Comfortably numb

It turned blue!

It was a Monday morning just like any other; Ianto was first in and was busy making coffee and breakfast for Jack and the team. Tosh was next in followed by Gwen, and then Martha followed dragging Owen by the collar as he objected. Everyone was sat down to eat except for Jack who unusually for him hadn't joined them, Ianto was concerned so once he was finished with the others he poured up Jack's coffee and was going to find him when he entered the room.

"Good morning Sir I was just about to bring..." Ianto was cut off as Jack took one look at his coffee and raced to the nearest bin were he then threw up.

"I don't feel so hot Ianto" wined Jack as Ianto emergently took his place at Jack's side, checking Jack's temperature he found it was normal.

"Owen Jack's not got a fever but..." Ianto was cut off again as Jack threw up again.

"I'm fine" growled Jack as Owen came over and he stomped off in a huff to his office.

An hour latter Jack was still hurling up his guts, it took all four members of the team to drag Jack down to autopsy to be examined. Owen did every test he could think of but it was the results that confused him more, something in Jack's DNA was different to everyone else and then their was the high levels of oestrogen that shouldn't have been there at all. Then he remembered something that Jack had once said;

'Here you go, I can taste it. Oestrogen, definitely oestrogen. You take the pill, flush it away, it enters the water cycle, feminises the fish. Goes all the way up into the sky then falls all the way back down on to me. Contraceptives in the rain! Love this planet! Still, at least I won't get pregnant, never doing that again.'

Owen didn't know if he should take Jack seriously? Or that he was about to do this? But he did, going to his kit he pulled out a pregnancy test and sent Jack to pee on it. Everyone looked at Owen as if he'd grown another head; Jack returned with a groan and threw the test at Owen.

"Owen are you crazy or something?" yelled Gwen as Owen held the test.

"Yeah well it's the only test I've not...HOLY SHIT IT'D TURNED BLUE" yelled Owen as a sudden thump, everyone turned round to see Ianto flat out on the floor. Jack groaned as he lay back down on the autopsy table.

Once Ianto had come round he headed down to be with Jack, holding his hand Ianto took a seat next to him with a smile.

"Did you know Jack? Did you know I was going to be a father?" asked Ianto as he looked at Jack who suddenly couldn't look him in the face. Fidgeting with his shirt Jack suddenly felt bad.

"Well not exactly..." said Jack as he looked Ianto in the eyes and cringed

"Jack what do you mean?" growled Ianto

"Well I'm not long pregnant; since we've only just officially gotten together it could be yours..."

"Or who's?" demanded Ianto

"The Doctor and I slept together as a parting of ways; he knew I was coming back to you for good. The Master was the other but..." Jack's face changed as he spoke

"but know that I didn't consent to that" sighed Jack as Ianto pulled him close, everyone watched Jack and Ianto while Martha disappeared briefly then returned to the celebrations.