day because such things do not exist here. She tries so desperately to find the tempos of his heart, trying to find the sound but realizes that it has stopped. She's alone in the darkness again so darkness she became.
"You know Lenalee, sometimes you live like you're in a dream."
Allen's voice is soft in the crisp of the night and his eyes are gentle as he addresses her. The greyish blue of his eyes study her intently because he's afraid that if he blinked this moment would become just that – a moment.
The air is scented of flowers and the breeze is coated with a warmth so subtle, so perfect that it's almost as though the evening itself is make-believe. She turns to him then, watching as he approaches her, smile so infectious she couldn't help but return it.
"I try." Lenalee says, shifting her gaze back to the sky.
Allen looks at her, so strong in her will and resolve yet knew all too well she was breaking because he too, was crumbling from the inside out.
"Oh?" Allen is standing beside her now, the fire from their campsite glowing in the distance as the voices of the finders blend into the night. "What do you mean?"
"Do you ever think that this is all just a dream?" Lenalee's smile is slightly forced, eyes rather blank and all the while through this Allen thinks it doesn't suit her. "That once we die, we awaken and this long nightmare is over?"
He begins to understand now. Being in the dark does this to you, sweeping you in and taking a hold of you with so much force that sometimes, you're far into the rush for rescue. He follows Lenalee's eyes back to the velvet of the night, all the while vowing silently that he would never let it get that far. Allen treasures her far too much and losing her would wreck him, creating a world scar so great that it would shame those on the lunar surface.
"I used to always think of these ridiculous scenarios in my head, the ones where exorcists, akuma, Noahs and The Earl are nothing but bedtime stories and we are simply who we are, nothing more and nothing less." Lenalee explains, heart constricting because she knows she wants something she can never have and the worst part being is that she can't even try.
"Living like a dream is comfort, even if it's just that...a dream." They say in unison.
Both Allen and Lenalee turn to look at each other and her eyes are filled with everything that is of her again and they both laugh. For a few moments they stand in silence, breathing the life around them and the company of each other in because who knows when home will be whole again.
Allen looks her in the eye, commits everything about her into memory and buries it deep within the temperaments of his soul.
"Let's make a promise."
With newfound resolution he extends his arm to point to the heavens above. The moon so full and beautiful (just like her) hung in the air while the stars thrilled the night sky. Wearing his heart on his sleeve like a loaded gun he begins to say something that makes her world shake more than it ever did before.
"If we ever get separated just look at the sky, that way even if we are worlds apart we are still connected. After all, we'll always share the same sky."
It's starting to become chilly now so the gentleman that Allen is wraps his arm around her and she leans into him, breathing in his scent because this moment is hers, this moment is his and this moment is theirs...together.
"You're right," She whispers, burying her face into his chest, "we always will."
As Lenalee closes her eyes and snakes her slender arms around him she pictures herself taking the stars from her eyes and making a map. She knows that no matter what happens, somehow she could always find her way back and the darkness wasn't so bad, because now she hears Allen's heart beating again, so loud and resonate that there could be no mistaking it.
"You were in the darkness too, ne Allen-kun?"
She feels his hold on her tighten and Lenalee returns the gesture. There was nothing cosmic about the dark, nothing at all but Lenalee knows that they are cosmic...the both of them, together. That was enough to get through the dark and if they were to part and prod in the darkness alone once again, bleeding separately for days on end, it wouldn't matter because she knows she'll hear his heartbeat again. The stars from her eyes, the ones that came from his heart will map a path like they always do and her world will be whole again, just the way it's meant to be...
"I'll stay in the darkness with you."
Lenalee says this with so much clarity and this time, Allen is sure that a star has fallen from her eyes and into his heart.
Author's Note: Here's my yearly update haha *sweat drops* That's meant to be a joke because I realized that it's been a year since I've updated this. I totally suck and I'm sorry (which I always seem to say). Please don't kill me. I'm really going to try to update this more often (yes I've said this before...once again) but this time around I do have a lot more time because I'm not taking summer school so I have all the time in the world woohoo! Also what did everyone think of DGM chapter 205! My heart hurts for our fav two people! Especially Lenalee, poor girl. I'll probably write a one-shot about 205 soon because it's leaving a rather sad feeling in my heart /3
Leave a comment or two! Good or bad, all is welcome!
I sure hope no one has forgotten about this haha *cries*