Thanks to everyone who has reviewed this story of the past year or so. They mean a lot to me. I can't believe this story has finally come to an end. Please let me know what you think.
If you got a spare minute please leave a review.
Thanks again to everyone who has supported this story.
I lay in bed not sure what to do; Billy had dragged me home and thrown me into the bedroom before shutting the door on me. Did he still plan on killing me? Or did he think that forcing me to have an abortion was enough punishment?
He'd most definitely pop a bullet in my head if he knew I had managed to not go through with the termination.
This is why I had to leave- leave him and this life behind. If I could manage to get away without being killed.
If Billy decided to keep me a prisoner in the apartment I would be screwed. I was already two months gone- I'd be visibly showing within the next few weeks.
Since I'd found out I was pregnant I seemed to see my stomach growing by the day. It was only so long I could hide it under baggy T-shirts and heavy coats.
I had been lying in bed for over two hours and I could hear Billy tinkering around the apartment occasionally throwing glass bottles at walls. What would he do if I walked out there?
Through hours of worrying exhaustion finally took hold and I fell asleep not waking up until late the next afternoon.
Slowly I crept across the bedroom floor trying to make as little noise as possible before slipping out of the bedroom door.
The apartment was empty and surprisingly I wasn't locked in.
A note on the kitchen counter read:
Take your meds.
Don't think about going anywhere.
I'll be home tonight.
The note didn't need to be signed; I could recognize that angry scrawl any day. I dithered around for awhile not sure what to do.
My first scan was meant to be that day, and before I realized Billy and Joe were out I was planning on missing it, but now knowing that they wouldn't be home until late the urge to see my baby overtook me and before I realized it I was in a cab on the way to the hospital.
I sat in the waiting room patiently, my hand unconsciously placed on my stomach like all the other mothers to be waiting in the same room. There were women who looked like they were about to pop and women with cute little bumps that they stared down at with wide grins, and then there were couples who you could hardly tell were pregnant, like me, probably waiting for their first scan too.
I reminded myself that I would need to change hospitals so that I could have future scans and appointments in a New York hospital.
The waiting room was almost exactly like the one I sat in impatiently when I brought Joe to the hospital after Billy had beat on him. I reminded myself exactly why I had to leave him.
I pondered whether or not when I left if I should write Billy a letter, letting him know that I had kept his child and that I was in New York if he ever wanted to visit. But then would he come and get me? Force me back to Boston and hurt the baby and me?
"Trish?" My head snapped to the side to see Joe standing there looking down at me with wide eyes. His eyes scanned the room looking at all the other mothers to be and then looking back down at me. "What are you doing here? I thought Fat Phil had sorted it." I loathed how he said 'it'.
My expression must have been a pained one because I didn't know whether I could trust Joe not to tell Billy that I was still carrying his child. But then he was going to leave me in that cupboard and not tell Billy I was there, and that was to prevent me from having a beating or worse being killed and I had slept with their dad. Would he really risk my life and his future niece or nephew's life just because I managed to get out of the abortion Billy was forcing upon me?
"How did you know I was her?" I questioned, panic seeping through my voice.
He looked ashamed. "Billy had me watching the apartment encase you tried to leave. Don't worry I haven't told him you took off."
"Is Craig okay?" I asked feeling relieved.
"Yeah, Billy hit him about a bit, but told him to get on the next flight to Michigan and he'd leave him alone. He's gone." I was so happy that Craig hadn't been seriously hurt. "What are you doing here? I thought Phil got rid of it?" His voice broke a little. "His tools were bloody."
"Joe sit down," I pulled him down into one of the ugly plastic brown chairs next to me and gripped his hand tightly. I knew that everyone else in the room must have assumed that Joe was the dad and I didn't care if they did. He would make a better father than Billy would. "I'm still pregnant." His eyes widened. "Phil agreed that it wasn't right to have the decision forced upon me when I wanted to keep my baby so we lied. Phil cut his own leg to put some blood on the tools and we waited the appropriate time before he left. Phil didn't touch me."
"What you going to do when Billy finds out? You can't keep it from him forever."
I shook my head gently whilst looking down at our laced hands; so much loved past between us, platonic love. I would miss him dearly.
"I'm leaving. I've got to get away from him; I have to think about the baby." He stared at me for a moment before looking at my stomach through my big baggy T-shirt.
