Another Fanfic Challenge from Icelands' website! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Heck, even the idea isn't mine...

Summary: Maerad and Cadvan are having a fighting lesson indoors.

Requirements:
- Cadvan says 'That's my...um...hand...'
- Maerad is totally drunk.
- A pole is involved.
- Hem turns up at the end, dressed as a fluffy duck.


Cadvan faked a right then came down hard on...air. He looked around, and saw Maerad, her foil raised as she came to bring down the winning strike. But he was too quick, and turned away. Suddenly his sword caught on something as he swung around.

"Bacon! Lettuce! Tomato! (A/N: Inside joke...) Is that...?"

And it was: he brought his sword down on a pole that had been incoveniently placed in the corner of the room. It, in turn, fell, and shattered a keg of ale that had been stacked neatly on top of the others in this certain corner...where they were practicing.

Why is there ale in a practice arena?

And then, as he flailed for balance, he ended up bringing Maerad down with him, and they tumbled into a stream of ale.

"CADVAN!" she shrieked, before the drink flowed freely into her open mouth and she flew back under the pressure of the ale.

He almost died laughing, but he had the sense to haul her up. Not before, of course, she had been totally drenched in the heavy alcohol. And, by his guess, a lot of it had gone inside her.

She clung to him as she stood up, laughing and hiccuping, swaying back and forth slightly.

"Ahhh, Cadders, wasn't that fun? Ale for everyone! Look, I'm a poet! Lalalala...what rhymes with that? Tralalala?"

He shook her off, and she tumbled back into the ale. "Don't," he said slowly, "EVER call me Cadders."

She looked up from where she was swishing in a small puddle of ale. "But it's cute!!!!! Like Hello Kitty!!! Don't you just LOVE LOVE LOVE that show?"

"Oh, jeez," he said, bending down to scoop her up so he could put her into her room until she was more sensible.

"Hey! I'm FLYYYYYING!"

"No, I'm carrying you."

"How? Oh, with your feet?"

"No, that's my...um...hand..."

"Carried? Like people do when they get married? Are we getting maaaarrriiiieeeeed? 'Cause I just LOVE you, I LOVE you, I really do!"

He stopped and looked at her. He blinked once, twice, then said slowly and clearly, "You...are...severely...drunk."

She giggled and clapped her hands. "Yay! What's that mean?"

He sighed, and continued carrying her to her room, but he stopped and went to the janitors to inform them of the mess. He remembered that Hem had just joined the Lucky Duck Cleaning Crew, so he walked to the office and told him of the mess. It was then that Hem walked out, dressed as...a duck.

Could this day get any wierder?

"Umm...Hem? Why are you wearing a duck suit?"

"I'm part of Lucky Duck Cleaning Crew! Always there to help you clean on time! Duh."

"Oh. Well, then. Anyway, there's been a mess made in the fighting hall: some ale...we didn't mean to..."

Hem nodded. "Let me guess: You two got a little drunk at a party together and..."

"NO! NO! NO! That is sooo not what I meant. We were sword fighting, and I..."

"Yeah, sure, whatever..." Hem winked knowingly and walked out with a mop, his duck-tail waving behind him.

Cadvan sighed in impatience and turned to go.

"Can I have a ducky?" asked Maerad in a small voice.

I think I'm moving to Thorold...

Be patient with me...humor is not my forte...be a constructive critic...please...