Disclaimer: All recognizable characters are the sole property of Stephenie Meyer. The situation however, belongs to me.

Kiss Me

I'd never felt more like an idiot in eighty years.

It was just an instrument! I'd mastered the piano…why should the guitar be any different?

I have no idea what'd made me say it. I was just holding her. We were listening to some song on the radio. I wasn't paying attention, as she'd buried her face in the crook of my neck, and the sensation was fabulous. Any sensible thought had already left my mind, because her hand had reached up, and started idly playing with my hair.

"Mmm…." She murmured, and the feel of her breath against my skin was ecstasy. "I love this song."

I stopped for a minute. It was a simple acoustic piece. A popular song with cute lyrics.

"So kiss me….So kiss me….So kiss me……."

The final chords faded away.

"I can play that."

I'm still not sure what made me say it. Maybe it was the constant urge to impress her…make it seem as though I wasn't as useless as I was sure I was. She lifted her head to look at me, and my neck felt suddenly freezing.

"You can play the guitar?"

Her hands were idly brushing against the skin of my chest. I couldn't think.


So after she went home, and I rushed forth to find a guitar store in Port Angeles, buying a guitar.

I figured I would start by learning the simple sounding song she'd said she loved on the radio.

And I realized I had no idea where to start.

After a few minutes of debating, I finally pulled up an internet page on my laptop, surfing through Google, wondering how I was going to do this.

Apparently, there were people who listened to songs and took the time to figure out how to play them, and then post them online, in the form of words and little letters on top of them. I wondered idly what "Capo Third" meant.

Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight

Lead me out on the moonlit floor

Lift up your open hand

Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance

Silver moon's sparkling………………..So Kiss me

What is a C supposed to be? What does CM7 mean? What the hell is a Gsus4/B?!

I backed up a little bit, going back to Google and looking a little bit harder. Just as there were chords, there were some gracious people who wrote the music out in the form of a tab, where they told you where each finger was supposed to be placed.

I smiled. This was suddenly so much easier. I had the music, now all I had to do was play it for her.

I placed my fingers where it said to in the tab, and strummed for a minute.

So this is a C. Easy enough.

I moved on to the CM7….taking a minute to find the right places, and then pressing my fingers down and finding that it was the same as the last chord, without having my index finger on the second to top string.

Okay. I moved on to the next chord, and the next, and the next. I smiled. This was so easy.

And now that I'd played each separate chord, I decided that I should try to play it all at once now.

I began strumming the C, and I paused, removing my hand and trying to find the CM7…forgetting to simply lift my index finger.

I started over. It must be perfect. I must be able to play it without any pauses.

-Twenty Minutes Later-

"Stupid worthless piece of—"

The guitar crashed through the glass, the shatter drowning out my words as I watched the guitar fly down two stories, and then smacking into the ground on its back—amazingly and impossibly remaining intact.

I stared down at it in shock, wondering if I'd purchased a demon guitar, before hearing a snicker from behind me.

I wheeled around seeing tiny Bella, snickering from behind her palm. I suddenly tensed in horror. What would she say? Would she realize how terrible I am? Would she seek out a better man?

She walked over to me, however, wrapping her arms around my waist and whispering, "Thank you."

I stared down at her in shock, wondering if she'd lost her mind.

When I didn't say anything, she continued. "Thank you, for going through all of the trouble in trying to please me, and for proving to me that there really is something you're terrible at."

I looked at her in shock and shame, not saying anything.

She reached up, and kissed my lips.

Any sane thought was, once again, lost.

When I first started to play guitar, Kiss Me by Sixpence None the Richer was the first song I tried to learn. It is a very simple song…but it moves fast. For a beginner, it's hard to get your fingers to the right places in time. It's more of an intermediate song than a novice one. It was the song that kicked my ass. It was very frustrating, and made me feel pretty stupid, lol. So I revisited it later, after I'd learned how to read chords, and tried playing it again. I was amazed I ever thought it was hard.

It's a very fun song.

This is very OOC, but that's the point. This whole one-shot was just for kicks, and a big, giant inside joke. A few of you that know me might get the inner-punchline. This is pre-New Moon, before poor Edward learns that he's awful at tracking.

You can find the full tab on ultimate-guitar . com