"I'm going to be an uncle? That's insane. I'll miss you, you know that but I agree it's best if you go."
Tears streamed my face and I grabbed Joe eagerly and wrapped him in a warm hug. I prayed dearly that this sweet sincere guy would not turn into his older brother.
"Miss Wilson?" A nurse called smiling kindly.
I turned to Joe and wiped my eyes, unaware that the whole room was watching me hugging this young man; they were probably also judging- I had done a terrible job at covering the bruises on my neck and face.
"You wanna' come in?" he nodded eagerly and together, hand in hand we walked into the nurses room.
Joe had gasped dramatically when I lifted my T-shirt up so that my stomach could have the ultra sound on it. He wondered loudly how Billy hadn't noticed my growing tummy. I knew why, he had been pretty much constantly off it for the last month that's why. I didn't realize my stomach was that big?
The nurse eyed me with worried eyes. I mean I was black and blue. Billy had beaten me badly. Though worry erased from her eyes and wide smile replaced it as she heard the heartbeat.
"Congratulations," the nurse said whilst listening intently to the sound of the heartbeat. "You're expecting twins."
"What?" I gasped mildly horrified. Two babies, two! How was I going to cope? Twins didn't run in my family, or Billy's.
Joe's eyes were wide but a huge grin spread across his face.
I stared at the nurse begging her to continue speaking.
"Yes, I would bet my life on it. And their both two very healthy strong heart beats!" The nurse announced excitedly.
Joe let out a small laugh. "If I remember my mom's sister had twins." He shook his head like it was the biggest coincidence ever.
I was so shocked I couldn't speak. Twins, two little lives dependent on me.
That only made me more determined to be out of Chicago by the end of the week.
"I've sorted your flight. You need to be at the airport by four AM for your flight on Sunday okay? That's all I can fuckin' do, you're on your own now." Joe said calmly before settling down into the couch. "Billy called when you were in the shower- he said he would be home soon." I knew he would have also told Joe to keep me in his sight.
"Don't you want to know why?" He looked at me mildly confused. "About me sleeping with Bones."
He raised his brown eyebrows. "Oh, that."
Joe began tugging at his ear, a nervous habit as I sat down next to him and pulled my knees up to my chin.
"I thought that by doing it Bones would get Billy out of jail. He told me he would. I don't think he even tried though," I said slowly brushing a strand of hair out of my face.
God I needed a ciggie; I sucked in a deep breath and tried to think of other things instead.
Joe watched me subtly from the corner of his eye. "I believe you." He then smirked a little. "I mean you wouldn't screw me before Billy so why the fuck would you screw Bones?" he added on a lighter note.
I tried to smile; it most definitely did not reach my eyes.
At that moment the front door swung open and Billy strode through the door and stood there glaring at me and Joe.
"Get out Joe," Billy snarled. Joe didn't move he just looked at me. "Now," I nodded at Joe not wanting him to get hurt over this. Joe stood up and made his way over to Billy. "Go take the money from the office to Bones and don't come back tonight," he commanded in a quieter voice, almost a threatening whisper.
Joe nodded and his big brown eyes found mine once again. "Look man, Trish she's not in a good way-"
Billy pushed him out the front door roughly; Joe had been trying to make sure that Billy didn't hurt me.
As Joe fell through the door his eyes looked at someone who I couldn't see standing outside; Billy nodded at someone and to my utmost surprise Becky who used to work in the Four Roses walked in. Billy slammed the door in Joe's face before locking it.
I stood up immediately looking at Becky with wide eyes. Her hair was still cut short and black, and she wore a pink boob tube with the smallest black skirt ever. Her nose was red and sore and she had dirt on her knees.
"Becky I haven't seen you in so long. Are you okay?" I didn't understand why Billy had brought her here; we needed to talk. I hadn't spoken to him since he'd beat on me. I needed him to leave me alone so I could take off on Sunday.
Billy stood next to Becky pouring two glasses of whiskey and lighting himself a cigarette. He handed one glass to Becky who smiled up at him and batted her long fake lashes.
She turned back to me and smiled a cruel smile. "Yeah, you don't look so good Trish- the battered and bruised look really doesn't suit you." Billy swigged his drink carelessly whilst eyeing me with glazed over icy eyes. "Oh, and you've gained weight around your stomach," Billy flinched for the tiniest of seconds. "I thought that usually happens when you're like forty."
