AN is at the bottom this time round :)
CHAPTER NINE - ETERNAL
After the funerals of L and Watari, the investigation continued, with Light becoming the new L. The world was unaware of what had happened, and indeed, most of the investigation team still did not fully understand. They probably never would.
After a few weeks, Soichiro decided that the time had come to approach his son. The rest of the team had discussed it, and they all felt it was right, since L and Light had seemed so close. Light had showed so much grief at his passing that their friendship could not be disputed. Only Matsuda offered nothing to the conversation. He knew what he knew, but he was also aware that it was the wrong time to reveal it. L was in the ground. There could be no reason for him to tell them what he knew. It was some comfort to him to know that L could trust him with this, even in death.
So, with heavy heart, Soichiro approached Light one afternoon, and handed him a key on a small ring. "Son," He said, "It is time for you to clear out L's things."
Light stared down at the key in his hand for a while, unreadable emotions passing across his face. Eventually he lifted his head and met his father's eyes, and simply nodded, and that was enough.
The rest of the team avoided Light for the rest of the day. They had learned to understand the blank look on his face, the way he would pause midway through typing and stare at the screen as if unaware of what it said. For weeks now, ever since the funeral, he had been like this, distant and cold and sad. They were sure he would get better with time, especially with Misa by his side, but it was clear that he had been deeply affected by L's death.
Matsuda watched him as he left the offices early, to go to L's old place. It made him sad, too, when he saw Light like this, because he alone of the whole team knew why he was so upset. He knew of their secret love and, like the romantic that he was, it brought a tear to Matsuda's eye to think of a love cut so terribly short. Of course, even he could never guess the bitter truth, that L had died by Light's own hand, keeping his secret identity in utter faithfulness right up until his death. That was true love. There had been no desire in L to reveal Light as Kira, to shame him, to make sure he would lose by telling the team just when he thought he had won. Things between them had gone too far for that.
Light unlocked the door of the empty apartment and entered, feeling trepidation as to what he would find. The rooms inside were dusty. He saw with little surprise that L did not even own a bed. The place was full of high-tech equipment and locked drawers, and everything was coated with a fine sheen of the dust that had had no one living to disturb it in over a month.
He walked through the rooms, briefly looking each one over, and decided to start in what seemed to have been L's private miniature investigation centre. He wished he had known the L that lived here, alone, with Watari just next door if he ever needed him. He wished he had come here while L was alive, and seen him in this environment, which even now had a decisively unique air about it, as if no one other than L could ever live there.
He turned around in the centre of the room, sighing. He took his phone out of his pocket and turned it off, not wanting to be disturbed by anyone, especially not Misa. It was her who had driven him to this. God, how he wished he could kill her. But she was necessary to him, and her life would be short anyway; she had made deals with the Shinigami one too many times.
As he looked back up, something out of place caught his eye - an envelope, resting against one of the monitors, neatly nestled in between it and the keyboard. Frowning, he picked it up, and read the name on the front.
Rather than read it there and then, he walked through to what seemed to be some sort of lounge, though a bizarre one. There was one two-seater sofa, one chair, one table. One large surveillance deck, filled with different screens and control panels. Light took a seat on the sofa and slowly, carefully opened the letter. He recognised the handwriting already. It was L's, of course. A bitter longing welled up in him as he considered that this could have been the last thing L wrote. He read it slowly, savouring every word, every stroke of the pen.
This is L. If you are reading this, there is a ninety-five percent chance that I am dead. If, however, I am not dead, and you are reading this because of the five percent chance that you will break into my home when I am not around, please stop reading now. Thank you.
So. I am dead, and you have killed me. Don't be surprised. You are supposed to be intelligent. Of course I knew that you would kill me. That is why I have made sure you will be caught.
