From chapter three this story has been beta'd :)

A/N This is my first DS fic so let me now if you like it. It is going to be set in Chicago like the book is (even though the book is a complete different story to the film. Tbh the film is better lol.) Ive got the sotry in my head planned out but the begginning is abit slow, so just hang on.! R&R Please.

Prologue and chapter one up!

I know now, leaving was always the inevitable, I had just been delaying it for some time. I thought it would be easy, I was wrong. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do and although I knew it was for the best, it took all my will to keep me from turning around and going back to the shitty ass cheap apartment that I lived in , get back into bed and hope he hadn't noticed that I'd gone.

When I moved into the apartment which was situated in what I guess you could call 'the wrong side of town', I never intended to stay there for the long haul. I was a twenty year old student majoring in

English Literature in college, who had seriously argued with her controlling mother and step-father who had forced her to stay in Chicago for college. I had been in the area relentlessly searching for work and a cheap apartment when I got a job as a barmaid in a bar called the Four Roses.

That's where I recognised a guy I only knew as 'Trigger' from all those years ago before my mother married the rich asshole, when we lived in a shitty part of town. I hadn't been close to him when we lived nearby, I hadn't been close to anyone around here. I spent most of time with my father in Washington and when I was here , I was on the phone to my father. But I got to know Trigger relatively well when I was sixteen, my father had died in a car crash and I was sent back to live permanently with my mother and her new husband. I guess you could say I didn't take my father's death well, I turned to drugs. A release from the pain that churned inside me.

I had been back with my mother and her husband George for almost three weeks. My dad had died a little over a month ago and I was having a hard time accepting it. I hadn't cried about it, not even at his funeral, I had just stood there in a daze, staring down at the brown coffin that held my father's decaying body. I just stared, in a trance, fixated on the six foot hole where my beloved father was being lowered into, listening to the priest talk about how he was ' a devoted father, to daughter's Anna and Patricia'. Then after being back in Chicago for three and a half week's the first tear fell. Then more came and more again. They kept coming until I was hysterically crying with my head in my hands curled up on my bed. I stayed like that for over a week.

I dealt with the pain of losing the one parent that cared for me, loved me, like other's do I suppose. I stayed in my room for over a week , not sleeping, not eating and only drinking when my mother and sister forced it upon me. I just sat there, crying. But two month's after my dad's death I was forced back into a routine. I was forced to go to a private school which I hated. My older sister Anna tried her best to make my weekend's fun, and I guess now looking back at them they were. But I still felt like I was dying inside. So when I heard about a party in a not so good neighbourhood, I went with the intension of getting wasted. That was the night I did my first drug, my first ecstasy tablet.

I loved it, I loved the happy feeling it gave me, I loved that I forgot who I was and what had happened.

My weekend's were no longer spent with my sister but with my new 'friends' whom I would go to party's with, get wasted and high with. I soon tried other thing's as well as pills. It started off with having a few joint's before taking a couple of pills. Then I started smoking weed in the week also. Just to take the edge off I told myself.

I re-met Trigger at a party one night, it seemed he and I were the only one's there who didn't crave the drug's. We didn't need them, we used them as we choose. I got to know him pretty well, we didn't hang out, but he would be at the party's I was and he'd be the only one there other than myself who didn't want to get off their face's right away. So I'd talk with him for awhile, then we'd take a few pill's each and revel in each other's company while we got the hit. We did this at every party we were both at for two months. That blossoming friendship ceased when I was caught with pill's in school and was instantly expelled, and forced to rehab by my mother and step-father.

I beat rehab instantly, as I said I wasn't addicted to anything except my cigarette's. I went to a public school which George was disgusted by and I never went back to any of those party's after rehab. I realised my father wouldn't want me turning to pill's for a release. So I stopped.

I was working in the four roses when Trigger had arrived and I instantly recognised him. At first he didn't know who I was but after a few second's he remembered and we sat down and had a long chat. It seemed he didn't do pill's anymore either, he was more in the business of supplying them. He didn't call himself a drug dealer, he called himself a delivery boy. What was the difference? I didn't know back then. After hearing about me looking for an apartment, he offered me a place at his, he had a spare bedroom in his new apartment and was looking for a roommate. It was five block's from the bar and a thirty minute bus ride from college, so it was perfect. After seeing the place it was just what I was looking for until I graduated, it was small with the living room and kitchen combined with just a small breakfast bar separating them., a small bathroom and two bedroom's. The place wasn't completely furnished the living room only had a small couch and a T.V in it and the kitchen had no appliances just a dirty old fridge and a grease covered oven that only worked when it felt like it. But it was cheap and it soon became my home.

The next day I moved in, just taking some stuff from my bedroom at my parent's house. After all the last thing I had told them was that I wanted nothing from them. Which was true, I had always wanted to pay my own way through college but they hadn't allowed me to until I had finally argued with them so badly that I left. They sneered at me telling me I'd be back when I needed money, that only made me more determined to create a life which they had no part in.

As I said I just wanted to turn around and go home, back into the arm's of the man I loved. But I knew I couldn't. I unconsciously crept down the apartment building's step's, I don't know why, its not like he was going to hear me. The cab was waiting for me outside and I quickly rushed over to it and got in before I could change my mind and turn around.

"The airport please." I asked as I put the duffle bag full of clothes next to me.

I closed my eye's and thought about how my life had changed in the past two and a half years. How much I hated but loved the life I lead. How much the people around me had shaped my life in the last two and a half years. But never not once did my thought's leave Billy.

A/N From this chapter onward's it's just showing what happend before and leading up to what is happening in the prologue.