Author: darkalbino, illi, me (me, myself and I)
so this just proves that I hang out with very bad people. because it was inspired by something my friend told me...please don't ask me what it was because chances are I will be far too embarassed and ashamed to share it with you.
Just read the damn thing and don't question its origin.
Summary: Don't you hate it when you turn out to be right about certain things?
Warnings: This chapter isn't anything too bad I guess...but if you know me, then you know what I consider to be not bad and what I consider to be very bad. And very bad happens to be a very SHORT list. Possible lemon in second chapter (it's all on reviews peeps, bitch at me for it later) SasuNaru, two-shot.
Disclaimer: You know, I'm not even sure if I own the dirt under my fingernails.
Sasuke Uchiha sat at his computer desk, fingers dancing over the keyboard as he finished up his term paper.
But his movements stopped at a light ping that emanated from the monitor, drawing his eyes to the bottom right corner of the screen where a small, blue square had popped up.
Inside the small box read, "Kitsune'sRamen465 has invited you to an IM conversation."
Sasuke's eyes widened slightly before his lips tilted upward.
He quickly moved the mouse to the "Accept" button but paused before clicking.
Sasuke glanced behind him to make sure the window blinds were closed, and they were, morning light peeking through the small slits. But then the door caught his attention, as it was slightly ajar.
He eyed it before standing from his seat and walking to it. Sasuke poked his head out into the living room of the dorm for any signs of his roommate.
It was empty. He smiled to himself, "Still asleep." and closed the door with a soft 'click.'
Another ping resounded from his computer, guiding him back to his chair to find another blue box overlapping the first one, "Kitsune'sRamen465 has sent you a nudge."
Sasuke grinned and clicked "Accept", then leaned back and rested his free hand on his thigh.
Another square window popped into existence, this one larger.
Kitsune'sRamen465: hey, you there? i see you online.
The cursor blinked on and off in Sasuke's reply box, waiting for an answer. His fingers moved quickly before tapping "Enter."
SU: Then obviously, yes, I'm here, what's up?
Yes, his screename was SU. Sasuke Uchiha. Honestly, why was he going to strain effort into something as stupid as a fake name online? If it hadn't been for a ridiculous dare from his friend Neji, Sasuke would've never participated in an IM chat. He barely talked to people in real life, so what would be any better about doing it over the internet?
Kitsune'sRamen465: ahh, so we're on asshole mode this morning, nice 2 know ur doing well.
Sasuke smiled. It turned out to be a good thing though, IM-ing, that's how he wound up meeting this guy.
SU: We've never spoken in the morning, what's with the change?
Kitsune'sRamen465: ha, well i got up on time for once and now i've got some extra time to do stuff. so i thought, why not spend it w/you?
SU: How thoughtful.
Kitsune'sRamen465: don't pretend like you didn't want to talk to me too ;)
SU: It's not much of a contest when it's choosing between you and my term paper.
Kitsune'sRamen465: damn, a term paper? you must be rushed huh? i finished mine last night.
SU: Wasn't really up to it.
Kitsune'sRamen465: shit, and i thought i was the irresponsible one, shame on you.
SU: Shut up stupid. You probably look like shit from working on it last night.
Kitsune'sRamen465: ha ha fucking ha. for ur information, i look hot, as always.
SU: Well, I wouldn't know, would I?
Sasuke waited for a reply, but instead another box opened, "Kitsune'sRamen465 has invited you to use webcam."
Sasuke blinked before chuckling softly and again accepting the other's invitation.
The inivtation square was replaced with a slightly fuzzy image of a young man in a black shirt that read "I'm 6, wanna be 9?" (haha, it's a real shirt). Though he was only visible from the mouth down.
When they'd first started talking, for obvious reasons, neither of them wanted to show their face to the other. And even though they were much closer now, the rule had set more into a habit. It would feel very strange and awkward to both of them if they just suddenly decided to reveal their faces to each other. So they preferred to keep it from mouth down.
Though Sasuke had to admit, he rather enjoyed ogling the other man's chest without the fear of being caught. But unfortunately, this privilege had not presented itself to him today.
SU: Not really. I'm used to not seeing your face, but why are you wearing a shirt?
Kitsune'sRamen465: why not?
SU: You've never worn a shirt before; you're always bare chested when we do this.
Kitsune'sRamen465: you just wanna see my sexy chest, admit it B]
SU: Now let's not get ahead of ourselves, I never said that.
Kitsune'sRamen465: you implied it
SU: You don't even know what implied means.
Kitsune'sRamen465: go suck one
SU: Not unless it's yours.
Kitsune'sRamen465: or maybe your roommate's? oh! BUUURN!
Sasuke frowned momentarily.
SU: Tch, sure, right after you suck your roommate.
