Disclaimer: If I owned Greys, there'd be more ridiculous moments like that one in the show. It'd probably ruin everything, but it'd be fun.

Pairing: Addex. Mentioning Addek, Maddison and - oddly enough - Preston/Addison.

Summary: Addison is making a list of all the pros and cons of the many guys in her life. Who's gonna win? And what does Joe have to do with it?

Set: After 'Desire'. Let's just pretend Addie didn't go to LA, but to Joe's instead.

A/N: Okay, this is honestly the most horrible thing I have ever done, and I love it. I don't really think I should start this, but it's not a big things and plain hilarious, so it won't be that hard to update. Will have one or two more chapters.

I really hope you'll enjoy this as much as I do! Please review and check out my McBlog for further ramblings!


Pros and cons

Dr Addison Forbes Montgomery Ex-Shepherd is making a list. Which might seem like a quite ordinary thing to do, for there are many different sorts of lists that can be made. For example, a shopping list or a list of the patients you need to see. But those are very ordinary lists. And if you ever even look in Addison's general direction, you'll know there's no way in hell that woman is anything along the lines of ordinary. And the list she's currently making? It's a list that-... well, lists (pun intended) the pros and cons of all the men in her life. Let's take a closer look, shall we?

My (I'm refusing to use Mc)Guys

Derek:

pro

-we used to be happy

-great hair

-parents love me

con

-boring sex

-underneath the dreaminess, he's a jackass

-is dating the perfect 12-year-old

-divorced me

-I cheated on him with his best friend (-- Mark)

-hates me

-we have a past, but neither present nor future

-years of absence and ignoring me

-wouldn't take me back

-don't want him back

Mark:

pro

-we still have awesome sex

-yummy to no end

-doesn't have parents who could hate me

-was there for me when Derek wasn't

-thinks he loves me

-lives at my hotel

-came to Seattle for me

con

-cheats

-is a manwhore

-I aborted his baby

-I cheated on my (ex-)husband (-- Derek) with him

-definitely not the kids and barbecue type

-we tried and failed

-don't want him for more than the occasional booty call

Preston:

pro

-doesn't hate me

-I'm allowed to call him 'Preston'

con

-has an angry, scary girlfriend who could and would kill me

Alex:

pro

-disturbingly hot

-wears black wife-beaters

-says perfect things

-guy to work and play with

-would be an awesome neonatal surgeon

-he's a real challenge

-adorable with kids

-absolutely infuriating

-gave Mark a vanilla latte, 'cause he'd been rude to me

-would notice if I went missing

-had hot on-call room sex with me

-almost kissed me in the NICU

-I kissed him at this very bar and it was the best first kiss ever

-working with him makes my day, every day

-according to Callie he's the kids and barbecue guy

-a total and utter mystery

-surprises me every day

-is underneath the surface the sweetest, most caring, most wonderful, best damn guy I ever met, whether I like it or not

-I want him and noone else

con

-is my intern

-might be in love with a patient

-is 12 years old

-is a manwhore

-sends out mixed signals all the time

-yelled at me

-absolutely infuriating

-scared and angry

-dumped me after hot on-call room sex

-background unknown

-I need more martinis now than before I met him

Yeah, that is Addison's list. She's writing it at The Emerald City Bar, by the way, absolutely drunk. The owner of said bar, a certain gentleman named Joe, is right now in the process of asking:

"What are you doing?"

This is when Addison downs the rest of her fifth martini, then goes back to writing and answers:

"I am making a list of all the guys in my life, because they're stupid and I'm confused."

Is that a grin on the bartender's face? We don't know. What we do know is that he quickly snaps the napkin the redhead has been writing on out of her hands. Which is something Joe usually doesn't do. Usually, he smiles his knowing smile and leaves his customers be. Let them tell him if they want to. This time, it's different.

He reads the napkin while Addison stares at him, confused by the sudden movement (she's drunk, after all). More than once, a grin appears on his face. Then he hands it back to Addison.

"Wait, I'll get you something."

"A martini?", Addison asks, quirking her brow the way she always quirks her brow.

"That, too."

Joe disappears behind the counter after having given the redhead another drink. When he shows up again, he has an couple of other napkins in his hand. Apparently, Addison is not the first to write her troubles down on the next best piece of paper while they're drunk.