Star Wars: I do not the Star Wars galaxy or series: That all belongs to the amazing George Lucas, the team of experts that helped make his great movies, and those wonderful actors that portrayed these legendary characters!
Humor-fic, based after "A New Hope": Good farmboy Luke dislikes space pirate Han Solo calling him 'kid', it is up to strongwilled Leia to interfere in their childish arguements.
Don't Call me Kid
"Hey, kid?", the rougish Han Solo called back to the blonde farmboy, whom he considered something of a nusiance at times. A great many times, in fact. "Mind helping me and Chewwie out, or you just gonna sit on your bum all day and Jedi meditate?"
The gang, this is, Han, his partner Chewwie, Luke and Leia (and the robots, of course, but Han did not count them as people or passangers, espescially not the tall gold one), were all abord the Millenium Falcon following the Rebel Fleet to the planet of Hoth, where a secret rebel base was to be established. All the way they flew there, Luke had been focusing all his energy and attention on his Jedi skills. Now, it was starting to disturb close-minded Han greatly.
"I must concentrate of this...Ben said that this was an important part of being a Jedi, to steady onself with peaceful meditation."
"Oh, really? Well, that's jst dandy, ain' it? The old man told you to be a lazy bum instead of stepping up the plate and actually helping out around here.", Han glanced back at his young comrade. He was scowling at him all the while. "You disgust me."
"Please, be quiet."
From the tone in his voice, Han could tell that Luke was starting to get angry. At this realization, a huge grin swept across Han's face. Grinning madly, he continued to annoy his young friend. "Far be it from me to interupt such a spiritual moment...I mean, I am just not that kind of guy...I mean, I am full of spirituality...So much so that I am sure I would make a brilliant preist." When Luke snorted at this, Han knew he could continue. "Of course, that would mean no sex, couldn't have sex with Leia--"
"What?!", Luke completely lost his trance, and darting his eyes open, looked incredeously at his friend. "You're sick you know that?" Han laughed. "Why cause I think about sex? That's not sick, kid, that's natural."
"Do not call me, kid." Luke said angrily, sighing a moment later, "Look, if you really need a break, I'll fly for awhile while you rest or something...something like eat, I mean."
"Oh, I don't need a break, kid. I just want you to get off your lazy bum and do some work around here. Why don't you check the monitors or see how much farther we are from Hoth? Go fix Chewwie a fillet, just do something!"
"So, let me get this straight, you broke me out of my tranquility to tell me to do something and now there's nothing for me to even do?", Luke was glaring now, as he stood up.
"Basically...yes! But, I am sure Chewwie would actually enjoy a nice fillet. Am I right Chewwie?" The Wookie Chewbacca promptley responded in noises and tones that to Luke only sounded like a wounded dog. "Told yah so, kid."
"I will not make your lapdog a fillet, Han. And I will not answer to 'kid'."
"But--But, you just did, kid."
Luke finally lost his paitence, just as Han expected him to. "You're such a jerk, Solo. I am not going to be treated like this, not after all I've done for you, for this ship, for--"
As if exactly on time to stop poor Luke from overheating, Princess Leia hurried into the front of the ship. "What is going on in here? What's with all the noise--Oh, Luke, are you all right?" Walking up to him, she put delicately placed one hand on each shoulder in a friendly manner. For a moment, she glanced at Han with a look of sheer intolerance. "What did he do now?"
"Nothing, it's stupid."
"Not to me it isn't.", she said, smiling sweetly.
"He keeps calling me 'kid'. I tell him not to and--"
"Are you telling on me kid?!", Han burst out laughing, soon accompanied by the high-pitched squeals of Chewbaca.
"Oh! Just knock it off, Han!", Leia stormed away and called back to the others. "All of you need to grow up!"
"Eh, look, ki-Luke, I am sorry for bothering you so much you got your little lace panties in a knot, okay?", said Han as soon as he was able to stop laughing. "Why don't you take over piloting for awhile? I honestly could use a break."
"That is all you needed to say.", Luke replied, calm again, as he took over Han's seat.
Walking towards the back of the Falcon, Han mumbled. "Thanks a ton, kid.
Luke grinned broadly. "Don't call me 'kid'."