Was Billy and I the only people that hadn't noticed my weight gain? I had been wearing big coats and baggy shirts to help cover my stomach but still.
My mouth was opened wide, is this why Billy had brought her here? To insult me?
"Billy-" I began to plead.
"I thought you said she wouldn't be here?" Becky asked looking up into Billy's cold hard eyes he didn't look at her. She twirled her hair around her finger thinking it was cute.
Billy stared deep into my eyes, "she can wait in the bedroom." I stared at him blankly; what was he playing at. "Go. Now!" he ordered me; Becky giggled.
I went to go and walk past Billy and out the front door but he put his arm out in my way to stop me. "I said in the bedroom." I also realized he had locked the door with his keys and I didn't have a clue where mine were. Probably still at Craig's.
I turned around and began walking into the bedroom, resisting the urge to slap Billy hard across the face. As I walked I heard a slapping sound and then a high pitched giggle; Billy had spanked Becky.
There was no noise coming from the living room, well none that I could hear so I tip toed across the room and peeked out of the five inch gap that between the door and the wall.
Tears stung my eyes and fell instantly. Becky had her arms wrapped around Billy and he nuzzled on her neck lustfully; his eyes were intent on the door and they caught mine for the briefest of seconds. He quit nuzzling and smirked at me. I closed the door tight.
He was going to fuck her and let me hear it and there was nothing I could do about it except sit and listen.
An hour dragged on and I was beginning to feel dizzy and nauseous. Becky was loud, and I mean very loud. Her screams of pleasure seemed to bounce off the walls and never end; the way she moaned Billy's name rattled around in my head.
My hands shook as I sat there crying; Billy grunted loudly – the first noise id heard him make since he and Becky had began fucking – the vomit was rising in my throat.
I had to get out of those four walls. Without thinking I dashed out of the bedroom with my hand over my mouth; what I saw shattered my heart.
Billy sat upright on the couch naked leaning back into the leather; Becky was straddling him whilst she bounced up and down, her large rounds breasts bouncing with her whilst Billy's hands gripped her waist. Her hair was a mass of tangles and her clothes lay in a crumpled heap next to the coffee table. Billy's tattooed arms were tensed as he clutched Becky's badly tanned skin. Becky's fingers clawed at Billy's shoulders, marking his tattooed flesh.
Their heads snapped towards me as I ran out of the bedroom; Becky smirked at me before continuing to grind Billy; he just looked at me with slanted eyes.
I ran past them, vomit trickling into my hand before falling by the toilet and emptying my stomach into it. I heaved over the toilet, my vomit and stomach drowning out the noise of them too more than likely continuing whilst I puked my guts up.
My head rested on the cold toilet seat, it helped the room stop spinning.
"Get up!" Billy's voice commanded from behind me.
I sucked in a sharp breath. "I can't," I exclaimed, not removing my head from the toilet seat.
I could feel his presence standing behind me, fuming more than likely that I had interrupted his fun.
"Billy come back over here and fuck me," Becky whined from the couch- her voice made me vomit again.
He walked out of the bathroom. "Grab your shit and go," he told her. I could hear her disbelief and her questioning him before he threw her out of the apartment; she yelled that she was still in her underwear.
I could hear him in the kitchen turning the tap on and off; I didn't care what he was doing as long as he didn't come in again. He did.
A glass of water was placed down beside the toilet by his burly hand, and I almost turned around to look up at him. I didn't have a chance though.
Billy gripped my hair and pulled my head back roughly, exactly the same way he had done it to Jay the other day in the bar- the day I wished I had never left the apartment. "Are ya still fuckin' pregnant?"
I sobbed, "No, why would you think that?"
His grip loosened on my hair and he angrily pushed my head back down towards the toilet, I almost hit my head on the seat. "Why the fuck are ya still puking?"
I snapped my head towards him, anger flaring throughout my entire body. He stood up against the bathroom wall, his demeanor radiating fury. "I am sick because the sound of you and her," I spat the words out of my mouth like they were poison, "made me sick to my stomach! I am sick because you killed our baby!" I screamed at him, tears streaming my face. So I was lying, but I would do whatever to cover up this pregnancy sickness and the look on his face as I said it was worth it.
Billy's lip curled almost in disgust before he slammed his hand repeatedly at the wall. His fist went through the plaster board. His neck and face was red and a vein popped out of his neck furiously.
