I wanna thank all of the amazing reviewers who have sent me many of your own theories and ideas on this story, all of them are crazy insightful and really well-thought out, —but I'm happy to say, that none of you are even close to my original narrative.
I know some of you guys won't be happy with this ending, but not every writer can please every reader, but hopefully you guys have enjoyed reading this, as much as I've enjoyed writing it.
Three Wishes by The Pierces
Inside My Head by Radiohead
Disclaimer: It's definitely been established.
"Bella, I could kill you," he whispered.
"I don't think you could."
"Obviously not that you aren't physically able to hurt me, if you wanted to…More that, you don't want to hurt me… so much so that I don't think that you ever could."
-Eclipse p. 447
The steps I took were studious and calculated. The throb of each footstep falling harder and louder, echoing around the halls and causing swift vibrations, like a small ripple disturbing the glassy surface of a stretch of water.
I looked up, setting my vision in bewildering confusion as the hallway focused, the walls closed in on me, a dizzying dolly-shot lining up the deserted hallway in utter trepidation, a single doorway lying in the center of the shot.
My eyes blurred, and the shapes and pieces making up the world around me jumped in and out of place. The stretch of marble tile at my feet broke into thousands of splintered particles, flooding from the ground, to spin distractedly before my eyes. Each puzzle piece of the hallway distorting and cracking until everything around me only existed in jumbled disarrayed fragments. As if the world were melting and nothing left could be intact.
Pieces of glass cleared my vision, guiding my gaze to the one exception. The only thing that managed to be whole, glued to a surfaceless ground, and hanging amidst the pieces making up the frame. Focusing, I could see it, that single doorway floating in the maniacal of distorted shapes. The only thing in existence left, and the only thing in the world worth living for, resided just beyond.
My dead heart seemed to have swept up my throat, choking me momentarily as the severity of my actions ran through my head.
Bella's soft voice still drifted through my ears, her small quiet plea grainy and scattered over the crumbling reception of my cell-phone.
I knew I shouldn't have answered, that I wouldn't be able to resist her request. But guilt was raw inside of me and my reflexes took over, snatching the phone within the same millisecond that it buzzed.
I could make out the muffled cry of tears being spilt over the other end of the line. Could hear her struggling voice fractured and hushed, unrequited as she waited for my conventional greeting.
I couldn't answer; I could barely form a breath, or move my lips in the right shape to create a syllable. Guilt proved dominance over my senses and all I could do was listen, she might not even have known I heard her at all...
"Edward…?! Ed—ward…? I know your—there—" She stuttered, her voice caught and slight annoyance crept in her tone. Wind sliced the line, and random snippets of static mixed in with the faraway sting of her voice. Her words were already fading, the line slowly closing until only a slight whisper broke through the airwaves.
"Edward—please, come back." The whisper was a strangle of words barely connecting through the fragmented noise of static. But the words sliced through me, causing me to stop in my tracks, knocking my breath away and allowing me to speak, catching a note on the numbness of my futile tongue. But before I could open my mouth the line cut and the sting of dial-tone rang desolately in my ears. I turned back even before I remembered the reason I left.
But my motive to leave in the first place was now spinning through my head, dominating all reasoning and pushing Bella's plea farther away. Logic overcame the human emotions twisting my stomach in a knot of guilt.
This was nothing more then my want: To steal Bella away and hide her innocent eyes from this world. To protect her fragile skin from the harshness of the sun, the threats of my kind, and the diseases that overcame all human life. There was too much that could take her, the fear of that stabbed at my insides, sending a panic through me, muddling my judgment and throwing all sense away. Causing me to betray the only logic I had left, to change Bella before humanity's flaws stole her from me. But instead I rush right back to her side, unable to refuse her, instead inflicting the only true threat against her, myself.
The price of this choice flared in a rage of pain, impairing my vision in a relapse of forgotten torture. The soft wrinkle of lines between Bella's eyes, as she scrunched up her face in apparent pain. The distinct smell of sweat dripping down her back. The red in her cheeks displaying her dangerously high temperature. Her eyes, uneasy as she tried to focus on me.
Flickers of consequences and a future I could never live in flashed unrelenting through my eyes. Bringing all rational logic in perspective. I knew I should turn back — that I had to turn back if I wanted to avoid those consequences. It wasn't too late to return to my first choice, to change Bella before I had a chance of killing her.
But the world was collapsing before my eyes. The grain of the doorway shifted, and I knew if I waited any longer, the door would disintegrate as well, in turn erasing everything that existed behind it. And everything behind it was the only thing left worth living for.
Nausea still crept just beyond the surface of my skin. But my temperature returned to normal, and Carlisle reassured me that I just had a stomach bug, and to keep hydrated and well rested.
But it was impossible to rest, not while my pulse jumped along my throat, hammering out the constant thump of my heart, ringing in my ears.
An ache stronger then the throb of the headaches existed in me, growing larger and more painful each second. The only cure was if Edward returned and brought back my heart in the process.
