Behind the Damacy

It's a never ending story about what happens if the cousins weren't rolling the Katamari to do whatever the King of all Doofuses broke.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Katamari series. Namco does.

Chapter 5: Star 2


(Back in that random house)

King: Okay, my son. Are you ready for your next objective.

Prince: No.

King: Good cause instead of another 10 cm., you'll do 20 cm.

Prince: Why does it matter? Why not just roll up 2 10 cm's. and then mash them to one?

King: Because, my shrimpy loyal son, you won't be expecting a break longer than a second while I compliment your progress.

Prince: When was the last time you commplimented anything?

King: Silence. No flashbacks til your done. And since you love flashbacks, I'm giving you only six minutes to complete this task.

Prince: Again, I ask...why am I being timed?

King: So the humans won't be suspicious of the disappearance of the stars and the moon.

Prince: Yeah. Humans are stupid enough to not notice a mass vanishing of the universe excluding their home and a giant ball of sticky stuff rolling around to recreate the stars. Lets get this over with.

King: (voice of General Pepper) Good luck. (Starts time)

Prince: That was spooky...well, 20 cm in 6 minutes? Well, at least the owner of the house made it more horendous and messy.

(1 minute and 2 cm. later, Prince finds himself under the table...along with someone else)

Prince: Havana? What the crap? Why are you under here?

Havana: No! This is my cheese! I saw it first!

Mouse 1: Squeak-squeak, squeak. Squeaker squeak! (No way, man. That's our cheese!!)

Mouse 2: Squeak, squeaking squeak! Squeaker squeak! (Yeah, stupid bitch! Give it back!)

Havana: I don't know what you said, but NEVER!!

Prince: Sheesh. I guess this is a job for Super Prince.

(So Prince used the Katamari to roll up Havana and the cheese up and rolled up to the top of the table.)

Mouse 3: Oh SQUEAKER SQUEAKING SQUEAKIN with a side of SQEAKING SQUAKING SQUEAK!!! (Oh darn with a side of fries).

(Later)

Prince: Havana, why were you chased by mice back there?

Havana: It was either that or going to my new Youtube channel style...and you know how much I hate that crappy beta channel...(looks at fourth wall) Do you?!

Prince: What the hell are you looking at?

Havana: The people outside who are reading this story, but are too scared to review it. Just asking 'them' about the terrible beta channel.

Prince: Reading this as a story? This alone makes you crazier than the time you believed in ghosts.

(Flashback)

Shiako: For the last time, stupid, there is no such things as ghost!! Got that?

Everyone: (Storming out messing and complaing about Havana)

Havana: Gosh. No one seems to believe me...you still believe my right Casper?

Casper: Of course I do! I'd believe in anything people say.

Havana: Now you're starting to creep me out...not in a spooky way, but in a friendly way. Bleck

(Reality)

Prince: Nevertheless, why don't you want to make the Katamari's if you didn't want to do this or see the new Youtube Beta Channel?

Havana: I honestly forgot about those things. Alright; count me in.

(After that minute long conversation (slow time, huh?), Prince rolled up to 10 cm in 3 minutes. Fair right?)

King: Hmm...it's still as small as an embryo's mind in my point of view.

Havana: That's what she said. Whooo!!

Prince: Thanks, guys for your support for my hard work.

King: What are you standing here for? Get back to work!!

Prince: 20 cm is impossible because barely anything here builds up the Katamari!

King: And your point is?

Prince: Let me show you an example. This huge battery should build up a centimeter. Instead, it barely builds up a millemeter! I need bigger stuff.

King: Oh fine. You see those cones over there? You're big enough to roll over those and head into bigger mess territory. Now get back to work!! That costs you a minute (disappears).

Prince: Crap. I thought convincing him to for more space would give me more time...cool, watermelon.

(So Prince tried to roll the watermelon into a hole, but turns out they were pieces.)

Prince: Woot! Score one for already done labor. Now what? Those cherries look huge. (heads over to cherries) Great. They're on a vine. Maybe if I hit it, the cherries will fall.

(As Prince hits the vines, the big cherries fell just as he planned, but since he knocked the vine so hard, all of the watermelon pieces flew off, leaving the Katamari too small to collect the cherries)

Prince: Damnit. I might as well recollect them.

(Unfortunately, as Prince tries to roll them up, the watermelon pieces got up with exclamation marks, and ran away)

Prince: ...Either I must be high without noticing, or those watermelon pieces got up, and ran away through the house...YOU GOT TO BE FU...

King: One minute left.

Prince: Oh crap! What do I do, what do I do?! (Notices the lawn) I know, I'll grab those balls over there. It'll get this ball big enough for the cherries.

Havana: You're making this too easy, Prince.

Prince: Grow up, will ya?! I gotta get going!

(So Prince rolled up enough...sports equipment...which made the Katamari big enough to grab the cherries. When he rushfully dashed himself to the cherries, he made it up to 21.5 cm with an eggplant and no time to spare)

King: Did we really ask for 20 cm? Well, since you still have time, might as well proceed with work.

Prince: But there's only one trillionth of a yoctosecond* left.

King: It's still time, right? Get going!

