Hey, wrote this the other night after watching way too many episodes of Scrubs in a row. Just a conversation between Elliot and everyones favourite Janitor, set sometime after the wedding and before the first episode of season 4 I guess.

Hope you like.

I own nothing, obviously.


A good days work done the Janitor smiled to himself as he wheeled his trolley down the hall. He'd already almost given the annoying doctor Dorian a concussion using a wet floor and had reduced Fanny Pack doctor to tears just by looking at him. Along the way he'd managed to perform all his duties for the day as well, time for a well deserved nap on his toilet roll bed.

Opening his closet and pushing the cart inside he was surprised to find a someone crying in the corner.

"There a problem here?" The person started and turned towards him, revealing blond doctor - eyes red rimmed and mascara streaking down her cheeks. "Oh, I'm sorry. Didn't realise it was you."

"I'm so sorry," Elliot sniffed, smearing mascara even further down her cheeks as she wiped her tears. "I'll get out of your way."

"No, no worries. It's just not everyday I find a pretty girl crying in my closet." He smiled at her but she just sobbed once more and turned away. He shut the door behind himself and shoved the cart into it's corner. "Come on what's wrong?"

"I don't want to bother you with my problems Janitor. I'm sure you have work to do." The Janitor laughed, cutting himself short when her eyes teared up once more and she slid down to sit against the wall, pulling her knees to her chest and burying her face in them.

"No, sorry, it's just the idea of me doing any kind of work, it cracks me up." He apologised, when Elliot just sniffed once more he sighed and walked over to sit down next to her stretching his long legs out in front of him. "Come on, I haven't found you in one of my closets in years, I remember a time when you'd be in here once a week, I've kind of missed you really."

"Really?" She looked up at him with big watery eyes.

"Yeah of course. It's the reason I still keep these in here." He produced a box of tissues from the shelf next to him and handed her one. They smiled at each other for a moment, "So what's happened to send you back in here? It must be something bad."

"Why do I keep doing this to myself?" She sniffed into the tissue. "Every year we dance around each other and then one of us ends up getting crushed." The Janitor frowned, damn it she was talking about Dorian, that little brat always hurt her. "This time though, I can't believe I gave up everything for him, and he turned around and just threw it, me away."

"Dorian again?" He grimaced, watching as she tore the tissue into tiny pieces.

"I know, I'm pathetic." She groaned and banged her head back against the shelf behind her.

"No, no, he's pathetic, not you." She smiled at that, it made him feel warm inside. He nudged her with an elbow. "It's true don't laugh." He picked up a spray bottle labelled ammonia. "You want a drink? Don't worry, It's whiskey."

"No i'm good." She shook her head. "Kelso frowns on drunken doctors."

"Alright, your loss." He sighed taking a squirt for himself. "So tell me what he did this time?"

"He told me he loved me, I left a perfect life with Sean, a guy I really liked to take a chance with JD. Things were going great for a while, I thought we had moved on and that we would finally make it work. Then at Carla and Turk's rehearsal dinner of all places, he tells me that he doesn't love me." Her voice hitched and broke as she got teary eyed again.

"Carla is nurse scary right? And Turk is the cue ball surgeon?"

"Yes. I'm so stupid, why do I let him do this to me?" She sniffed and leaned her head against his shoulder, Janitor looked down at the top of her head for a moment before replying.

"I honestly have no idea, I'm convinced that he's evil." She snorted and elbowed him. "I do know that he's an idiot though." He pondered the problem for a moment before continuing. "Maybe he has some kind of mind control powers." She snorted and giggled, he smiled down at the top of her head then shifted and put his arm around her shoulder in a half hug. "I caught him watching you with that dolphin guy at the wedding, he seemed skittish I wondered what that was about. Did you get Dorian back?"

"Oh yeah, I couldn't let him humiliate me like that. I pushed him over a table, food and plates flying everywhere, it felt damn good." They both laughed at that.

"Nice! See now you know why I do it, it's therapeutic." He smiled down at her. "I'm proud of you."

At that moment the closet door began to open and the noise of the hospital intruded on their solitude, the Janitor felt Elliot tense up beside him, hiding her face once more as the light cast across the room.

"Shut the damn door!" The Janitor bellowed and the door halted half open. "Now or I swear you wont have the arms to open another door ever again!" An apology was stuttered by a nervous intern and the door slammed shut once more. "And knock next time!"

"Sorry about that, I keep meaning to electrify the door knob or get a lock or something." When he got no response he carried on, in a quiet voice asking, "So he's really hurt you this time?"

"Yeah. I probably should have seen this coming." That brat had made her cry almost as often as Cox had, The Janitor hated him for it, especially because she always felt it was her fault somehow.

"Hey this wasn't your fault, it's all on him. Everyone knows he wants what he can't have." She nodded against his shoulder. "If you want I could kill him?" He offered, only half joking.

"Aw, thank you. I'll have to consider that one?"

"Yeah sure, anytime. You've got one free kill Dorian card, redeemable anytime." She laughed and smiled up at him. "I warn you though that I'll be paying him back either way." He told her seriously.

"Thank you, that means a lot." They sat in silence for a few minutes.

"I have an idea that'll cheer you up. I almost forgot, I drugged him earlier, he'll be dead to the world for at least 12 hours…" She looked up at him confused and slightly alarmed, the Janitor shrugged, "I got bored, what can I say. I got help from Cox with dosage, he shouldn't die or anything." he reassured her. Elliot nodded in understanding "We could shave his head?" The Janitor asked hopefully.

"That does sound like fun but I don't know…" Elliot laughed wiping the dried makeup and tears from her face, he passed her another tissue without comment.

"Come on, it'll be fun. If you want I'll gladly take the blame. We could tattoo our names on his neck?" He thought for a moment. "Wait, I don't have the equipment here. Hmm we could paint him blue?"

"You know what? That definitely sounds like fun. Where did you leave him?"

"Storage closet on the second floor. I was gonna go back, wrap him in a full body plaster cast and leave him in a patients room but luckily there was a spillage on this floor that required my attention."

"Okay then." She giggled. "You've convinced me, let's do it."

"Ahh, excellent." The Janitor jumped up and pulled her to her feet. "I'll get the paint!"

"Wait!" She grabbed his arm as he moved to root for the paint. "I want to thank you again, you're always around to cheer me up when everyone else gets me down."

"Don't worry about it. It's a pleasure. We're a family here right? Gotta look out for each other and all that."

"Still," Elliot reached up grabbing his lapels to pull him down to her level. "Thank you." She said and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"Er, y-your welcome?" The Janitor blushed and coughed as his voice cracked. They stood there for a moment staring at each other.

"So, where do you keep the paint?" Elliot asked. He pointed at a shelf on the far side of the room and she skipped over to it enthusiastically.

Once her back was turned the Janitor sighed and ran his fingers over his cheek with a smile. Now it was an extremely good day, tormenting Dorian and cheering up blonde doctor - two of his favourite things, he'd even gotten a kiss. He watched her as she rooted through the shelf looking at the different colours with a smile on his face.

"What colour would you recommend?" She asked turning to catch him watching her. "What?"

"Nothing, nothing." He coughed in response. "Let's take a look here, "He walked over to join her, moving some cans aside. "Red takes a long time to wash off if I remember right but… Here we go, yellow I'd recommend that. Seems appropriate somehow." They laughed together as they loaded up the cart with paint cans and headed off to the second floor where their prey slept unawares and probably dreaming of unicorns.


Yeah so. Thanks for listening.

Feedback would be much appreciated. This is the first time I've ever done this though so go easy on me.