" All right, Hinata, go through the list once more time." ordered Anko. She and her new student were waiting by the village gate for Naruto.

" Step one, catch target off guard." sighed Hinata. She wished she didn't need the help of the person who had stolen Naruto from her to get Naruto, but she wasn't having any luck on her own. " Step two, quickly glomp, putting your hand to his fun parts to deter him from resisting. Step three, remove pants in the event any are present. Step four, push to ground, taking the top position."

" Perfect!" said Anko with a smile. " You'll be a fully qualified rapist in no time!"

Hinata blushed deeply at the thought as Naruto and Lee came into view. Her heart skipped a beat when Naruto saw her and ran up.

" Hinata! I wanted to thank you for the gift idea!" was what he said, but they only heard " Rawr!" Before Hinata could ask for clarification, Naruto suddenly hugged her. Hinata blushed a tone of red that matched Naruto's chakra, gave a contented sigh, and lost consciousness from pure joy.

" Rawr!" whimpered Naruto nervously as he realized she was out cold.

" Hmmm." said Anko, taking Hinata, who had a wide, goofy grin, away from him. " Looks like we need to get some more practice in. Well, she'll be back!"

Anko trotted off, leaving a very confused kitsune.

But that and everything else was forgotten when he saw a certain sign that proclaimed "Half Price Ramen Day."

At speeds that cannot be imagined, Naruto ran though the village, leaving a trail of drool as he went. The ramen stand came into view and he pounced onto a stool eagerly.

" Naruto!" said Ayame, smiling. " We were hoping you'd be by! First bowl is on the house!" Naruto made the little happy kitsune noise as she set the bowl in front of him. He was leaning over to take the first sip of the delectable broth when he felt a surge of blue chakra and the ramen stand vanished.

" NOOOOOOOOOOO!" he cried, falling to his knees as he appeared in a grassy field.

" Hey! Help me out!" cried that little annoying girl that had summoned him. Sniffling and wiping his tears away, he looked around. There was a shocked looking female jounin wearing earmuffs that only covered one ear, a shocked looking boy in blue with black hair, and an angsty looking girl in a pink outfit.

Even Naruto could recognize this as a cheap knockoff of him, Kakashi, Sakura, and Sasuke, just with genders and colors reversed. Naruto knew he'd need to put some sort of limit on Annoying Girl summoning him too much.

" Kit, if your going to summon me you better be able to pay." said Naruto grumping, crossing his arms.

" Pay?" asked the girl in pink, looking confused. " I did the whole thumb biting thing! Isn't that enough?!"

" I meant ramen." said Naruto, licking his lips. " You want me to do something, you better have a bowl ready."

" Not to interrupt….but did she really summon you?" asked the jounin.

" At a bad time, too." sighed Naruto. " I was just about to have lunch. At least Anko wasn't having her way with me when this happened. That would have been embarrassing."

He resisted the urge to chuckle as the Lightning ninja blushed, imagining what it would have been like.

" But how a I supposed to have ramen ready?" asked the annoying girl, snapping out of it.

" I don't know. Just have some, kit." shrugged Naruto.

" I guess this technique's not going to get the bells from sensei, then." sighed the girl.

" Nope." said Naruto, smiling as the jutsu ceased. He suddenly found himself back at the ramen stand, where the bowl was till waiting. He happily dug in, the small annoyance forgotten.


Hinata woke up.

With no Naruto.

" FUCKTACULAR!" she swore, leaping from her bed. " Fan-fucking-tacular! I had him! He kissed me! And I fainted, god dam it!"

" What is going on in here?" demanded her father, barging in.

" Get the fuck out." said Hinata, eyes glowing red.

" 'k bye!" said her father, waving as he fled. Hinata stormed around her room for a while, swearing profusely. She felt a little hungry, so she decided to do some evil. She went to Neji's room and found him gone, so she entered and walked over to a cage that held Neji's prize pet.

( Reviewer In the Story Time!)

Greg. Greg the bunny.

Neji couldn't live without that little rabbit keeping him sane. His father had given it to him, and he often talked about how the rabbit was his most prized possession. The poor bunny quailed in fear as the dark form of Hinata loomed over it, kunai and fork in hand.

" I bet you squeal real nice."


Naruto yawned, still feeling tired from the fast paced trip to Suna. It was midday, but he felt sleepy.

Meaning, it was naptime.

Until he was poofed of to Lightning Land.

" Here's your stupid ramen!" said annoying girl, forcing the bowl to his face. Sleepy but not willing to turn down free ramen, Naruto began to slurp up the noodles.

" It's amazing you can summon something like that." said the woman with the partial earmuffs, looking over Naruto while the genin watched. " Are you a full demon?"

" Nope. Half demon." said Naruto in a matter of fact tone.

" Ah. That explains why you aren't a gigantic killing machine and don't completely look like a fox." said the jounin with a sigh.

