This is basically about how things would have happened if Bella had been an addict. I have this weird fixation with writing about really messed up people. I couldn't tell you why.

The plane was dark. I didn't mind that so much as the fact that it was cold. I was used to Phoenix's warm climate, and the air on the plane seemed to be foreshadowing the weather that was in Forks.

Renee was making me go. She said it would help straighten me out. I guess small towns are supposed to cure wayward teens. I don't know how that works, but she thinks it does. If only she knew the reason that I'd gotten off track. I couldn't tell her though, I just couldn't.

"You need to get yourself worked out." She'd told me at the airport, trying to hide her tears as she gave me one last hug.

So now, I was on the plane, waiting for it to land. I clenched my hands together to stop them from shaking. My head was starting to pound. I reached down and pulled the bottle of sleeping pills out of my purse. I popped one into my mouth, then faded into a deep sleep.

It was an odd dream. There was a boy-one I'd never seen-with golden eyes. He was standing, watching me. He seemed to be expecting me to do something.

"What do you want?"

He shrugged, giving a crooked smile.

I repeated myself. He started talking, in the voice of one of the flight attendants.

"Please buckle your seatbelts. The plane is going to land."

I woke with a start. Outside the windows, it was still dark, but the lights in the cabin were on. People were pulling the seatbelts around themselves. I put mine on, hands shaking again.

The plane landed, and I was glad to get off. I went into the airport, where Charlie was standing there, arms crossed, looking uncomfortably up at the ceiling. He'd already gotten my bag for me. It was standing next to him.

"Hey, Dad." I called. He turned his head my way. I waved, and he smiled at me.

"How're you, Bells?"

We both knew it wasn't a real question, but more of a conversation starter. He knew exactly how I was, because Renee had told him. The only thing he didn't know about were the drugs. Which reminds me…

"I'm going to go to the ladies room, okay?" I asked.

"You know where it is?"

I nodded. I'd come to this airport every summer until I was fourteen, flying in to Forks.

"I'll be right here, okay? Wait-actually, I think I'll go ahead and take this to the car. It's parking lot B. It's the only police cruiser there."

"See ya." I said, making my way through the crowd towards the ladies room.

When I was in a stall, I pulled a small, opaque bottle out of my purse and opened it. Inside were a bunch or small pills. Ecstasy. A previous boyfriend, Derek, had gotten me hooked. He hadn't stuck around, but his influence had.

When I'd gotten my fix and my hands had stopped shaking, I came out of the stall. I didn't look half bad, I thought, looking in the mirror. I giggled. I always felt differently about myself when I was high.

I waltzed out to the cruiser, feeling a little dazed, although that was good. That was how the drugs made me feel. I got in the car, setting my purse on the floor.

"So." Charlie said, pulling out of the parking lot, "I got you a car."

"Thanks. But I was planning on getting myself one-you didn't have to-"

"I got it from Billy Black. He's in a wheelchair now, so it doesn't help him to have a car. But it's in great shape. Very sturdy."

"Oh. Great." Really great. Especially since I was a danger magnet. 'Very sturdy' was exactly what I needed.

The rest of the drive passed in silence, until we reached the house. An old red truck was parked in the driveway.

"I love it!"


"Oh, yeah. Especially the back. If I kill anyone, I can just keep the bodies in the truck bed." I looked at his face. He was obviously wondering whether he'd underestimated my screwed-up-ness. "Dad, I'm kidding. Chill. I like the truck."

The rest of the evening was spent getting my things crammed into the small dresser of the upstairs bedroom and eating dinner; peanut butter and jelly. After eating that, I'd volunteered to make dinner for the rest of my exile.

I finally fell asleep, exhausted, about midnight. The boy was there again, watching me but never speaking. I yelled, trying to make him say something, but he wouldn't, and in the end, he started running, very fast, away from me.

Author's note: You already know what happens the first day of school, and it's going to be similar, even though she's on drugs, so I'm starting after lunch. Also, assume that she did not see Edward or the Cullens during lunch, because in this scenario, she decided to go do drugs during lunch. Bad Bella

By the time I found Biology, I was late. There was only one open seat, next to a boy with messy golden hair.

"Yes?" The teacher said, as though I was interrupting something highly important.

"I'm Bella Swan, the new student."

"Oh. Just sit there." He gestured to the open seat.

I went and sat down, twenty-something pairs of eyes watching me. The boy next to me glanced at me, his eyes hardening as though they were pieces of coal. He looked like he hated me.

I tried to smile, but it felt more like a grimace. He kept giving me that look, like he was angry with me. I flipped my hair over my shoulder and trained my eyes on the teacher, trying to completely ignore his presence.

Halfway through the class, I glanced at him again. His hand was clenched on the desk, his jaw tight, staring determinedly out the window.

I meant to confront him about it after class, to see what his problem with me was, but he was out of the room as soon as the bell rang, before anyone else. It wasn't worth it for me to try to catch him; I was too clumsy.

I floated through the rest of the day, not listening to a word of my teachers' lessons. A couple of kids introduced themselves to me. Jessica, a curly haired girl who was in my Biology and English classes, turned around during a dull Shakespeare lecture and whispered, "Hey. I'm Jessica."


"I know. Angela told me."

I didn't ask her who Angela was. The teacher was giving us a dirty look. (Never interrupt an English teacher talking about Shakespeare. They think he's God's equal.)

I stepped into the bathroom after the final bell, took a couple pills, and stepped out. Surprisingly, nobody ever noticed what I was taking. I shoved the bottle in my purse and went out to the parking lot.

He was there, unlocking his silver car. The Biology guy.

"Hey!" I called across the parking lot, running towards him before he got the chance to drive away, "Hey, you! I need to talk to you."

He turned around and watched me coming towards him, arms folded across his chest. It was then I realized that he was the guy from my dream. That wasn't possible, was it? I pulled my thoughts together so I could speak to him without gawking at how familiar he looked.

"What's your problem?"

"I don't have one." He informed me.

"Yes you do. You hate me."

"No, I don't." His face was calm, but his hand s, clenched into fists and the look in his black eyes gave him away.

"Why were you glaring at me? I didn't do anything."

"How about this. Take a walk with me, and I'll tell you." He gestured a hand towards the vast expanse of trees that bordered the parking lot.

I wasn't scared. I'd gotten way from plenty of guys trying to mess with me, and I really was curious.


He started into the woods, and I followed, almost running to keep up. Things were starting to haze. Trees shifted from their positions, and even though I knew something was wrong with me, I kept trying to follow him, until he stopped, leaning against a tree, out of sight of the parking lot.

He took a deep breath. "Bella, I really am very sorry for this." He took a step towards me, but before I got the chance to understand what he was talking about, my knees collapsed beneath me, sending me crashing to the ground.

No, she isn't dead. She just passed out, but Edward's in a really bad situation now.