Dedicated to DMH I literally wrote this while I was talking to her...so it's for her. Hope you like it hun...MapleTree.
Warnings...not a whole lot. This is Slash...don't like? Don't read. Not holding a gun to your head here. Flame? I'll find you..bad things will happen...nuff said.
Not my ppl...I've borrowed them (many a time) not making money...blah blah blah. Happy Readings!!! Please review!!
I was lost I think.
Not in the traditional sense of the word,
Not 'I can't find my mother',
Or 'Where is that blasted road sign?!'
I think I was the worst kind of lost.
Where you don't even know your missing at all.
No one ever tells you anything about that though.
No one ever says...
"This is how you know your no complete."
"This is when you know your missing out on an important part of your life."
I guess you're just supposed to know.
But you never do...
Not until you find what it is you didn't even realize what you were looking for.
And then suddenly,
They ---who never told you anything of any great importance---were right.
Colors are brighter.
And sounds are more beautiful.
And everything is just all around...more.
The fact though that it was you...
You of all people...
That made me realize the world could be more...
Could hurt less,
and comfort more...
Was mind boggling.
Still is in fact.
We were never friends...
But then again I don't think we ever could be...
Not until after anyway...
What I had been working my whole life for...was over.
My purpose served and though people still seemed to like me...I felt...less.
The first initial hint something was...wrong in my life.
Now I had always known not everything was right...
But that I didn't feel something after the defeat of someone that had been plaguing me my whole life was far more wrong then I cared to admit.
People noticed of course...
"Are you okay?"
"Are you feeling well?"
And several other questions pertaining to my health...
My response was always the same,
I think there was one question that was asked...something along the lines of, "Why is it you seem so distant all of the sudden?"
And I answered with my paton "Yes...and you?"
I think people stopped asking me questions after that.
Well you never asked much of anything...
Just pushed your way into a conversation and dropped any old thing that came out of your pretty snide mouth.
"You look like shit." You commented and just as my normal response was about to come out, what you said caught up with me.
"Fuck you!" I snapped.
You smirked and that was how my slow descent back to earth began...
It was you.
Time passed... You greeted me everyday with the same words...
I hated that.
That you always said I looked like shit...
So I started to work more at my appearance.
I showered everyday, and shaved, and put on cologne...
And I enjoyed it.
I liked taking care of me for a change.
I went out and got a new wardrobe.
I considered them a wall of comfort which is why I didn't rid myself of them...but I got new, more fashionable ones.
You noticed it.
At least I think you did...
Your comments on how bad I looked became less vulgar.
From shit, to crap, to terrible, to one day when you finally said I looked good.
And imagine my surprise when you smiled back.
I swear...my heart stopped...
Never had I seen anything like that before.
It was...in short...beautiful.
I think what made it so beautiful was that it rarely graced your face.
I swore in that moment I would do my best to see it everyday.
And I did.
Every single day.
We started to talk...
I think you even asked how I was...once.
But somehow I think you knew that I was asked that question constantly so you never asked it again.
We met at the same place every day...at the same time...and we picked up on whatever conversation we had been having the day before, like we never left each other.
We never said hello...or goodbye.
I asked you once why that was...
You said it was silly to say goodbye.
Told me that goodbye was some sort of finality...
"And I don't intend to say goodbye to you anytime soon."
I kissed you after that.
Shot forward and pressed my lips to yours and imagine my surprise when you kissed me back...
Kissed me back, like you were a starving man and I was your last meal.
That was it.
I felt the shift.
The world was more...
Colors were brighter.
And sounds more beautiful...
And just like they said...everything was more.
It's been five years, since that first kiss...
And a lot has happened.
We still fight.
About nearly everything…
From the colors of the walls in our house,
To what we will eat.
But we love each other…
Yes we love each other…
So much more.