COMPLETELY STUPID HUMOR, written with my friends, Randall and Laura, in Gym.

To my pale-skinned rice cake,

When you were on your broom the other day, I wished you were mounting me like that piece of wood (growl). Sometimes I get mad and cast an angry charm when instead I want to curse you to love me FOREVER.

When I saw you on the train in first year and you offered me your hand, I refused because I was so sweaty with erotic feelings and I didn't want you to know.

You'll want to be with me. Remember Whompy's words; "Draco and Harry sitting in a tree. F-A-L-L-I-N-G in love!"

My love for you is the equivalent of the passionate burning flames of HELL! I would walk through those burning flames and develop blisters and burns of love…

But the flames of hell are nowhere near as burning hot as the fire that burns in me (my crotch, you see, I have syphilis) . In second year, I wanted to use the polyjuice potion to turn me into someone hot (!!) So you would blindly shag me (like you did that random stranger the other night…I was watching under my invisibility cloak).

Do I make you RANDY, Draco-Baby? Do you want to unleash your Slytherin venom in me, baby? I'd love that, and I think you would too.

Signed,

'The Boy Who Lived to Love Draco'

P.S. I'll be waiting in Snape's dungeon. Bring chains (if there aren't already some down there)


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