"How was I supposed to know that it was mine?" He screamed back at me before throwing his fist at the wall again.
My anger was flowing out of me like a river. "Because I love you God damn it! Do you think that I enjoyed it?" I was sneering at him, my lip curled over in disgust just as Billy's had earlier. "Having his greasy hands on my body, having him whisper obscene things in my ear, having him pull at my hair like I enjoyed it."
"Stop," Billy murmured.
"How he crushed his fat body against mine, his disgusting smell all over me and how he asked me what it was like to be with a real man after being with you for so long." Billy's eyes were wide like a crazed mad man; he looked psychotic. I was glad he didn't have his gun tucked into his boxers.
"Stop now," he warned his fists balling up.
"And how I had to agree because I wanted you, no I needed you out of prison because I couldn't bear living without you. It was one time, it was a mistake and I did it for you," I snarled at him, still sitting on the floor leaning against the toilet seat. "It was that night that I started taking your coke because I couldn't bear to think about what I had done."
"Shut the fuck up before I fuckin' kill ya," he bellowed grabbing a mirror off the wall and throwing it recklessly at the shower. The mirror smashed into a thousand pieces, shattering all over the floor and onto my covered legs. I cowered away from the glass before getting up unsteadily and heading back into the bedroom.
I sat on the bed, my head in my hands. How was I going to get out of this? I needed closure with Billy too; I'd hate to just leave with things still up in the air.
Time passed I'm not sure how much but Billy soon came into the bedroom wrapped in a white towel water dripping down his broad chest. He must have cleaned the glass up then.
He stood there watching me; I got up quickly and headed to the bathroom for a shower too. The warm water soothed my aching bruised body, looking down at my stomach as the water slipped down I noticed the small bump and I couldn't stop smiling.
Billy had cleaned up the glass, I noted; the empty mirror frame rested uselessly against a wall in the living room and I tried not to look at it as I lay down in the couch, my eyes scaling the room.
"Come to bed," Billy's gruff voice came from behind me. I didn't move, "now."
I reluctantly got up and sauntered into the dark room and over to bed, not looking at him, and curled up facing the wall before he had even re entered the room.
The bed dipped as Billy climbed inside; he lay still for awhile before rolling over so that his head was by my ear. "Don't fuckin' think you've got away with this." He whispered threateningly into my ear before rolling over leaving me lay there stunned tears streaming down my face.
The taxi ride was a killer. All I wanted to do was get back into bed with him and make him realize that the baby's and I were what were important. Not his revenge.
But he didn't even know about the babies, and he never would.
The taxi sped towards the airport, but I couldn't relax, I knew he could be coming after me right then.
I felt bad about not being able to say goodbye to Joe; he was like a little brother to me, and I would miss him dearly, but I had to go now and get on the next flight available; screw my ticket for Sunday, I needed to be in New York immediately.
If I stayed any longer Billy would figure out how to punish me and maybe he would decide to kill me, or he might find out I was still pregnant, which would lead to the same thing. I could not take a chance like that, even if my body ached to be with him, I knew I never could be.
My breathing was quickening and my hands were shaking, well one of them was, Michelle held the other one tightly; her eyes were bright with excitement – I didn't need to see her face to know that she was smiling insanely.
A drop of sweat rolled down my neck, I let it roll though I didn't know why I was sweating, it's not like I was doing anything- nerves maybe?
I was in labor; well I was in labor before my baby's decided that they didn't want to come anymore so I was rushed in for a C-section. This was not how I envisioned meeting my children for the first time.
The doctor continued doing what he was doing to my uterus; I couldn't feel anything from the waist down and I couldn't see anything either, thanks to the screen the doctor had placed across my stomach.
My thoughts danced back to Billy for the slightest of moments; he should have been there holding my hand telling me it was going to be okay.
I hadn't seen or heard from Billy or anyone in Chicago since I left; something I was immensely grateful for. It would be harder to stay away if I was in contact.
Michelle's eyes lit up with excitement and I craned my neck to see what she was looking at; the doctor held a small baby in his rubber gloved hands; I sucked in a sharp breath as I saw the back of a small head covered in thick brown hair.
The baby didn't make a sound, I almost screamed at the doctor to do something before he cleared the baby and a loud wail erupted from its lungs.
I reached out for the baby but a nurse took it away. I didn't even know if it was a boy or girl.