" Let me guess." said Naruto, pointing to the earmuffs. " You have some sort of special ear that lets you do all these awesome things but you can't use it all the time."

" Correct." said the jounin with a smile.

" She's looking for the person who killed her family and also has the freaky ears, he's obsessed with her, and she's annoying." said Naruto, pointing to the angsty pink girl, the love stuck boy with black hair, and the annoying girl with blonde hair in turn.

" Quite true."

" Wow. Lame." said Naruto mysteriously, reclining on his tails. " So, did you just call me here to give me ramen?"

" No, I want you to get the bells from sensei!" shouted the annoying girl angrily.

" Did you three try working together? That's the point of the test." said Naruto, feeling lazy. From the shocked look on the genin's faces, they had not.

" Well drat. Since they know about teamwork they're going to pass." sighed the jounin. " Congrats on being the first team I ever accepted."

" We did it!" said the annoying girl jumping into the air and celebrating.

" Nap time." said Naruto, lying back on the bed his tails made.

" Great summon you have there." said the black haired boy with a laugh.

" Come on! If he'd do something, it'd be awesome!"

" Fine!" snarled Naruto, rolling onto his feet. " What's your favorite place to eat?"

" The sushi stand!" the girl replied enthusiastically.

" I'm gonna go squish it. See ya." said Naruto with a evil smirk before racing off. He head the whines and shouts of protest before he got out of sight and found himself a nice, quiet corner in a back alley to nap in. He didn't really want to destroy the sushi stand, but it would make the girl more respectful.

" D-demon!" cried someone.

" I'm TRYING to take a nap!" he roared at the terrified ninja. " What the hell is wrong with you people! Five minutes! That's all I ask!"

" Your not here to destroy the village?" asked a ANBU, landing by him with a dozen other ninja.

" Not unless you guys keep waking me up." said Naruto with a sigh. " Besides, I'm the new head kitsune. I'm trying to get rid of the negative image my predecessor created for us."

" ….?"

" The Kyuubi. You know, killing a bunch of people and stuff? I just want some ramen in exchange for doing what the annoying girl in the pink jumpsuit tells me to do and my nappy time." he explained, lying his head down. " Please?"

"….sure?" said the ANBU, scratching his head.

" Hey! Bastard fox! Get back here!" cried the annoying girl, coming into view.

" Nasuko…" sighed one of the ninja that Naruto recognized as the teacher from the academy that was a blatant Iruka rip off.

" Hey! Why the hell did you run off!" said Nasuko, racing over to Naruto angrily, ignoring the crowd.

To the relief of everyone assembled, Naruto clamped a tail over her mouth.

" First thing, I'm the nine tailed fox. I could end you with a sneeze." said Naruto in a threatening tone. " Two, a pink jumpsuit? What kind of ninja wears that? Third, emo girls going to get a evil hickey during your chunnin exam."

The look on everyone's face was priceless.

" Now, do not EVER call me unless you have a large amount of ramen that you want eaten, are in a life threatening situation, or want me to take public relations off of my list of things to improve."


" That means eating everyone in the village."

Nasuko, understanding, nodded. Naruto sighed as he let her go and put his head down onto a soft tail for a nap.

" One last thing." said Nasuko, snapping Naruto's eyes awake. " How come your half demon?"

" I used the Sexy Technique too much." sighed Naruto, making up a plausible lie. The girl looked shocked and he got a number of thankful looks from the villagers.

" Waiiit, your lying!" said the girl accusingly.

I guess I should transform or something. he thought, sitting up. Let's give this a try….He focused on the form he wanted to change to like he did in usual Henge's and to his surprise, he changed. Stupid fox could have told me it was that easy!

Needless to say, jaws dropped when a beautiful nude Nasuko appeared.

" Pervert!" cried Nasuko.

" You one to talk." said Naruto, folding his arms in his new shape. Nasuko was blushing heavily, as anyone would when a adult version of them was putting their body on full display. " Hey, I'll leave this form if you show my your Sexy Technique."

" Deal!" There were two puffs of smoke as Naruto changed back and a muscular, nude version of his old body appeared.

" Sweet." said Naruto, admiring how awesome he would have looked. Heck, since I can change now, it won't be hard to look like I used to now.

And with that, he was sent back to Kohona.

" Rawr!" roared Naruto, surprising several people who passed by. Time to be Naruto again! He focused like he did before, but to his shock nothing happened.


Two hours of anger later, Naruto arrived at his newly rebuilt apartment. He'd finally figured out what happened: He could use the sexy technique since it was fox-based (the old stories about foxes changing into women sprung to mind), but he couldn't transform normally. In effect, he could become a girl whenever he felt like it for as long as he wanted

Screw that. I'm already in a weird body. he thought, walking through his front door.

" Here's your test." said Ibiki, handing a piece of paper to him.

" Rawr?"

" It's all we got. Anko toilet-papered the Hokage's tower, so you have to use that. Be careful, we each only get two sheets."

Figures he thought as his stomach began to gurgle.