A very special crack fic for an amazingly special friend, and best buddy ever!
Chailyn- my best fluffified courtney snuggle lump haha xxxxxxxxxxx
this is for you xxxxxxxxxxxxx
hope ya like.
Dedicated and in honour of such an amazing author- Chailyn- go right now and check her stuff you'll be mind blown, she can write anything!
Summary: It's the worst hunt of all time, they never thought they'd face together, espcially not their opponents, and their own team were crazy.
Stars courtney and me, the brothers and ...oh no! evil barbie preppy bitches!
warning: language and violence ensue haha
Disclaimer: yeh, ahuh...and then he just handed em over to me, sure im sane, see i have a certificate i can get out of a straight jacket, neat skill huh
"Sammy be quiet! they'll hear us..." Dean snapped, when twigs gave way under Sam's footing.
"What exactly are we hunting?" Sam whispered, Courtney walking behind him, so quiet he didn't even know she was there.
"Barbies!" Fiona yelled, all three span around and shushed her. "What...we are!"
Hiding behind a large bush, they witnessed the scene before them, their hunt around a campfire. well a laptop image of a moving campfire...amateaurs.
"Oh my god...Alison, I can't find a plug around here..." The bleached blonde who had just spoke looked around. "Like where's the lights?"
Courtney and Fiona brought their hands up and slapped their foreheads as one. "Awww geees. they're friggin stupid!" Dean laughed at that, Courtney had style.
"They're in the bloody woods, what do they expect to find!"
"I know, this is too dangerous..." Courtney sighed. That earned a snigger from Sam and Dean.
"What?" Fiona said, hushed.
"How can it be dangerous, and why is this even a hunt?...you said there were 'mind eating beasts that made people insane' I'm not seeing em'." Dean said.
Courtney sighed again and pointed through the bush.
"They are beasts, are you blind?"
"They're leggy blondes out to have fun." Dean grinned.
"They're leggy blondes that are really beasts...and airheads." Courtney smiled, then scowled. "You like them."
Dean's heart nearly froze. "No..no...n-no...of course not." He swallowed.
"Good." She chirped and turned to Sam, then frowned.
"What are you doing?"
"Putting pig tails in Sam's hair, it's so soft and fluffy...don't you just wanna' take a nap in it!" Fiona smiled.
"Courtney glanced at Sam and the upright pigtails "It's a nice look for you."
"We gotta' get out there and stop them...you bring the coffee?"
"Yep." Courtney nodded to Fiona.
"Great, Dean go with Courtney, Sam...well I know what I want you to do...but back us up with the slud gun.."
"Sludge and mud, they practically hate the stuff...slud gun." Courtney handed him a silver automatic.
"Ok I'll go out there and spray the coffee, ruin their make-up...then we all move in, watch out guys this could get bad."
Dean and Sam just frowned but followed the orders.
Courtney jumped out of the bush and sprayed the group of four girls with the water pistol full of coffee.
They all screamed and ran to get their mirrors.
Fiona emerged with a large brown sack and smiled, english accent gleaming. "You're mirrors met my sledge hammer."
The girls shreiked again and huddled together.
Dean stomped out. "What the hell's goin' on?...they didn't do anything!"
"DEAN!" Courtney and Fiona yelled.
"Like Mr...could you help us these freaks messed up our hair!"
"And like...it's all dark and woodsy...is there snakes?"
"Yeah, and moutain lions and bears and wolves..." Courtney laughed at their horrified screams.
"You're a bully." Dean shook his head. "You got a grudge on them or something?"
Suddenly Dean was flung backwards by one of the girls and Sam ran to help, another blonde caught his arm and swung them round together while the third tied a strong rope around them and knocked the backs of their knee's, the brothers fell down together in a sitting position, tied at the chest.
Fiona stared at the sky.
"Fi...language, the blondes might hear it...well you'd imagine their conversations."
They both pondered in thought, then shivered.
"Yeah, sorry sis."
"Sorry to break up the heartfelt moment, but could you untie us?" Dean yelled.
"Nope. You wouldn't listen now they've got you...they can't touch us...just men." Fiona giggled when Courtney smiled, that showed them.
Sam mumbled, face down "I hate it when you're wrong Dean."
The four blondes circled the brothers.
"What should we do with them?"
"Maybe we could play hide and seek."
"Do you want a pillowfight?"
"OK." they all screamed.
Courtney winced, now that was nails on a chalkboard.
One of the blondes appraoched her, she was nearly blinded by the orange foundation.
"Well you're stupid." Courtney said.
"Like a little dolly."
"I'll stick your little dolly right-"
"Courtney!" Fiona said harshly, "If I'm not allowed neither are you."
"Ok, you can go mental."
"Really!?" Fiona squeaked and jumped up and down.
"Yeah, get your sun beamed face away from me." Courtney snapped and the blonde moved away.
"Fiona, you know what to do." Courtney cocked her water pistol with a dull pump frowned, it wasn't exactly the comforting sound of weaponry.
Stepping forward, Fiona moved to the two girls nearest her, ruffling up her sleeve and tensing her shoulder, she sneered.
"You're going down plastics."
