Disclaimer: We all know that Naruto isn't ours!

Author Notes: Coincidentally, this idea just popped to my head when a group of me and my friends were laughing just randomly, just anything will make us laugh harder. Yes, it was one of those rare times where anything is funny, and then this idea came. I think there are types like this done, I'm not sure, but I wanted to try out how it would feel like. If this is to any dislike or thinks I'm copying (in which I'm not and don't know) and request me to take this down, then I will gladly take this down. I've moved onto another fabolous anime, anyways. REMEMBER: This is just something I wanted to try, I'm a bit reluctant, however. Erhm, depending on the chapters, not this chapter though, there will be some sexual suggestions and cursing on later chapters. But this chapter is Rated T (because of language). Please don't take the impression of my hating Naruto, I love him very much, but he's the only one who can pull off any funny stunts! It's his nature!

Summary: Mission: Seduce the future Uchiha Sakura's heart back after his years of absence...Uchiha style! With help from Naruto and Kakashi, it's bound to be hilariously chaotic .First Attempt: Give Sakura Flowers. Rule # 1 - Never let Naruto choose what flower to give Sakura!


Chapter 1 – Operation: Seduce the Future Sakura Uchiha's Heart


Rule # 1 - Never let Naruto choose what flower to give Sakura

Rule # 2 .- Girls like Flowers that matches them.

First Attempt: Approach Sakura and give Sakura flowers and have a small chat. (In this case, keep Sakura interested by letting her talk about anything she favors)

Uchiha's do not let emotions show.

Uchiha's aren't really a romantic at heart unless alone with their spouse.

Uchiha's don't do any romantic gestures unless men ogle at their woman and is threatened

Not that there is anything to be threatened of. All Uchiha's inherit to-die-for sexy looks.


Screw it. Here stands Uchiha Sasuke, the last of his line, holding flowers. Normally, he wouldn't be holding flowers…however…

He sighed, ran a hand through his black, spiky tresses.

If it's for the girl he likes, he will swallow his pride for her.


"Yes, Sasuke-teme?"

"Who the hell gave you the idea of giving Sakura flowers?"

Naruto rolled his eyes, "Duh! It's, like, one of the obvious methods to catch the girl! In this case, Sakura-chan is like a cherry blossom. Hello, girls like things that they can relate to! And besides –"

And for some unfathomable reason— Sasuke thought this was rather cliché. If he were to list the reasons of choosing Sakura, not that he'd admit anything, of course, his top three were probably:

Sakura is independent (she slaps hands that offer to help when she falls onto the ground--unless female and friends)

Powerful (he had a broken jaw to prove it once he fought against her) and trained under the Hokage.

She knows how to take care of herself when it comes to men. (Usually hears a resounding slap from afar followed by a small explosion of rocks)

He always thought she was unique type of being approached.

"And I've been around Sakura-chan for most of the time and closer to her than any—"


"Err, of course, not close to her that way. She has Ino by her side!"


'Oh, score one for Uzumaki Naruto for diverting the situation!' He grinned giddily to himself.

The Uchiha rolled his eyes and scanned the green hills for his female companion. He knew how Sakura would like spending her time with nature. She'd always be resting against the tree after training somewhere around there…then his sharp eyes narrowed caught sight of her...

…with a Hyuuga. Neji Hyuuga.

"…Oh fucking, hell no! I don't want my death to be caused by an accident by a Uchiha and Hyuuga for a girl! If I die, I'd want Hinata-chan to have all my ramen stocks in memory—"

He had to admit, the Hyuuga's were always powerful, just always second to the Uchiha's.

Black orbs narrowed into slits when white eyes smugly smirked at him.

He crushed the flowers in his one hand.

"It took me forever to climb those stingy trees with those damn killer squirrels that ripped my clothes to get those flowers-!"

Oh, this is now personal.






Rule # 3 – Never, ever, go after what an Uchiha wants.






Only the Hyuuga's were capable of having an almost standard par with an Uchiha.

Except when it came to love. That was another matter.

Sasuke's thoughts were distracted when he heard laughing.

"Ehehehehehehe, Sasuke bastard just got upstaged by a simple chat by Neji-!"

He drove his leg backwards and aimed precisely between Naruto's legs.

Immature, maybe, but works like a charm.

The blonde's hands immediately went towards his precious jewels. Gritting his teeth, "Oh! Fucking…jealous bastard…"

He arrogantly smirked at his distress when Naruto double-over, his face scrunched up in thought of ways of killing a Hyuuga and Uchiha in one go and his lips puckered inwards to his mouth, letting out a girlish grunt and crumbled to the ground.

Hmph, serves dead-last right.

Never provoke an Uchiha.

He set his eyes back to Sakura, admiring the way her face glowed when she laughed melodically. The way she tucked a loose pink strand from her face with her small, yet dangerous, hands.

Now if only that was directed towards him.

He looked down, a fierce glare towards the blonde when Naruto started giggling like a school girl, his hands still clutching his almost broken honor, at his failure before he even approached her. Sasuke rolled his eyes before grinning maliciously at him.