I called him. It was the only solution I could think of. I tried to think through each scenario rationally. Running through Edward's side, knowing that nothing more then my own bad luck could possibly cause this problem. I could think of nothing more painful then Edward and I being forcibly separated by the barrier of our own brains.
I laughed in bitterness.
Alice thoroughly expected me to come up with the answers, putting to much faith in me and causing a swell of guilt to lump in my throat.
Before she left, she stroked my hair and leaned down, whispering in my ear. "Everything's going to be all right, I know it." she then peck my cheek and danced from the room, winking as she left.
Twisted answers danced before my eyes, like the impaired mirrors at a fun house, too many surfaces and too much distortion to find the truth in one faucet of glass.
I closed my eyes; feeling the touch of liquid, trickle down the silk of my cheek. I cried for my horrible luck, our unpromising situation and for Edward's guilt.
Edward's logic was becoming more and more reasonable. It was what I wanted, to never have to run through the charade of marriage, to just jump right into my new life as a vampire… But a sneaking suspicion, rising like the slow ease of bile crept along the base of my throat, my instincts cringing from this logic, knowing that it wasn't the right choice...
My wedding, the last event to commemorate my human life, the celebration of my true choice, immortality with the only person I could ever want.
To leave that choice even in theory, sent a chill of cold through me, causing a funny taste to scratch at the roof of my mouth and send flickers of itchy sensations to tickle my eyelashes, causing waves of tears to flood my cheeks.
And so I did the only thing left that I knew I shouldn't do.
I called him, and as simple as I knew it would ever be, I asked him to come back. As uncomplicated as that, knowing full well that Alice would never need to go to such a huge excruciating extent to have Edward come back. I knew all along that he would, he would come back with one simple plea. And though he didn't answer, I could already feel his presence touch the grain of wood just on the other side of the door.
The door knob was surprisingly cold in my grasp, confirming the sense of trepidation running along the nerves in my spine. Ignoring what I knew was right, and loosing all pretentious constancy, I turned the knob.
The click of it opening hung in the swirling air, allowing a thick sense of foreboding to raise the tiny hairs on my arm.
Only a thought, the tiny miniscule whisper of an uncontrolled observation. It pained me as much as I knew it pained her.
I pushed the door open.
Bella lay, just where I left her, in the hospitable bed alone.
Her face was streaked with dewy tears, causing strands of her hair to stick to her cheeks. Her face was painted red and her eyes impenetrably dark, as she met my gaze.
I cringed from her sight, shame ringing in my ears, trying desperately to keep my feet planted. But my rationality took control as I took an involuntary step back, putting unnecessary distance between us.
It was a plea, her thoughts quiet with only one word escaping through the barrier of her mind. The sound was twisted in emotion, even in her thoughts, her tone ringing with sadness, causing all rationality and logic to dispense, leaving only guilt and pain left, to break free and run to her side.
"Bella," I whispered, my voice strangled and caught. I fell at her side, raising her fingers to my mouth to greet a ghost of a kiss. I still couldn't meet her eyes, but I could feel her gaze stinging my bowed head. Using the hand I was assaulting in a kiss, she caught my chin and raised my head.
I closed my eyes, just as Bella cringed. Her face reflecting the pain of my mindless assault. My own declaration of a wish, penetrating her mind in a risk of her life.
"Bella," again, my voice cracked, "I'm so sorry." I whispered.
"Edward Cullen." She whispered, her thoughts asking for my eyes. Unwilling I lifted my gaze, finding the smallest release in the pit of my stomach, as my eyes fell upon hers.
The dark orbs smoldered in passion, the furrow of her brow showing me the anger she refrained. "This is not your fault—" I sucked in a breath, a denial already formed on my tongue.
"Bella," I said sternly, placing a quieting finger over her chapped lips. "I am the one interfering with your brainwaves, Alice is right; I'm literally attacking you… It's my personal nightmare masquerading as my own wish."
Bella tilted her head, her expression mystified.
He wished for this?
"Yes," I whispered, hating myself. "I've always wished for it. I've always wondered what you're thinking Bella." I hung my head, waiting for the scorn I deserved, the anger I knew was completely justified.
She caught my chin again; bringing both her scorching hands to hold my face in her feeble grasp. Her eyes were burning as she leaned down.
"Edward, a wish doesn't reprimand all logic. If this were just a wish, couldn't you just wish for it to be undone?" I furrowed my eyebrows. "Edward, maybe if you accepted my discrepancy… Could you live with my thoughts being a secret?" She cringed at the last catch of her sentence, lifting her hand to touch her aching temple.
Shame washed over me as I heard her try to cease the twinge in her thoughts, struggle to mask the cringe of pain. Just to spare me from guilt? I didn't deserve her.
"Of course I can live without hearing your thoughts Bella, you know I can. All I need is you." My voice was pitiful and waning, as if I were the one who needed her reassurance.
"Then stop." She whispered. "Stop listening to my thoughts. Block my mind and all the secrets that it holds. I can live without a wedding Edward, I can. All I need is you. But I don't want you to live in regret and I know you'll regret this if we rush the inevitable—" She closed her eyes to stop the scream threatening her throat, the pain bubbling and clawing at her insides.