Courtney admired her tough attitude as she confronted the evil barbie people, but that was short lived.
Turning to face to her own two enemies she heard a girlish high pitched scream and Fiona ran past her shaking.
"They've got glitter!" She ran on.
Courtney's eye' windened as she ducked and rolled with almost combat precision.
Dean whistled,she must've been in the army, wow...what moves.
Some of the glitter landed on Dean's shoe and he guessed what the hell they were so scared about it, when pink fluffy vines entwined themselves around his leg and flowers began to grow and pop up all around him, his nails grew long and bright pink, he felt wetnes on his lips and saw stark pink hairs curl from his forehead.
Fiona stared in horror...they were turning Dean into a girl!
Dean started screaming and Sam tried desperatley to get away, he didn't want to be pink-a-fied like his brother.
"COURTNEY! THE COFFEE!"
In a spinning action Courtney threw up the water pistol over the boys heads and pulled out her revolver, aiming with dead accuracy she fired and the coffee exploded in a raining shower over them.
The pink fluff and hair and nails dissolved and Dean inhaled the beautiful scent of coffee.
The brother's untied their ropes and stood with the girls.
Dean muttered a 'thanks' under his breath and Fiona removed her phone with a devilish grin. "Got that! hahaha..the great Dean Winchester apologizing, every woman will want this copied and sent by next christmas."
Courtney aimed and fired the remainder of the coffee on the advancing blonde and she exploded...all over the trio.
Courtney smiled. "Hey, I didn't get juiced."
Dean, Sam and Fiona shook it off with a 'yuck' and 'ewww' and trotted back to get more weapons, apparently certain brotherly idiots had lost the slud guns.
Sam spun just in time to catch a claw to the face by a very light haired blonde with extra long fake nails.
But it didn't do anything
"Is that a drink?"
"Sam insult them!" Fiona yelled as she ran by with a trail of tiny dogs yapping and growling.
"er...um...you have a zit.." he hesitated but the blonde stopped, face paled and scrambled for a mirror, when she realized they'd all been broken she couldnt stand it and exploded right over Sam.
Each dog made a popping noise when its owner blew up, and Fiona could finally stop running. "Bloody bastards, I hate running...have you not noticed I'm lazy!" She searched round for Dean and Courtney and saw Dean cowering behind her best friend.
Fiona frowned. "Flippin' Winchesters."
Sam grabbed her arm and they ran toward Dean and Courtney.
Sam scooped up a handful of dirt and threw it over the two but only one met her demise.
"She must be the queen!" Courtney yelled, they were out of ammo and they couldn't hold it off any longer.
"As in queen bee, prom queen?" Dean smiled.
"She's a whore!" Courtney yelled in her face but the last remaining blonde only shrank back. "I'll push you off the face of the earth!" Courtney got madder and madder. Fiona pulled the brothers to a safe distance away as she let her friend have the last kill.
It was going to be memorable.
"I thought the earth was flat, like on a map...it doesn't have a face, stupid."
"Oh dear god, no...she shouldn't have said that..." Fiona winced.
Dean and Sam cowered behind Fiona, when she jerked and hid behind them, it followed on until they were all back to back behind the bush they had started from.
"what's she gonna' do?"
" I don't wanna watch it." Fiona shuddered.
"I AM NOT STUPID!"
"AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...just die already!"
The blonde tutted, "You're so depressive, all this death talk."
"BECAUSE YOU WON'T DIE!" Courtney screamed, hands extended, if there was a god...just why!
"You're mean for a short stupid girl."
Fiona's heart stopped. "She's gonna' die...cover your ears boys." But Fiona got up and ran further into the forest. "C'ya." She began climbing a large tree.
The brothers frowned, "What's so bad?"
Courtney's face grew redder and redder, imagined tearing into her like clay.
Picking up a log she swung hard and true, into her own head.
"You're driving me crazy!"
"Well you look crazy, why is your hair dark, you need highlights or blusher!" The blonde squealed.
Courtney pulled her fist back and swung with the spin of her body. Hate and anger pummeled with her to the blondes expression...well that just egged her on.
Her fist met soft flesh that gave way and in a huge surrounding wave that imploded then cast out miles of orange goo.
Now the brother's knew why.
Stomping through the brush Courtney flicked the goo off her face and sighed.
"I feel better." She huffed, face calming.
"Erm...unm...we're glad for you." Sam shakily stood. Goo sloshing where they stood.
"Nice moves." Dean said, edging away slowly.
"let's go back to the car." Courtney said.
They followed her back a few yards when she suddenly stopped.
A rustle and a large thud erupted in front of them and a leg popped up out of a bush.
"I thought I said last hunt not to climb trees, you always fall." Courtney shook her head and moved on.
"I didn't fall..."
"Then what?" Courtney turned.
Fiona simply pointed up.
The group glanced up, dozens of black beady eyes stared down.
A nut bounced off Courtney's head and her eyes almost turned red.
"BASTARD SQUIRRELS!" She screamed.
There was a flurry in the tree above, and Courtney raced up the various trunks to the top. She was gonna get the bloody spadges.
"I'll go get some guns..." Fiona troddled off.
Dean and Sam just stared.
What the hell did these girls hunt?