Okay, this is my first JTHM fic, (unless you count that one JTHM-Zim crossover I did, but I only used lines from the Director's Cut for Nny, so it really doesn't count.)
N E way, I don't know about you, but I LOVE whatchin' Nny and Squee interact, it's so cool how Nny will protect Squee while simultaneously traumatising him. Don't worry though, this isn't all about Nny and Squee, though it starts out that way. Also I'm well aware of the general mindlessness of the ending. So here goes.

P.S. This is supposed to be pre-issue 6. And "sporky" is not a typo for spookey, you'll know when you come to it.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I'm not Jhonen, BE-LIEVE me, you'll be able to tell THAT when you read this fic.


5:15 PM
I kept my head down as I walked. The wall was getting soft again, and I was headed over to the newly-rebuilt Cafe le Prick to run a little "errand." I stopped upon hearing the not-unfamilar sound of mocking laughter behind me. /Oooo, goody/ I thought, /maybe I won't have to walk all the way to the cafe./
I turned to locate the laughter's soon-to-be headless sorce, only to find it hadn't been directed at me after all.

"Heh heh heh, you suck Squeak, you are stupid just like some stupidy stupid thing. You do stupidy smart things that make me feel dumb, so I will push you now." The inexplicibly balding third-grader shoved the object of his ridicule hard. I recognized the be-shoved' individual, it was that little Squee who lived next door. Anger boiled up in my brain like noodles. Mmm, noodles. I reached inside my trenchcoat, but paused. Children or no children, they were cruel, dispicable, mindless animals, but... could I really bring myself to kill them? Was I really that far gone?

Squee was now lying facedown on the sidewalk, not even fighting back at all. He looked so beaten. I wondered if I ever looked like that when I was his age. Who knows? My head itched. It hurt to look at him, he looked so sad. /Fook, I'm emapathizing,/ I thought, /I'm putting a stop to this./ I walked across the street to them. "Hey! Y'know, when I was your age, I probably was a lot more well-mannered than you." One of the tougher-looking kids scoweled at me. "You stink Mr. man, you big sack of poop, you aren't my dad, who abuses me and causes me to lash out at others." I grinned down at him, and his smile slipped a notch, causing me grin wider. He started looking at me nervously. I liked that.

"You know lately, I've been doubting a few things. Well, actully, I've been doubting a few things for as long as I remember, which isn't very long, but that isn't the point." I let this sink in and was met with bewildered looks. "I'm not sure if I'm fucked up enough to do certain... things to kids your age, but WHO," I paused long enough to draw a 11" knife slowly out of my coat, "wants to stick around and find out?"

Hmm, none of them did. I bent over so I was face to face with Squee, who had gotten up by now. He did that cute little thing where he shrinks back, just like a little monkey. I like monkeys.

"H-hi," he said, "um, you didn't hurt any of those kids did you?" "No," I said, "though they'd have certainly deserved it, I'll wait 'till their older." I grinned wide, and Squee did the shrinky thing again. What a nice little Squee.

"Soooooooooooooooooo, howzitgoin?" I asked, trying to sound casual. Squee was hugging a ball of fluff very tightly. "Um, well, I made a new friend, but a dog ate him, so now I'm alone again." I nodded sympathetically. "That really is a shame, but hey, you still have me!" I grinned, hoping to cheer him up. He squee'd. MAN my head itched. Suddenly I remembered the wall. "Oh, I have to go now Squee, I have... stuff, to do. Seeya!" I ran off.

8:30 PM
"Dear Die-ary, today I found a rock that looked at me. I ran and ran and ran, and I thought I had lost it, but when I turned around, there it was! I hit it with a piece of wood until it stopped. I also saw that neighbor kid today, he made squeaking sounds. He's a good kid, I sure hope he doesn't end up like one of the many sad sacks who have made my life so very unpleasent thus far." *You'd rather he end up like you, maybe?*

Phsyco Doughboy, he'd been pretty quiet so far today, I knew it wouldn't last, nothing lasts. I looked at him coldly. "Of course I don't, why would I want him to be the kind of person who talks to styrafoam?" *That WOULD be a step down from that bear he talks to, wouldn't it?* /That goddamn lying bear of his./ I thought.

