Howdy, dowdy all!
Random Generic Disclaimer!
I thought of this when I was eating so ice cream while I was one the computer (O.o).
Oh! In case you don't know, a biscotti is a long cookie that's usually found in Italy!
You might have to look at a picture of one before you get the joke.
I would say it's about 3:00 in the morning.
The Test Of Patience
By Chibi Shino
Sasuke Uchiha tapped his foot in a constant fashion as he waited for his wife of 1 month, Sakura, to get home from a late shift. He was sitting on the couch, staring at the blank T.V screen. Lately, Sasuke been feeling a little...how to put this...horny. He loved Sakura and she knows that, but he also wants to help rebuild his clan. After he disposed of the man he called his brother, he came back to Konoha. You know how the story goes. He came back, they fell in love, they got married, and now they have to have kids..
When is she coming home?! He thought as he added his other foot to the beat.
Sasuke jolted his head towards the door. A very tired looked Sakura slumped in, shutting the door behind her. "Hello, honey..." She greeted tiredly as she dropped her bags to the floor. "Were you waiting for me this whole time?" She hung her jacket on the coat hanger next to the door. Sasuke nodded as Sakura walked up to him, kissing him on the cheek and hugging his neck. "You know what I could really go for right now?"
"What?" He whispered back.
Sakura smiled. "A nice big cup of coffee!"
Sakura hooked her arms of his neck and skipped into the kitchen, leaving a very dissapointed Sasuke behind her. Sasuke sighed and got up, following the tracks of his wife. He saw her digging through the cabinets for her beloved coffee beans, apartently not being successful because everytime she shut a door she let out an agrivated grunt. When she finally found them, she realised they were on a self to high to reach.
Sasuke smirked as he watched her jump many times to try and reach them, only to push them farther than hey had been before. "Sasuke?" She turned to him. "Can you reach them for me? I'm too short." She pouted.
"Hn." Sasuke responded as he grabbed the beans with ease, much to Sakura's envy.
"It's not fair!" She grumbled as she placed the beans into the maker. "I'm the one who want's the beans! Why do you have to be the tall one?!" She complained. Sasuke smirked. She can be so childish sometimes... "How did they get up there anyway?" Sakura wondered outloud.
"I'll tell you what." Sasuke leaned against the counter. "I'll get you a step ladder the next time we go out, okay?" He teased.
Sakura glared at his cruel joke. "That wasn't funny." She huffed as she grabbed a mug. She got out all the things she wanted (Sugar, milk etc.) and watched as the coffee slowly dripped out. Something in the corner caught her eye. "Since when do we have biscotti?" Sakura asked as she quickly grabbed a one from the jar and started nibbling on it innocently.
Sasuke felt like he was about to cry. The innocent gesture turned into pure torture for the poor Uchiha. He felt his fingers tap in a fast pace on the table.
"Sasuke?" His wife's voice snapped him out of his little trance. "Are you okay?" She asked as she put her hands on his forehead. "You don't seem to have a fever..." To bad for her, Sasuke was not listening.
Her boobs are in my face...HER BOOBS ARE IN MY FACE... That was all he could hear in his mind. Sasuke thought he heard something faint, by he ignored it. She was to inthrawled by her- "SASUKE!" Sasuke jumped and looked up at Sakura, who probably called him many times because of her agrivated face. "Are you okay?"
He responded with an, "Hn.".
"I'm going to go change. Can you call me when the coffee's done?" Sakura didn't wait for an answer because she was already halfway up the stairs. Sasuke listened to the faint sounds of rustling and grumbled. This was pure torture. TORTURE! Maybe he should go upstairs right now and-
As if on cue, the coffee maker went PING!
Sasuke wanted to die right then and there. He remember that he had to tell Sakura and yelled, "Sakura!"
"Yeah?!" He heard her reply.
"Hn!" Sasuke ended the convesation as he banged his head on the table. Stupid Itachi for putting this damn burden on him... Not wanting Sakura to have another one with her coffee, Sasuke hid the biscotti in a high cabinet. He ran back to the table and rested his head on the table.
"Are you tired, honey?" Sasuke raised his head to look at Sakura. She was wearing a bathrobe.
A really short bathrobe.
With nothing on under it.
Sasuke lost his balance and fell of the chair, fearing that the nose bleed that was threating to come out would be exposed. "Sasuke?!" Sakura ran over to him and helped him up. "What is wrong with you this morning?!"
"I'm just tired." He said through gitted teeth. He wanted to change the subject as quickly as possible. "Can you pour me a cup of coffee as well?" He asked as he got up and sat back down.
"Of course!" Sakura smiled as she took out two mugs and made the coffee how the both like it (Milk and two sugars). Sakura cheerfully turned to the corner to find the final thing to go with their early breakfast get together, but it wasn't there. "Sasuke?" She turned to Sasuke when she finished searching. "Have you seen the biscot-"
"No." Sasuke answered a little to fast.
Sakura blinked at the sudden interruption, then brushed it off as she got the mugs and placed them down on the table. "So why did you stay up and wait for me?" Asked a curious Sakura.
Yeah! I'm uber horny right now, hun, so TAKE ME NOW! If he were to say something to that effect, he probably would know what his reward would be...a big punch in the face or, if he was lucky, what he actually wanted. But, alas, he is a stoic, non emotional boy. So all he did was shrug.
Sakura smiled into her coffee. "You were worried about me, weren't you?"
Sasuke blinked. Yeah...let's go with that. "Yes." He responded smirking.
Sakura put down her mug, smiled and grabbed his hand with both of her's. "You're so sweet!" She gushed. Even though they were married, he rarely showed signs of affection. This was a pleasent suprise for Sakura. As soon as she grabbed his hands, she let go and stretched. "I think I'm going to go to bed." Sakura yawned as she placed their mugs in the sink (Sakura must be tired, Sasuke mused, because he wasn't done). "Good night!" She said as she kissed him on the cheek and walked towards the stairs.
"Night." Sasuke said back as he stood up to go watch T.V.
"Oh, and Sasuke?" Sasuke turned to his wife who was leaning on the wall near the stairs. "I have to show you something...in our room." She purred as she slowly climbed the stairs. Sasuke smirked. Finally! He climbed the stairs and walked into the room. "See, Sasuke! A new matress!" Sakura started to jump on it like a child. "Come one! It's comfy!"
Maybe he has to wait on his second goal longer than he thought...
Putting Sasuke through torture is so much fun!