Kitsune'sRamen465: hey, now that's not funny...how is your roommate? what's he doin'?
Kitsune'sRamen465: did you tell him you wanna fuck him yet?
SU: Do you think I did?
Kitsune'sRamen465: what the fuck? you haven't told him?
SU: Have you told yours?
Kitsune'sRamen465: that's different man! he doesn't even talk and he fucking IGNORES and looks like he wants to KILL everything!
SU: Well I barely know mine. Besides, I'm having fun with you.
Kitsune'sRamen465: aww, i like you too.
SU: Never said that, we don't even show our whole faces to each other.
Kitsune'sRamen465: but you like my chest. you said so.
Kitsune'sRamen465: so then it stands to reason that you must like me too :)
SU: There is absolutely no logic in that. And stop sending me smiley faces you idiot, I can already see that you're smiling on the camera.
Kitsune'sRamen465: you love my smiley faces! XD
SU: Pft, shows what you know.
Kitsune'sRamen465: i know a lot of stuff, like the fact that you like me and my smiley faces and my sexy chest- a lot
SU: If I say yes, then will you stop going on about your chest?
Kitsune'sRamen465: only if you mean it
SU: Then yes, sometimes I like your faces...and I like you, and I wish I knew you in person.
Kitsune'sRamen465: so you can touch my hot chest?
Kitsune'sRamen465: ha, is that a yes?
SU: I'm leaving.
Sasuke laughed as he watched the other panic through the camera and quickly type in something.
Kitsune'sRamen465: NO! NO I'LL STOP!
SU: You better.
Kitsune'sRamen465: man ur a dick, but i wish i knew you 4 real too. i bet we'd be great friends.
SU: I think I'd like to be more than friends with you.
He waited for a response, but the other man seemed to be considering or thinking about something. It took him a bit before he reached an answer.
Kitsune'sRamen465: welll...i like you, like really like you, but...you know i'm kinda holding out on my roommate
Sasuke felt a little pained. But from the way this guy always went on about how much he liked his roommate, he guessed he sort of expected that reaction.
SU: Sorry to hear that, because it sounds like that hardass is never going to even look at you.
Kitsune'sRamen465: oh believe me, he's looked, but that's all he does
SU: What if he's not into guys?
Kitsune'sRamen465: and what if he is?
The Uchiha smiled playfully.
SU: I think I'm getting jealous.
Kitsune'sRamen465: c'mon man, what are the chances of us meeting anyway? like a zillion to one
SU: You're depressing me.
Kitsune'sRamen465: ...a million to one?
SU: Just stop trying.
He stared at the other as he waited for a response. But nothing happened. They just sat there, in silence...heavy silence. Until Sasuke watched him bend forward slightly.
Kitsune'sRamen465: i found the rest of your name
Kitsune'sRamen465: CK ME
Sasuke paused for a second before smiling.
SU: Suck me?
Kitsune'sRamen465: no, suck ME
SU: Ladies first.
Sasuke watched the man jump back in obvious offense before shooting forward again.
Kitsune'sRamen465: are you callin' me a chick?!
SU: Well I don't know, with that shirt on I can't tell if you're you or if you're just some flat chested whore.
Kitsune'sRamen465: asshole! what if i really was a girl? you totally just hurt my womanly feelings!
SU: Truth hurts.
Kitsune'sRamen465: jerk! i'll show you who's a girl here!
Sasuke's eyes widened as the other reached down and quickly unzipped and unbuttoned his pants, then promptly pulled out his man bits.
A dark brow slowly rose.
SU: Do you realize you just whipped out your penis?
He may not be able to see the other's eyes, but judging from the ridiculously satisfied grin on his face, Sasuke could imagine that they were gleaming with pride.
Kitsune'sRamen465: HA! what, too intimidating for you? bet i'm packing more than you are
SU: Is that a challenge?
Kitsune'sRamen465: what if it is?
SU: Then I'm afraid I'm going to have to accept.
And with that, Sasuke also undid his jeans and brought out his own manhood.
He kept his eyes fixed on the camera, smirking when the other's lips fell apart in what he could only assume was shock.
The man quickly snapped his mouth shut and typed a reply.
Kitsune'sRamen465: a bit
SU: Not what you expected?
SU: Quit drooling.
Kitsune'sRamen465: who's drooling?!
SU: What do you say about sucking me now?
Kitsune'sRamen465: no way! the bitch always goes first!
SU: Calling yourself names isn't healthy.
Kitsune'sRamen465: i was talking about YOU!
SU: Bet you'd like to touch it.
Kitsune'sRamen465: SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU'RE SO PERVERTED!
Sasuke laughed. He found it funny that he was the one being called perverted when the other was first to pull forth a dick and was now going on about bitches and what not. Also because the little bit of tan cheeks he could see were red, and that redness had flowed down to other parts as well.