"All little kids talk to their toys, I think. I probably did when I was his age." *How do you know what you did when you were his age? You were probably as fucked-up then as you are now. Or, if you weren't, then that must mean that you are getting steadily worse, so why continue? End this decline.* I cupped my hands over my ears, though I knew it wouldn't help. I stood and turned to leave. *Where are you going? Does it involve a cliff?* Phsyco D asked hopefully. "Fuck you." I said pleasently, "I'm too thirsty to kill myself." *So get a brainfreezy first, I'll wait.* I looked back, then continued walking. "I'm going out." I said simply. *Stay away from those cliffs!* Eff called out behind me. I left him in suspense, suspense is exciting.

9:15 PM
I was sitting on a park bench when my eyelids did that thing they do every couple of months. Y'know, where they start to close even though you're still looking at stuff. I had to work hard to keep them open, but it was neccisary. The eyelid thing is usually a precursor to sleep. Then my eyes started hurting. That was good, pain reminds you that you're awake. I sat for a hour or so without blinking. Things started looking funny. It was getting cold out, but that was fine with me. My head still itched and my eyes hurt. Ow my eyes hurt. Owowowowowowowowowowowowowowowow....

1:45 AM
..owowowowowowowowowowowowowowow. My butt was starting to hurt too, from sitting still for four and a half hours. Maybe I should walk around for a while, I didn't want to go home and hear about why I should kill myself just now. I stated to walk and look up at the stars. I liked stars, even if I had to be alone under them. But maybe I should have been looking where I was going, and not up at the stars, which I like, because at that moment I walked into a telephone pole. (A/N: Does that happen a lot in my fics?) "Nice one faggot!" I heard, followed by that mocking laughter. I looked around and saw a real asshole driving a convertable, but since I was on foot, I couldn't catch up to him. I was about to walk away, when I noticed something. /A stoplight,/ I thought, /must be my lucky day./

"Excuse me, but I couldn't help but notice you taking it upon yourself to degrade me for your own sick sense of amusment." I said, standing next to the temperarily stopped car. He scowled at me. "What doYOU want?" he asked. No apology, no explanation, just 'what do you want' Ah well, can't be expecting too much from these sacks. I felt myself fall into angry-ranting mode. "WHY is it that people like you are so fucking oblivious to the emotions of others??? Did it ever OCCUR to you that I just MIGHT derive some NEGETIVE emotions from being publically humiliated??? Not that I really care what other people think, BUT STILL!!!" He was looking at me that funny way that so often leads to potentially fatal spork wounds. Boy, this was a long stoplight. "Man, you are some pisa shit, why don't you go somewhere and cry, or something?" I grinned wide, and his expression turned even more sporky. "Oh, I'll do SOMETHING." I said.

2:30 AM
(A/N: Sorry folks, but I really suck at action scenes) I was getting sporky looks left and right due to the dried blood I was more or less covered in, but I didn't care. I was feelin' good, and I was still thirsty from six hours ago. I walked into a 24/7 and got a brainfreezy. (They leave the machines on past 2 ever since I killed that self-appointed beverage dictator.)

3:00 AM
I headed home, brainfreezy in hand, when I saw her. I stopped and ducked behind the tree, hoping she hadn't spotted me. But she had, I could see it in her eyes. I stepped out and looked at her. "Damn you!" I told her, "You stupid rock! I thought you'd have given up by now!" (A/N: Bwah ha ha ha! Suprise!) I began sobbing "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME??? Stop looking at me! Stop it stop it stop it!" I stared at her for about an hour, then I ran.

5:15 AM
"Dear Die-ary, when will that cursed rock allow me some peace? Goddam my head itches. And my eyes still hurt."


The Ind.

(Boy! Nny's a much harder character to do than Zim, but I enjoyed this.)