'Oh no... Sasuke bastard never smiles like that! Is this what I get?! Helping Sasuke-teme to get Sakura-chan's heart?! Helping Hinata-chan with her training? Accidentally hanging Akamaru over a pit of crocodiles for eating all my ramen? Blowing up part of the Hokage's tower just because Kiba was chasing me of harming his excuse-of-a-furball-'

"Katon: Hōsenka no Jutsu!"

'Oh crap!'





Satisfied for letting out a bit of his anger, Sasuke let out a deep breath. With a new set of determination, the raven-haired carefully planned of how to get rid of Hyuuga by her side. He'd do it physically if it weren't for Sakura's gentle nature ((sometimes)) against violence when it comes to her.

Something to distract him.

Something that's important to a Hyuuga…

He looked down at the very dark, orangeish color skin, spiky burnt crisps of hair. Sasuke took a few steps forward, accidentally stepping over his fingers—

"Fucking jackass! My fingers-!"

Crack, crack, crack!!


---someone precious to the elite family.

Sasuke focused his dark orbs where Sakura carefully used her soft hands to outline the bark of a tree, she admired while her mouth spoke in soft tones, her eyes half-lidded when she concentrated on one of her favorite hobbies..

Her emerald eyes caught his.

She gave him a genuine smile and small wave. He nodded in acknowledgement.

He hastily turned away, grabbing the back of the weeping blonde's collar and dragged him away. The determined, teenager Sasuke missed her confused gaze.

"I've always admired nature. It's such a shame that they are taking down trees for expanding Konoha. Tsunade-sama is against it, of course, and is having a meeting that if they are going to expand Konoha, then we will be more vulnerable with such a vast land. And how about training grounds, right Neji-san?"


She grinned, looking up at the falling leaves and sighed, "I wonder if we'll be able to go to another mission, soon. It's getting kind of tiring just training-"

Neji always paid attention to the pink-haired beauty. He only approached her because he was silently observing her from afar. Now was a perfect oppurtunaity to-


His silver eyes caught something.

Is that the dead-last ((who looked like he visited the sun)) flirting with a red-faced Hinata-sama?

"Hey, isn't that Naruto and Hinata? Aww! Isn't that sweet? At last, Naruto finally noticed-"

He got up.

"Excuse me, Sakura-san. I must go attend an engagement."

Confused, she nodded.

She laughed when Naruto finally caught sight of the fuming Hyuuga and made mad dash, limping slightly, away with Neji hot on his heels.

Sakura frowned slightly.

'I thought it was a good thing for Hinata.'


Her back tensed then slowly relaxed when a familiar scent hit her nose. She turned, a bit confused at his blank gaze directed to her, "Sasuke-kun. How nice seeing you here."

Sasuke nodded, staring at her a bit before sitting on the ground in front of her. It had been awkward because she had been obviously avoiding him ever since his return...she cleared her throat.

"Hey, Sasuke-kun. Did you just see Neji-san going after Naruto? I'm a bit worried for him…" she thought for a while "Naruto looked…like he got a deep tan in such a short amount of time…"


"I hope he's alright…"


She squirmed a bit.

He was studying her.

Sakura was about open her mouth when he stood.

She raised one elegant eyebrow when he reached towards a tree and plucked a small flower."Sasuke-kun?"

He looked straight at her eyes before turning away, his hand outstretched with a simple white flower presented to her. Sakura smiled brightly, flattered, "Oh, Sasuke-kun! Thank you! You know when I get flowers, it's usually cherry blossoms because it supposedly matches me. It's a bit sweet, but I think it's cliché, because, honestly-"

Sasuke smugly smirked and leaned back as she talked away.





From afar, Naruto grinned. It was worth getting burned, his beautiful blonde hair spikes were slightly cut, his fingers crooked, his prized possesion in danger of being extinct and getting chased by Hyuuga was all worthwhile watching Sakura beaming.

And he had the extra laughs for watching Sasuke trying hard. And it was only the beginning!

"Hakke Kusho!" (Eight Trigrams Empty Palm!)

Oh crap.

"Have mercy, Hyuuga!"

On the other hand, maybe not.


First Step: Complete

Success Rate: Satisfactory. (She smiled, happy of his simple flower given to her.)

Progress: Just begun.

((Scratch Rule # 2))


This story is gonna be drabbles of Sasuke, in funny ways with the Konoha guys, especially Naruto, help Sasuke. At least, try to. If there are any suggestions feel free to tell me through your reviews!
Second Attempt: Dress to Impress.

Rule # 4 - Keep safety lock on closet.

"Asshole…what did you do to my clothes?"

"Ohohohoho, Sasuke-bastard! This is revenge!"

"Yo, my old students-"

"Old man, you fool people with your 30 year old look when you're actually-!"

"Hey, I beg to differ when I'm actually…!" -glance- "Oh dear, Sasu-chan. That is a very ghastly…attire. Are you going to try to impress Sakura like that?"