Before I knew it the doctor was holding the second baby and before I had time to panic a loud wail entered the room; tears streaked my face.
Once I was all stitched up and the babies were cleaned a nurse brought the first baby over to me. "This little one here is your new baby girl," she said before another nurse helped me turn onto my side so that I could hold her.
She was beautiful; her thick brown hair was so soft and she smelt gorgeous. I could have stayed like that forever, but the nurse came back over minutes later to introduce me to the second baby so reluctantly I let Michelle hold my little girl whilst I handed my arms out for baby number two.
"Here's your little boy," the kind nurse said, smiling at me as I held him.
His hair was not as thick as my girls but a layer covered his soft head. His cheeks were chubbier and I later found out that he was the heaviest weighing at six and a half pounds where as my little prices was only just over five.
His nose was so little and I could immediately see his father in him, the thicker lower lip, the shape of his eye; I knew he would look more like his father everyday.
I glanced up at Michelle who stared down at my small little girl with a smile before she placed my little girl on the bed with me and her brother. My heart swelled with happiness as I looked down at them, and fresh tears ran down my face.
It was a quiet night; I wished it would be busier. I leaned on the dark wooden bar and began counting my money for the month in my head. It was going to be tight, it was always tight.
Maybe Wayne would let me go early- I hated leaving the kids with old Mrs. Stanley even if they were in bed, it felt like I was taking advantage.
I looked at my reflection in one of the mirrors that was placed over the liquor bottles. My newly cut bob was sharp around my jaw, and the dyed brown dulled down my chocolate brown eyes. I didn't care though there was only one reason why I had cut my hair off and dyed it a color I never thought I would. Paranoia.
Since I'd moved back into Chicago six months ago I had been crazy worried with paranoia. What if I saw someone I knew? But over time it had dyed out. I lived on completely different side of town; I worked in a fancy wine bar (not exactly Billy's type of bar) and I hadn't even be near the rough side of town since I'd got back.
Chicago was a big city, nobody would find me.
And if they did, I hoped this stupid disguise would work.
I hadn't wanted to move back, no way. But I was struggling financially and my mom's friend had just bought an apartment building in a pretty good side of town, he was willing to cut me a good deal. So I moved back for that; though I still felt like I was paying more than I could afford.
Plus, Chelle and Alex had moved back to Chicago the year before, and it was hard for me to say that I didn't miss them. Alex had always said he would never live in Chicago again, but Michelle wanted to go home, and of course he followed her. Sweet, I know.
Also my mom was in Chicago, and she could help me a lot. I'd made up with her for the sake of the kids, but that didn't mean that she didn't tick me off more than she made me smile, the kids loved their granny though.
I walked across the empty bar, my heels clipping on the modern shiny wooden floor; my black trousers and white blouse uniform was a big change to the one I had had to wear in the Four Roses.
The lights were dimmed in the bar and even more so near the long thick black door that was my boss' is office. I knew if my boss was in he'd want me to stay on, but my supervisor was a wild child who only worked for his father so he could get him off his back; I knew he'd want to take off as much as I would.
I knocked the door before entering.
Wayne sat lounged behind his fathers desk, his feet up on a stack of important papers smoking a cigarette. His black hair was style to look like casual disarray and his hazel eyes twinkled as he looked up at me whilst I entered.
"Hey," I said smiling at him lightly. "Nobody's here, mind if I take off?"
He tossed the playboy magazine he was looking at onto the table carelessly before standing up and throwing his stylish grey blazer over his shoulders. "I thought you'd never ask." He stubbed out his cigarette in the marble ashtray. "We don't need to tell my dad about this, that way you can still get paid for the next hour." I liked how he made it sound like he was doing me a favor.
I walked into the staff room upstairs to gather my coat and bag, knowing that Wayne was probably dumping the till in the safe not even counting it. I threw my scarf around my neck re-arranging it as I walked downstairs knowing that Wayne would be impatiently waiting by the door for me.
I was right.
The lights were out, only the security lights were on. I could barely see my feet let alone who Wayne was talking too.
As I got closer my eyes were squinting towards the bright lights of outside. Wayne was negotiating a deal or something, I didn't know, I didn't care I just wanted to get home.
That was until I got close to the door to see who was standing outside blanking Wayne now, and staring in with wide shocked eyes, his mouth slightly ajar.
Joe Darley was the one to finally find me. Fuck!
Sequel? Yes, maybe? Please review.