Setting- 5th year

Ron and Hermione

First Time

We're both looking for something

That we've been afraid to find

Hermione Granger was always afraid. Always afraid of bad grades, of not having friends, of not being able to keep up in class…but she was afraid mostly of her feelings for her best friend Ron Weasley. She had started to realize her feeling for him in 4th year when she, for some twisted reason, wanted Ron to ask her to the Yule Ball. She had even been disappointed when Viktor Krum asked her, because she had hoped that Ron would ask her. But she realized that Ron wasn't going to oblige to her unspoken plea. He had been completely oblivious to her feelings, and she decided to keep it that way since he did not seem to be looking for the same thing she was.

But now that her fling with Krum was over, Hermione's feelings began to arise in her again. She desperately wanted Ron to notice her every day. She put in extra efforts to make herself look nicer, even putting on make up for a change. She even tried to act nicer toward Ron—well, nicer than usual, considering all they seemed to do during last year was fight. However, Ron was not returning her feelings in any way.

It was during their Astronomy O.W.L. that Hermione realized she couldn't keep her feelings under control anymore. She was standing so close to Ron, who was looking through his telescope at the star-strewn sky, smelling so good, and looking better than usual in his school uniform. They both were extremely tired, as were all their classmates, considering the time. He had a ruffled look about him as he continually checked his telescope and consulted his star chart. Hermione suddenly pulled out of her reverie with a small jump; she had been neglecting her own star chart for 15 minutes because of her persistent staring. Ron looked up at her sudden movement.

"Hey, Hermione, you all right?" he whispered.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine, Ron."

"Okay." And he returned to his chart.

Hermione suddenly looked up. "You know, Ron, I've got something on my mind."

"Right now, Hermione? We're in the middle of an exam."

"Right. Sorry. Didn't mean to bother you. Can we talk later though?"

"Of course, 'Mione. You can talk to me about anything."

In the common room later that night, Ron and Hermione sat next to each other in an overstuffed armchair by the fire.

"So…" Ron said awkwardly. "What was it you wanted to talk about, Hermione?"

"I-I need to talk to you about something that I'm a little scared to talk about. It's about our friendship."

"What's going on with us? I thought we were fine. We haven't even been rowing lately."

"Everything's fine for you, Ron. Just, not quite so much for me."

"What's going on, 'Mione?"

Hermione took a deep breath. Just spit it out, she thought to herself. "Ron, I've liked you for a long time," she said quickly without looking at him. Instead she took to looking at her fingernails. She really needed to work on her nails, she thought. She had horrible nail beds. "And I mean 'like' as in more than friends. I've sort of been feeling this since 4th year."

She finally looked up at Ron, whose face and ears had turned a fiery shade of red. He did not speak. Hermione looked into his eyes and saw a sort of fear there. Those deep blue eyes told her all she needed to know. He was afraid too. She still didn't know if he returned her feelings, though. He might have just been afraid to let her down, reject her, stomp on her heart. He had still not spoken all this time.

Hermione's eyes brimmed with tears. He didn't like her back, she knew he didn't. "Forget I said anything," she said in a choked voice, getting up from her squishy armchair. She headed up to the girls' dormitories. He didn't stop her.

She ran, tears streaming down her burning cheeks, into her room and wept silently into her pillow. She didn't want to feel love for him anymore. She didn't want to show her face in front of him anymore. She was so embarrassed and so hurt.

It's easier to be broken

It's easier to hide

Hermione lay there for what must have been ten minutes. She heard a faint voice at the bottom of the staircase. She looked up hopefully and walked to the steps. But there weren't any steps there anymore. Instead there was a large stone chute. She smiled in spite of herself. Ron was so cute and dumb. He must have forgotten what happened to the stairs every time a boy walked up them to the girls' dormitory. Although how he could forget was beyond her, as the same thing had occurred when he tried to tell her about Umbridge's new, ridiculous Educational Decree.

Ron sat at the end of the chute, obviously having fallen out of it moments before. He looked up at her with the same fear in his eyes. Hermione had to gasp at the shine his bright blue eyes gave off.

Looking at you, holding my breath

For once in my life, I'm scared to death

Hermione asked sharply, "What do you want?"

Ron looked a little taken aback at her sharp tone. "I just wanted to tell you that I realize how much courage it must have taken to tell me that you liked me. I wish I had your bravery."

Hermione glanced up at him to see if he was making fun of her. He looked dead serious.

"I wanted to let you know…that I feel the same way you do. I'm just such a bloody coward. I've always liked you. Do you truly like me?"

Hermione took a deep breath and the words she had been suppressing for the past year finally escaped her lips. "No, Ron. I don't like you." She saw Ron's face fall like an extremely disappointed puppy. "I love you." Ron perked up all of a sudden, and looked really pleased.

"Well…I love you too," he breathed.

Hermione immediately slipped down the chute and landed on top of Ron. "Oof! Sorry!" she whispered.

"It's perfectly okay, 'Mione. I love being so close to you."

That statement took her breath away.

"Let's go somewhere more comfortable, shall we?" he added suggestively.


They walked together to their favorite couch in the middle of the room. Hermione was nervous, and she didn't really know what to do at that point.

"So…" Ron said awkwardly. Funny, she thought. That's how this whole affair started off. She laughed out loud a little.

"What's so funny?" he asked, bewildered. "Is there some dirt on my nose, or something?"

"No, no, nothing like that," she said with a small smile. That's basically where our friendship started off.

Ron shook off his confusion. "So, what should we do now, smarty-pants? I'm no expert in this field."

"Nor am I, Ron."

"Come off it!" He gave her a meaningful look.

"What's that supposed to mean, Ronald?"

He looked as if he was trying to hold his tongue, but after a few moments he burst out, "Krum!"

"Oh my god, Ron! How good you bring up something like that now? That wasn't real. I wasn't in love with Krum."

"Well, I've never been in love with anyone else either," he said softly. Hermione's heart melted at his words.

I'm taking a chance

Letting you inside

"Oh, Ron," she said. She leaned forward and hugged him. He looked surprised, yet pleased. He returned the hug warmly, and when she tried to break away, he held on tighter and kept her there, laying her body next to his on the cozy couch.

Hermione felt a great feeling of security and sleepiness, but felt happy and spirited too. She grinned widely at him, and he mirrored her image. They both felt a weightless happiness. That moment, she knew was the moment she had been dreaming of ever since Ron came out of the Black Lake with Harry and Gabrielle, sopping wet and looking so cute in his bundle of towels and blankets. She lifted herself up a fraction. Ron obviously thought she was trying to escape the hug, but Hermione had no such intention. She quickly looked at his full lips and made a beeline straight for them. And then, Ron and Hermione were kissing, putting all of their pent-up emotion, love, and passion into the very kiss that marked the beginning of their lifelong relationship and bond, the kiss that they shared so lovingly for the first time.

We're feeling alive

All over again

As deep as the sky that's under my skin

Like being in love she says for the first time