Disclaimer: ST: VOY is not mine.
By mistress amethyst une
I have to watch it happen.
I have no choice.
She's lying in his arms dying while I look on feeling like an intruder.
I've watched him like this before.
He was weeping that time.
Pounding on her chest willing her heart to beat.
Desperately blowing into her mouth and urging her to breathe.
Screaming her name telling her she couldn't die as he held her knowing she was gone.
That was when I had died in his arms.
Of course, I wasn't really dead.
At the time, I thought I was afloat.
A consciousness ripped from its body.
I was forced to watch myself die.
I later found out it was all a wicked trick.
An image projected by a being who wanted to consume my soul by convincing me I had perished in my first officer's arms…
Maybe that evil creature just used my thoughts to paint a picture of how I thought Chakotay would react if I died.
I was egotistical.
He would never have been that passionate upon my death.
I look at the way he holds his wife.
He just sits there holding her, not saying a word.
Tears silently trickling down his face.
No loud sobbing.
If he lacks that passionate reaction toward the demise of the woman he married, I can only imagine how he would regard my death.
Probably just carry my body straight to the morgue without shedding a single tear.
Yes, I've become bitter.
He chose her over me.
And why the hell not?
Blonde and busty.
How could he not want her?
I almost laugh.
A few months ago the question was different.
How could he want her?
Tainted by the borg technology he so despised.
And now I know the answer…
Because she was there.
She accepted him.
She wanted him.
She expressed her desire.
Even my former borg protégée was better than me at going after what would make her happy.
I kept my self in the gilded cage that was my captaincy.
Oh, it hurt having to marry them to each other but it was a duty that had to be done.
I chose duty over happiness.
I never thought I could be so stupid.
He was right to choose her.
At least she made him happy if only for a little while…
I'm not completely oblivious.
His gaze always drifts back to me.
I can feel his yearning in the air whenever we're together.
But there's nothing left for us now.
All hope for us will die with her.
I will not insult her memory by allowing myself to love him now.
I should have let myself love him a long time ago but now it's too late.
I had so many chances but I threw them all away.
I force myself to continue watching them.
She's conscious but we know she'll be gone soon.
I watch her as she stirs a bit and drags his head down to whisper in his ear.
What could she be telling him?
Probably that she loves him…
I only wish I had that privilege.
I fall to my knees as I see her slacken in his arms.
His silent tears continue as I begin to sob.
Both Kathryn and Seven died that day.
And the man we both loved just sat there with tears silently trickling down his face…
Author's Note: Sequel to Kiss Me Goodbye was mildly stuck. Jumpstarted the muse with this… Thanks for the beta, GH! Yes, it's Kathryn's POV on Seven's death. I hope this goes well with Diamond and Coal (Chakotay's POV) and Caught in the Middle (Seven's POV). And now it's back to work on my sequel…