Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Disclaimer: I do not own Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, or any of the characters therein, nor the song 'Come Home Soon' sung by SheDaisy. I am only temporarily borrowing them.

Summary: Songfic – Liv is alone again. AO

Reviews welcome, but please be nice.

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The door to the mini-van slammed shut as a six-year-old with two blonde braids ran up the walkway.

"Kate, slow down."

The dark haired woman turned to the curly blonde haired toddler in the car seat and unbuckled her. "She's going to kill herself one of these days." She put the little girl down, and she too took off running after her older sister. "Emmy!" She called after the small child, but then she smiled and shook her head. "Why do I even bother?" The girls sat on the step in front of the door as their mother got the two brown paper bags out of the trunk and let them in the house.

I put away the groceries
And I take my daily bread
I dream of your arms around me
As I tuck the kids in bed

Olivia looked at the girls all safe and tucked into their beds with their little bears and blankets. Kate was six, she might be able to grow up with one or two memories of her other mother, but Emily was only two. There was no way she was going to remember Alex.

She tiptoed into the room and tucked Emily's feet back under her blanket.

"Where momma?"

Olivia's heart broke. How do you explain to a toddler that her parent had left because her life was once again being threatened and that the government had forced her back into Witness Protection?

She kissed the little girl on the forehead and popped her pacifier back into her mouth.

I don't know what you're doing
And I don't know where you are
But I look up at that great big sky
And I hope you're wishing on that same bright star

Tears were streaming down the detective's face. She put on her pajamas and padded over to the window across from her bed – the bed she had shared with the love of her life, the mother of her children for the past eight years. She looked out the window and to the clear sky and bright stars above.

They thought this was all behind them, all the running and hiding. Finally, Alex had said "Enough." She didn't think it was healthy for two young children to be moved every few months and ripped away from school and their friends. They needed security. So when the feds had contacted her about going back into Witness Protection, she went. And all Olivia got was a note.

A note that said she was sorry. Sorry for dragging Olivia into this, sorry for getting the girls involved and sorry for leaving. She had to do what she thought was right. She knew Olivia would follow her to the ends of the earth and back, but she didn't want that for her, or her children. No one knew about the girls, Alex and Olivia had agreed that it was safer that way. So when the feds asked Alex if she believed the cartel to know of anyone else in her family that they might target, she said no. Witness Protection was no place for children. With her leaving, Olivia and the girls could still have a normal life . . . that life just didn't include her.

Olivia crawled into bed, the tears still rolling down her face. One look to the empty space next to her and she lost it. She grabbed Alex's pillow, still holding the smell of her sweet perfume, and she cried and she yelled and she cried some more, until she was utterly exhausted and fell asleep.

I wonder, I pray
And I sleep alone
I cry alone
And it's so hard living here on my own
So please, come home soon
Come home soon

Olivia hugged Kate and than let her run off and play in the park. Picking up a fallen teddy, Olivia pushed Emily in the stroller to a bench with a clear view of the whole park. She picked Emily up and cuddled her close. She and Kate were as close to Alex as she was going to get.

I know that we're together
Even though we're far apart

Olivia sat alone in the living room, listening to the sound of the fire crackling in the fireplace and the rain hitting the windows. Any minute now Kate would come running, scared because of the thunder. Emily would sleep right through it. She was like Alex in the way, actually in most ways.

But for now, it was just her and the fire. She stared into its fiery embrace, getting lost in the colors. Unconsciously, she brought a hand up to the silver teardrop necklace around her neck. Alex had the same one.

And I'll wear our lucky penny
Round my neck, pressed to my heart

She brushed a stray blonde hair away from Kate's face as she tucked her back into her own bed. Then she was back to her own room, back to her own bed, back to her own self and back to her own pillow.

"I can't do this without you Alex."

