Here's another song parody while I wait for my Hogwarts Blog plot bunny to come back. If you've never heard the VeggieTales song "The Hairbrush Song," go onto YouTube and listen to it! You'll at least know the tune...
Our scene opens on Voldemort, who has just stepped from the shower. As he ties a towel around his waist, he suddenly realizes his hairbrush is missing! Startled, Voldemort cries out:
VOLDEMORT: Oh wheeeeeeeere is my hairbrush? Oh wheeeeeere is my hairbrush? Oh where oh where oh where oh where oh wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere is my hairbrush?
Hearing Voldemort's cries, Lucious Malfoy enters the scene. Shocked and rather embarrassed at the sight of Voldemort in a towel, Lucious says:
LUCIOUS: I think I saw your hairbrush back theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere!
Lucious flees the scene. Encouraged, Voldemort sings:
VOLDEMORT: Back theeeeeeeeeeeeeere is my hairbrush! Back theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere is my hairbrush! Back there back there back there back there back theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere is my hairbrush!
Hearing her beloved master's cries, Bellatrix Lestrange enters the scene. Surprised but quite pleased at the sight of Voldemort in a towel, Bellatrix cries out:
BELLATRIX: Master you're really hot, even without any hair!
Bellatrix runs off, giggling like a lunatic. Voldemort grins at her compliment, but it quickly fades as the truth of it sinks in.
VOLDEMORT: No haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaair for my hairbrush? No haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaair for my hairbrush! No hair no hair no hair no hair no haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaair for my hairbrush!
Voldemort mourns silently for a moment before, urged on by his parents, Draco Malfoy enters the scene. Shocked and deeply disturbed at the sight of Voldemort in a towel, Draco stammers:
DRACO: Master...that old hairbrush of yours...well, you never use it, you don't really need it so...please don't kill me, I didn't know! But I gave it to Hermione...'cuz she's got HAIR.
Covering his face with both hands, Draco runs off to rinse his eyes. Voldemort is stunned. His hairbrush...given to a Mudblood? By one of his own Death Eaters, no less! Just then, Hermione enters the scene. Shocked and angered that a Mudblood would have the audacity to appear before him in her dressing gown, Voldemort waits for her to explain herself. Hermione, shocked and deeply disturbed at the sight of Voldemort in a towel, takes a moment to gather her wits before speaking.
HERMIONE: Thanks for the hairbrush.
Dodging Voldemort's Killing Curse, Hermione runs off to rinse her eyes. After a moment, Voldemort has come to terms with the arrangement.
VOLDEMORT: Take caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare of my hairbrush! Take caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare of my hairbrush! Take care take care take care take caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare of my hairbrush!