She was in so much pain I could feel her body tremble, her fingers vibrating and slipping from my cheeks. The clatter of her teeth, the sweat sticking to her forehead drenching her clothes in wet. She balled up her fists and closed her eyes, trying to absorb the pain.
Her thoughts, always her thoughts, swirling loud in the air, stinging my ears and coming from every which direction. The ache and throb in each syllable, burning me from the depths of her prohibited mind, opened to me, tempting me like an offering of forbidden fruit.
I don't need her thoughts. I repeated in a constant stream of repetitive denial. I closed my eyes from Bella's face, twisted into an unrecognizable mask of suffering. Each time I listened to my own voice repeating the words, they grew smaller and smaller. The air grew quieter and quieter. The only source of sound was Bella's pain, impossible to ignore, growing louder and louder, bigger and bigger, like a black hole sourced from the center of her transparent mind. Each second bringing her closer and closer to the edge of fiery torture. My thoughts grew muddled and I forgot what I was saying, the only logic left was to run, to escape the imprisoning walls of Bella's thoughts, circling around me in an orb of infinite despair.
"Edward, I don't believe that you can hurt me." She whispered, her forehead beating in perspiration and her thoughts tangled in a distorted voice of unwavering agony.
"Bella, I have to go…" my voice was barely a whisper, my reflexes already coiled to dart from the room. I could feel the edge of reason fading and Bella's denial and my repetitive chanting, couldn't relapse something completely unexplainable.
No, don't leave me.
Her plea did not escape me, but snaked around me like an iron rope, holding me at her side in despair.
My wish, my grandeur of a twisted ambition. There really was no reason even for the dream of a hope, the touch of an endeavor; because I already have everything I could ever begin to hope for from this world.
I had Bella, and to begin to desire anything else, was past selfish but unreasonably and hopelessly desolate.
The only thing I ever wanted was for Bella to be happy. My wish was of no consequence, it was only a vane hope that I didn't believe would have a slightest chance of resolution.
And as impossible as I knew it was, I wished for a second wish.
"Bella" I whispered cradling her hand by her stuttering heart. "You need to block me from your mind. To build up the wall that use to exist in your mind. You have to try to obstruct me."
"I'm trying Edward, I just don't know how too..." her mind was consumed in a panic, her thought spinning, and her headaches growing unwaveringly.
The despairing denial and hopeless front washed away as I blocked her thoughts. Testing all my strength and holding no dissilience left.
She sighed, her face clouding over in unmistakable relief.
It is possible, it has to be, I thought as Bella's thoughts started to shrink into a vague outline of a whisper.
Bella's mind could only block mine if I allowed her too. I would always be stronger then her as a vampire, but I could allow her to overpower me. She has the power to override my uncompromising wish; she could build the wall in her own mind, only if I let her.
I wish I couldn't hear her thoughts.
She wasn't sick anymore, she was stronger, and her immune system was no longer under attack. She can subdue my thoughts. I kept repeating, consecutively through my mind, allowing my mind to get lost in my own thoughts, not letting any other sound distract me. Bella's heart slowed underneath my fingertips, and the quiet of the room consumed me, engulfing me in its comforting hush.
And that's all that was left, the sound of Bella's heart building in volume, and the sigh of her breath whooshing through her lungs. Not a whisper of a word obstructed the air.
I opened my eyes. Lifting my gaze to greet Bella's.
Her eyes was calm and the pain subsided and left her face.
Her chocolate-brown eyes smoldered. The hint of a smirk twisting her mouth, the indication of a secret burning deep in her eyes. Her thoughts reeling on the cusp of her mind.
And yet, no voice floated conveniently through my thoughts, willing to grant me her secrets. Silence built, as did the sound of her heart.
I found myself involuntarily leaning in, our eye-contact building in intensity, and an unconscious wish building deep in the pit of my stomach.
She greeted my lips eagerly, finding a fistful of my hair and locking me at her mouth. I could feel her smile against my lips, could feel the heat of her blush burn my cheeks. I pulled back resting my forehead against hers.
"Am I still a mystery?" she whispered coyly.
I leaned down until my lips met her cheek, allowing my lips to brush up and down her face as I nodded.
She smiled hesitantly, leaning further back in the pillows to catch my eyes. "You heard everything, right?" she said in a small voice, a red glow building in her cheeks, her eyes shifting in a buzz of embarrassment.
I chuckled, claiming her gaze by lifting her chin to my eyelevel. "It may have had horrible unimaginable, ramifications but it still was a wish come true."
She groaned but turned her head with the smallest smile on her lips as she greeted my waiting lips.
Hey guys, my last and final plea… Please Review! Review! Review! I appreciate everyone who takes the time to offer any sort of constructive criticism or even compliment… (Wait is that hoping too much?)
And don't worry this isn't the entire end…There will be an epilogue. Thanks to all my amazing constant reviewers and everyone whose added this story to there favorite / Alert lists. You have no idea how much I love you all.
Always with love
(You're respectively, crazy, genuine writer)