I wonder, I pray
I sleep alone
I cry alone
And it's so hard living here on my own
So please, come home soon

If she had known the last time she and Alex had made love would be the last . . . she would have savored every touch, leaned into every caress, and prolonged every touch, taste, smell. She would have lived in every moment, and not worried that Kate would walk-in on them or that Emily would jump out of her crib again. She would have hired a sitter, took Alex out, and made it memorable. But it was memorable to Olivia because it was the last memory she had of Alex. When she woke the next morning, she was gone.

I still imagine your touch
It's beautiful missing something that much
But sometimes love needs a fighting chance
So I'll wait my turn until it's our turn to dance

Olivia hung up this year's family picture right next to last year's. The girls were getting so big. She had even bought them a puppy, to help with losing Alex. She was a little red & white Cocker Spaniel Kate had named Ariel. She looked at last year's picture. She was behind Alex, who was sitting on the floor with Emily in her arms, and Kate who was kneeling beside Alex and leaning up against Olivia. They looked – no, they were a happy family. Emily was not quite walking yet and Kate had just turned five, it was a good year.

Then she looked at the picture of the year before that. Emily was only 3 days old, and Kate was 4. She was so proud to be a big sister, you could tell by her smile alone. Alex was so self-conscious about her three-day post-birth belly that Olivia had to be the one holding Emily so that Alex could stand behind her and hide her stomach.

This year's picture was different. The girls were young, they had no idea what was really going on. They sat there, one on each side of the new puppy, with Olivia behind them and looked like they had not a care in the world. But for all intents and purposes, they didn't. Olivia could fake a smile along with the best of them, but there was a sadness in her eyes. And it would probably never go away.

She stepped away from the wall of pictures and then at her two girls in the living room with the puppy. They just weren't a family without Alex.

I wonder, I pray
I sleep alone
I cry alone
Without you, this house is not a home
So please

Olivia sat there among the sea of people waiting for Emily's name to be called. Sixteen years she had raised this young woman by herself and now here they were at her high school graduation. Kate was sitting right next to her, looking about ready to pop with her husband David. Her own little girl was due any day now, and she planned to name her Alexandra after her mother.

Olivia never imagined she would have to do this alone. There was so much that she had wanted to share with Alex. The girls' first lost teeth, first days of big girl school, first dances, first crushes, first dates, graduations and so many other things a child's mother should be there for. The girls had grown up into such wonderful, smart, intelligent woman . . . and she just wanted Alex to see it.

Emily came running over after the ceremony and threw her arms around her mother's neck. "I did it mom."

Olivia choked back a tear. "You sure did sweetie."

I walk alone
I try alone
And I'll wait for
Don't want to die alone

David and Emily were helping Kate to the car and Olivia took one more look around. This was it, another chapter closed. She noticed all the teary faces of many mothers and laughed. For as hard as she tried, she had become one of them. It was good that her girls were growing up, and in the case of the oldest, becoming a mother, but she was never going to have her little girls back. They were the only connections she had left to Alex. When they were younger, they were so much like her. As they got older, they looked more and more like her, but the Alex mannerisms had disappeared. She looked over at both her girls and smiled. It may not have been the ideal situation, but she did a good job.

With one final look, she let the chapter close.

She turned around and almost fainted. There, standing right in front of her, was Alex. The woman she had not seen in sixteen years, and who would probably not know her children from a whole in the wall, except for the fact that they looked just like her.

So please, come home soon

The tears flowed once again as she wrapped her arms around Alex and drew her in as close as two people can get. All was forgotten in that moment, and all was forgiven. That part of her life was closed, and Olivia just wanted to move forward. She pulled away and wiped the tears from Alex's cheeks.

"Would you like to meet our daughters?"

Alex nodded and brought Olivia in for an earth-shattering kiss. A kiss that told everything she needed to know.

Olivia smiled and looked over at the girls, who didn't look as confused as one would expect. She entwined her fingers with Alex's and lead her over to their daughters. "And if things are going as I think they're going, you might meet your granddaughter today too."

Come home soon

Come home soon