Title: Sleight of
Characters: Harry, Murphy
Spoilers: Second City
Summary: Hungry wizards cannot be blamed for their actions.
Author's notes: Written for for a person at my life journal. She wanted stories with donuts in them. Harry/Murphyish.
"Staring at what?"
"Yes, you are."
"You can't even see me."
Murphy turned in her chair from her computer screen and looked down at me. I was sitting on the floor, with my back against a file cabinet in her cubicle. "I can feel you staring at it."
I moved my eyes to the aforementioned pastry. "It's just a donut."
"It's not just a donut," she argued. "It is a donut with white icing and sprinkles on it. It is my favourite kind of donut and every morning I come in and every morning Bunting has taken that donut. I always end up with the jelly donuts. I don't like jelly donuts. Today, however, I have arrived earlier than usual and I have taken that donut for myself. I intend to eat it. So stop staring at it."
I blinked at her. "Wow. I didn't know you felt so strongly about donuts, Murph."
"I'm a cop," she said with a smirk. "They teach it to you at the academy." She turned back to tapping on her keyboard. "How do you spell ceffyl dwf?"
"Like it sounds," I said, tiredly. "Only with more f's and w's in weird places. You aren't really putting it in your report, are you?"
"I keep a file of weird stuff," she explained, tapping some more. "So that if I encounter it again, I know what it is and what to do. If I don't get sent to the crazy house for having all this stuff on my computer in the first place."
"C-E-F-F-Y-L D-W-F," I spelled. I took a look at my shoes, which were sitting next to me on the floor, to see whether they were dry from the dip I'd taken in the Chicago River. Also to see whether they might have mutated and started to plot world domination. They seemed fairly inanimate still. "You know, I'm the reason you're in here this early. Don't you think that warrants at least half - "
"No. Get your own donut."
I squinted at the box across the room and tried to decide if I had enough energy to get up. I didn't. It had been 36 hours since I'd last slept and as soon as Murphy cleared me to go, I intended to take a very long nap. Once I'd taken a very long shower to get all the river water off. The quick one I'd taken in the locker room wasn't cutting it. Growing a third arm might be useful, but I didn't need anything else to make me stand out.
"...weird water horse," Murphy muttered as she typed. "Likes to drown people. Welsh."
"Related to the each uisge," I added. "Which is spelled nothing like it sounds."
I contemplated making a grab for the donut, which was now all the more appealing as a forbidden food. Murphy picked it up and moved it to the other side of the desk. So close, so far away. I sighed and banged my head lightly against the filing cabinet, closing my eyes.
Something bounced off my forehead and I opened my eyes with a start. A ball of rubber bands rolled along the floor away from me. "Wha?"
Murphy was grinning at me. "You were snoring."
"Was not," I objected.
"You've been asleep sitting up for the last fifteen minutes. It was cute until you started snoring," she teased.
"I don't snore," I said, with dignity.
"You were scaring the dog." She jerked her thumb towards Scuffle, the ancient police dog that nobody had the heart to make retire. He'd lifted his head from his nap and was eyeing me with suspicion. Presently, he lay his head back down and returned to his nap. "You can go."
I hauled myself to my feet and stuffed them into my shoes. They didn't try to kill me. I hoped I could get home before the mutation started. They squelched unappealingly.
"Get some sleep," Murphy advised. "And stop looking at my donut."
"I was just thinking it was a very pretty," I defended myself. "...that all sounded sort of kinky, didn't it?"
Murphy swatted at me. I bent down to give her a goodbye hug, which was surprising enough to her. She was even more surprised when I kissed her. She tensed all up and then relaxed. It went on longer than I had planned for. It's really very nice kissing Murphy. I should do it more often.
I straightened up and, true to her word, she didn't slap me this time. Always a good thing when you're done kissing a girl. She gave me a dumbfounded look, and then quickly looked around the squad room to make sure nobody had seen. Just Scuffle, who looked unimpressed.
"See ya, Murph," I said. "Thanks for all your help."
"'Welcome," she said, weakly.
I gave Scuffle a pat as I passed him and headed out to the jeep. I'd just made it out of the squad room when I heard Murphy's 'DRESDEN!' ring out. I grinned and took a bite of the donut, feeling very triumphant. And, not even a little tired.