SU: I'd like to touch yours. You know it turns kind of red when you blush?
Sasuke saw the man blush deeper, mouth a curse, and quickly put his "friend" away.
Kitsune'sRamen465: you know what? i think i have to leave. class is gonna start in a while.
SU: So soon? I was going to go into details.
Kitsune'sRamen465: go to hell
SU: I vacation there.
The man smiled widely and let out a laugh, and Sasuke found himself wishing he could hear it.
Kitsune'sRamen465: this was actually pretty fun...put your junk away and i'll talk to you later, k?
SU: Right, see ya.
Sasuke closed the window, and after a moment, the message, "Kitsune'sRamen465 has signed off" showed up.
He tucked his dick back into his pants and zipped them up, then hung his head over the back of the chair, bringing his palms to his face and rubbing it down with a heavy sigh.
It was weird how he was feeling about this guy, a guy he barely knew beyond that he had a nice chest and a killer smile.
He took a deep breath and saved his term paper before standing up and walking out of his room.
Sasuke was surprised to see his roommate in the living room, bending down in front of their small fridge. He couldn't help but stare at the other man's ass for a moment before jerking with a light blush and looking away, "I didn't know you were up" he muttered.
The man stopped and quickly stood up straight, a carton of milk and a bowl of cereal in his hands. He looked over his shoulder, "Wow, same, I thought you were sleeping."
"I was finishing up my term paper."
The other man laughed and poured milk into his cereal before tossing it back into the fridge and shutting the door with his foot. He turned with the bowl to his chest, lifting a spoon that was dripping with milk and corn flakes to his mouth, "Sucks for you, I finished mine last night."
Sasuke raised a brow, "Really?" he asked. My...what a coincedence.
Naruto nodded, "Yeah, really." and shoved another spoonful into his mouth before moving past Sasuke to lean against a table.
Sasuke eyed the blonde warily and walked to stand in front of him, "It's uh- strange that you're up so early today."
Naruto's chewing slowed drastically, his jaw moving like it was in slow motion as he stared up at his roommate. He swallowed his food, "Um...well, I went to sleep early so...yeah." he shrugged and shoveled another glob of cereal into his mouth.
Sasuke stared back. He couldn't...place his finger on it but...there was something God awfully familiar about his roommate this morning.
Naruto leaned back a bit from the intensity of Sasuke's stare, "Uh...so, you're really talkative this morning. Ha, did I do something right for once around you?" he laughed, which caused his bowl to lower a bit, revealing a 6 on his chest.
Sasuke's eyes went impossibly wide.
The Uchiha suddenly grabbed both of Naruto's wrists and yanked them apart so the bowl dropped and shattered on the floor.
"Hey!" Naruto yelled, trying to twist his arms away from his suddenly psycho roommate.
Sasuke read the words, "I'm 6, wanna be 9?" and his fingers spread out to release both wrists.
Naruto wrapped his fingers around his left one and rubbed it, frowning and glaring at the other man, "Goddamn, if you wanted to read it so badly you should've just-"
"Naruto do you IM people?" Sasuke asked quickly.
Naruto paused, eyes narrowing, "What?"
"IM, instant messaging, do you do it or no?"
"That- that's none of your business!"
Sasuke scoffed through a disbelieving smile and looked to the side, "It's all my business."
"What does that mean?"
"What's your screename?"
"What the hell are you going on about?"
Onyx eyes darted to lock with deep blue, "Mine is S-U."
Naruto rolled his eyes, "What the fuck do I care if..." he stopped, gaze widening. "Oh" he whispered, "Oh...shit...uh..." he looked down, glancing at everything but Sasuke. A pretty blush stained his cheeks, "Uhm...uh...eh..."
"Stop stammering!" Sasuke yelled, his heart jumping when his eyes trailed down Naruto's pants. He hastily looked back up, "It's not that bad!"
Naruto shook his head quickly, "I- I have to go class!" and he dashed around Sasuke and out the door faster than a prostitute out of a church.
Sasuke stood rooted to the spot, staring at the now empty space that had been occupied by Naruto.
"Fuck..." he breathed, and abruptly turned and began pacing up and down the small room, threading fingers through his hair and tugging.
Things could not possibly, get more fucked up than this.
sorry, but as I said, it's a two shot. next chapter will be one huge lemon...or WILL it? -insert evil laughter- thou shalt not know unless thou REVIEWS!
PS: please don't get on my case about spelling or grammar, okay guys? What I typed this on did not have spell check, and as for the IM conversation, I purposely made Naruto's writing loose and wrong and Sasuke's writing perfect, to fit there personalities. So...let's keep spelling opinions to ourselves, kay?
PPS: thanks for Naru's name Cat! I love you! -huggles-