(One trillionth of a yoctosecond later)

King: Well then. let's see how you did...it's still the same size as when I left! What were you doing between those times?

Prince: (Sarcastically) I must've dosed off!!

King: Whatever. I'll turn this to into a star...naming it...Pickle-berry Star.

Prince: Why isn't my name that creative?

Havana: Otherwise it'll be stupid, coming from him.

Prince: Good point.

King: Havana? What are you doing in there? And you head is so long horizontally! How disturbing.

Havana: Well I'm sorry if my parents are disfigured.

King: (Angrily) Did you call my sister retarded?!

Havana: (Gulp)

Prince: Now you know how it feels to be punished by him. See ya both.


(Much later, in Prince's house (where else))

Honey: May we come in?

Prince: Sure...you know, Honey, you girls are the only people who knock on my door...sometimes.

Honey: Thanks...I think. So, how was your day at work?

June: Yeah, and don't spare the details. Make it very juicy.

Prince: Well, nothing happened with the details. However, first I found Havana being chased by mice for stealing their cheese. Then he broke the invisible 'fourth wall' and told the so called 'readers' about how bad the new Youtube channels are.

June: I don't know what he means by 'readers' or 'fourth wall', but he's not crazy about how terrible the beta channels are.

Honey: Please proceed.

Prince: As I was saying, after Havana, I picked up watermelon pieces to build up my Katamari. But as I knocked it with a vine, all the watermelon pieces flew to the ground. And as I tried to picked up the pieces, they got up, and ran away.

Honey: That's one of my problems with the Katamari I'm fixing now. Sorry about not telling you earlier.

June: Umm... moving watermelon pieces? Were you high then?

Prince: If I was high then, I wouldn't believed it. After that, I panicked until I picked up some balls to help me, though some were small.

June: Use the details...(throws up in bag).

Prince: (Sighs) Sports balls, woman. Anyway, they help me get some giant cherries and an eggplant. That got me to my goal with no time to spare. After naming the star something random and stupid, Havana decided to talk about your parents deformities...at even at this point, he's having a talk with my dad.

June: All of that happened?! (ROFL) Whew! That's funnier than that story you told about Slip teaching you and Opeo how to fly.

(Flashback: near the edge of the world)

Opeo: Are you sure about this?

Prince: This looks too dangerous.

Slip: What are you guys talking about? You got the wind; now you jump off and thing about men stuff: football! Nude women! Money!

Prince & Opeo: (Jumps off, but screams) We're going to die!!

Slip: What are you, gay?

(Reality)

Prince: (Shudders) Please don't remind me about that. (Turns to Honey) You said that the Katamaris have a bug, right?

Honey: Yes. I knew that things would escape and run off, but I didn't know it was this serious. I'll get it fixed as soon as I can.

Prince: Please do. I don't want to wind up like Havana. But I still have tomorrow off before my next star. I hear that it'll be in a new location...sweet.

Honey: You have the day off? Great! I want to test out my updated Katamaris with you on the Mushroom Planet (Slightly blushes). Would you like to come?

Prince: Sounds like a great idea. Can't wait til then.

June: Awww. Look who finally have a date with her love.

Prince: What she say?

Honey: Oh she's just delusional. Come on, June.

Prince: That was really wierd of June to say. Whatever. I'll go see Havana getting 'the talk'

(Cutaway to Havana)

King: (Shoots lasers) AND ANOTHER THING!! YOU DO NOT CALL ANYONE IN MY FAMILY RETARDED, BECAUSE MY SISTER IS NOT RETARDED LIKE YOUR PARENTS!! GOT IT?!

Havana: But isn't my mom your sister.

King: YOU DARE QUESTION ME?!

(Cutaway to Honey and June)

June: What the hell was that for?!

Honey: How would you feel if I told your secret about you and Peso.

June: Don't you dare!! No one must know the 'Prankster Couple' idenities!!

Honey: The what? I though you were in love with him.

June: That's very true, which was why we formed that group. Please don't tell.

Honey: I won't...if you won't spill my...love for Prince like that.

June: Sorry if I angered you anyway. But still, you have to tell him before someone else will.

Honey: I hated when your right.

(Flashback)

June: Honey! If you watch that movie, you'll go brain dead.

Honey: Pul-ease. I'm gonna at least give it a chance.

June: Don't say I've warned you. (Runs off)

T.V: We now return to Cinderella 3.

Honey: (Immediatly goes brain dead)

(Reality)

Honey: (Shudders) That horrible squeal...Okay, I'll tell during out Katamari testing.

June: Are you?

Honey: Yes, I'll tell him...hopefully.


A/N: So ends another funny and dramatic-ish chapter. Next will be the multiplayer playthrough between Prince and Honey to test out the updated Katamari. But will Honey have the guts to tell Prince that she loves him? And is Havana right about the 'fourth wall,' 'readers,' and crappy beta channels? Prove him right by posting a review below.

Added Notes: If you play Katamari Damacy, the watermelon pieces won't move if they're knocked out the Katamari.

*More Added Notes: A yoctosecond is the smallest unit of time. Multiply that by 1/one trillion...you get the idea.