A/N: So... this is my first crackfic. I've decided that I've written enough angst and spread enough misery around the world, so I decided to write something funny. More for experimental purposes than anything else. I hope you like it. : )
Disclaimer : Don't own Naruto. Do own a pink bra, though. XD
Sakura stared at the total scene of destruction in front of her eyes. The sandstorm had passed, and it had left her backyard in a hell lot of mess.
Her clothesline had collapsed, and her clothes were strewn all over the place, most probably getting sanded and soiled and wrinkled, after all that time she'd spent washing them. It looked like she would have to wear her medic outfit for the next few days.
Inwardly cursing, she began the onerous task of locating various items of clothing from various unimaginable places. Beneath a heavy rock, wrapped around one of the pillars of the building. And what the hell was her favorite pair of knickers doing on top of the roof, for all to see?
After retrieving her clothing, she dug through the soiled items, examining each of them to see if they were all there. She sighed with relief.
Well, that seems to be all of it… Wait. What happened to my bra? My favorite pink bra??
Panicking slightly, she tramped around the house in search of it, but to no avail. In the end, sweating profusely and panting heavily, her gaze was inevitably drawn to the brick wall that separated her quarters from the Kazekage's…
No. Hell, no.
But she'd found her nightshirt there, on the wall, and had murmured a silent prayer of thanks to whatever deity that was listening that it hadn't gone over to the Other Side.
If it had been any other item of clothing, she would not have bothered. But it was her pink bra, the one she wore during her dates for extra good luck. The pink bra was a source of comfort to her, and she'll be damned if she would let a little embarassment get in the way.
Weelll… a little peek won't hurt…
Walking as quietly as she could towards the brick wall, she hastily scaled it, peeking over to the other side just in case someone was there.
It was clear. She breathed a sigh of relief.
The breath froze in her throat when she spotted it. Her pink bra, dangling innocently on one of the Kazekage's treasured rose bushes.
She couldn't exactly knock on their door and ask for it, could she? She had a mental picture of herself explaining to a very amused Temari about how important her pink bra was to her, and shuddered. Not gonna happen. But if she just left it there…
She winced as she imagined Gaara finding it there, on his prized rose bush.
But if she just crept in, grabbed her bra, and leaped out, all very very quickly, no one ever had to know.
She realized how ridiculous she must look, dangling on the brick wall while formulating a plan to snatch her bra back. She checked both ways again, saw no one, and made her decision.
Scaling the wall, she leaped over nimbly and landed silently on both her feet. She darted a quick look around before sprinting as fast as she could, towards the rose bush.
The pinkness swam enticingly in her vision. Just a few more meters to go…
"What are you doing here, Haruno?"
She froze. And then, very, very slowly, turned to face the speaker.
Sabaku no Gaara stood in front of her, his arms folded, his face impassive as usual. She almost fainted.
He spoke again. "Why are you here, medic?"
Sakura's hand went automatically to her hair, and she grinned sheepishly. "Ahh… I- umm… er…" She could feel the wheels in her head turning furiously as she cast around for something- anything that could give her an excuse to get herself out of this awkward predicament.
"You see, err…" She stammered, grinning frantically, while the Kazekage glared at her impatiently. "I, err, I was, umm, looking for …kumquats! Yeah! I was looking for kumquats! They're small, kinda orange, and good for your health, so I just thought I would try and see if you guys had any back here, but obviously you don't, haha, so I guess I'll just skedaddle back to my side of the wall…"
And with that, she turned and sprinted back towards the red brick wall.
Suspicious green eyes surveyed her as she stood frozen to the spot, her eyes fixed on the ground. Do not look at your bra, she willed herself silently. Do not look at your bra…
"I will not ask again. What are you doing here?"
Sakura glanced up to meet the emotionless eyes of Gaara. God, he must think I'm trying to assassinate him or something… I am so dead.
But on second thought, death was preferable to the embarrassment of Gaara, the Godaime Kazekage, seeing her pink brassiere.
Do not look at your bra do not look at your bra do not look at your bra…
Nevertheless, she failed dismally. She couldn't resist sneaking a small, quick look at her pink brassiere, still fluttering harmlessly on the rose bush. And he caught her looking.
Swifter than the wind, sand rose up from the ground and brought to him the offending item.
Oh God. Someone kill me now.
Holding it up in one hand, Gaara examined her bra curiously. Then he turned his attention back to her.
"Haruno Sakura. What. Is this."
She could feel her face flaming, and knew that she looked more like a tomato in comparison with Hinata.
"Err… I err…"
Then she caught sight of him as he held her bra up, his expression bemused. Sudden anger flared in her. Why the fuck couldn't he leave her and her bra alone?
She'd had enough of him.
"It's a piece of clothing," she managed, inwardly boiling with fury. "And it happens to be mine. May I have it back now?" Pointedly, indicating that she wasn't very happy with the way he regarded her bra like it was a piece in a museum.
"Hn. A piece of clothing? And just where does it go on?"
Sakura could feel herself blushing furiously, but damn it, she refused to be defeated by him.
"It's worn by females such as myself, here." She patted her breasts for emphasis. "Now may I have it back?"
Wordlessly, Gaara handed it back to the flaming kunoichi. She stalked off in high dudgeon, her head held high and proud. As he watched her retreating back, he let the satisfied smirk he'd been holding in slip over his face.
Who ever said that he didn't have fun?
A/N: Whew! It was easy and fun to write, I look forward to writing more in the future. I'm not sure if I do it well, tell me if I don't and I won't write anymore. Because I obviously suck. Even if I am a fan of Terry Pratchett. But I really hope you liked it, so I can write some more:P
Anyway, tell me what you think.