You thought you were free, didn't you? Well, here is one last message from L to Kira: you have lost. I may be dead, but my heirs are not. Since I am dead, Watari is too, and thus all the files you could have used to find them are irretrievably lost to you. You will not find them. They will find you. Each of them was a prime candidate to be L, and now there are three Ls and only one Kira. They will discover you, and they will be the death of you. I swear this. The percentage is ninety-nine point nine percent, Kira. Do you dare to risk that nought point nought one of a chance? Now that I am dead they will chase you not for justice, but for vengeance, and for glory. With your death a new L will emerge, your destroyer. I look forward to it.
Now that Kira has had his message, do not stop reading. The rest of this letter is for Light Yagami.
Allow me to speak frankly, if I may. I have always known that you would kill me. From the second I realised my love for you I also realised my fate. When I walked into your bedroom and confessed my feelings, I was fully aware of the consequences of my actions. There was no doubt in my mind as to what would happen. It was as plain to me as the love written all over your face, even though you could not see it yourself. You are lucky that I could, Light-kun. You should be grateful. Without my sacrifice, we could never have been together.
Which leads me on to this. I love you, Light-kun. I do not care that you have broken my heart, in the most literal of senses. I do not care for the loss of my body or my physical presence; as I have told you, such a detective as I must die young. No, I no longer care for that. All I wish is that you had given us more time. The best days of my life were spent chained to you, Light-kun. I long to return to those days, but it cannot be done.
We can never return to what we were. I am glad I do not have to live to see you marry Misa, or fall for someone else. That would truly break my heart. I hated her. So dumb and blonde and pretty and female. Why did you keep her near you? Why did you not just kill her? And now she has pushed you to this. She killed us, just as surely as you killed me. Yes, I am bitter. I think I have a right to be.
But I will not waste my words on her. Instead, think of this: remember the last day we spent together in chains, before all of this happened. Weren't we happy then, Light-kun? Weren't we free? I like to think so. Thank you, Light-kun, for the best day of my life.
My final message to you is this. I do not forgive you for slaughtering millions of people. I do not forgive you for believing you are a god. I do not forgive you for choosing Misa, and your power, over me. But I do forgive you for killing me.
Light Yagami, I wait for you. Perhaps, when you die, as you fall into the nothingness that the Shinigamis promised you, just for a second our spirits may meet and our hands may brush once again. That is what I will wait for.
Light let the sheets of paper fall from his hands to the floor. The black letters were already shifting and blurring, melting away under the force of his tears. He lifted his head, sobbing uncontrollably, and raised his hands to his face.
"Oh god, L…" He murmured. "What did I do to you? What did I do to us?"
He swept the letter up again and re-read it, his eyes pausing on a certain line. I love you, Light-kun. He clasped the letter to his chest, to his heart, emotion pouring through him. Finally, through great gasping sobs, he squeezed his eyes shut.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry!" He cried out, hoping that wherever he was, L would hear him. "And I love you!"
Outside the window, rain began to softly fall, and Light turned his head to look at it. It seemed to him that L had heard, and he was crying, too, and he just wanted Light to know.
"I love you." He whispered again.
Phew. It's all over at last.
While writing this, I was listening to 30 Seconds to Mars acoustic tracks from MTV live O..O They're so good, and haunting. Especially The Kill, and The Story. And Was It A Dream?. So, all of them XD They just fit this ending well, is all.
Anyway, so now that it's finished there are some things to say:
1. Please go vote on my poll, on my profile :) I can't decide what to write, y'see…
2. Look at the first letter of each chapter title. Notice anything special? ;)
3. THANK YOU to everyone who read and reviewed, watched, or favourited this, especially those who were here for every chapter. You made me update quicker, see :D and as you probably know yourselves, reviews are like food for a starving author… om nom nom…
Now, nothing much left… except to say I hope you enjoyed it! Oh yes, and sorry about L dying and all… I have to say it was my personal least favourite part D:
And a final thank you for the reviews from Anonymous Sister of the Author, Sasune-Uchiha, Quarter Queen, Shadow-L-Chan, The Carnivorous Muffin, Oztan, Shadowindesire, TwoSightsOfJustice, fouloldron, How-to-die-swiftly, Aria, Fantabulous, and Jinsane226.
See you next time!