Pimp My Sculptor

Chapter 1: Peinful

Disclaimer: Own nothing. Leave me the hell alone. This goes for following chapters as well.

A/N: Written for Emmy-danna AKA xcupidxstuntx, who gave me the title for this story, which, funnily enough, has the same initials as Pre Menstrual Syndrome.



"We are in serious trouble, people," Pein said in the Akatsuki headquarters, which was really just the kitchen. No one seemed to be listening to him, however. Konan was busy rolling an entire month's supply of cigarettes while jamming to headphones, Kisame was shaving over the sink with his Samehada, Tobi and Itachi were burning pancakes on the stove, Deidara and Sasori were arguing about the whereabouts of the puppet's last can of Pledge, Hidan was mumbling something about eating records for breakfast (that's what black, crispy pancakes look like) and Kakuzu was hemming a cloak. Zetsu was outside sexually assaulting stray cats.

"Hey, we're going to be evicted!"

Everyone stopped what they were doing. Kakuzu poked himself with his needle.

"What?! But I handle all the bills, and I've been paying the rent on time!" Kakuzu yelled, sounding panicked. Pein laughed nervously.

"Uh…yeah, I over drafted the account, and…"

"Over drafted? Are you insane?!" Kakuzu barked, his green eyes popping. Pein cleared his throat.

"Ahem, I am Leader, do not question my spending habits!"

"You blew all your money on those damned SSSHM cards, didn't you?!" Konan shrieked, jumping to her feet and slapping Pein so hard she gave him a vicious paper cut.

"Eh…I have a plan to raise funds!"

"Plan? Since when do your plans work!?" Konan yelled, hastily stamping her cigarette out in Pein's empty cup of coffee and lighting another one.

"No, seriously, I got it all worked out this time!"

"So…what is it?" Kisame asked from the sink, the scrape of the Samehada along his rough stubble much louder than it should have been.

"I'm going to pimp Deidara out."

Everyone fell over. Sasori glared furiously.

"You can't do that!" he yelled. Pein just smiled. Deidara looked like he were about to explode. In anger.

"Why me?!"

"Because you touch yourself at night."

Hidan nearly fell out of his chair, laughing.

"Oh my fucking Jashin, you're such a whore, Deidara-chan!"

"Shut up, un! I am NOT! And I don't…touch…myself!"

"Foolish little blond, everyone knows what you do with those extra tongues…"

"See? Even Itachi can see that you are the perfect candidate. Have you ever prostituted yourself before?" Pein asked, and Deidara turned as pink as Hidan's eyes.

"You're evil!"

"Yes. Yes I am. Now come with me, I'd like to discuss this matter in my office."

Before Deidara could object, Pein grabbed him by the pony tail and dragged him upstairs. Konan started to follow, slipping her camera out of her cloak pocket.

"In private," Pein said clearly, and Konan halted and watched Pein and Deidara go. She grinned evilly.

"I have hidden cameras installed anyway."


Pein didn't take Deidara to his office however. Instead, he pulled down the stairs to the attic.

"After you," Pein said, and Deidara climbed the stairs, feeling very nervous. It was dark and stuffy in the attic, and there were five space beds lining the floor. Pein closed the trap door with a creaking snap and Deidara swallowed.

"Why are we up here? I thought we were going to your office, un?"

"We are going to test you out before we put you to work," Pein said with a smirk. Deidara's eyes widened and he backed up. Pein advanced on him, and soon Deidara found himself pushed up against the wall. Pein grabbed Deidara's wrists and held his hands up over his head.

"What are you doing, un? Let me go!" Deidara cried, struggling in Pein's strong grip. Pein leaned in and licked playfully at Deidara's lips, the ball on his tongue running along his skin. Deidara continued to wriggle so Pein pressed himself up against the blond.

"Don't…move," Pein whispered harshly. Deidara just tugged harder. Pein forced his mouth on Deidara again and ground into him, making Deidara gasp in surprise. The orange haired man slipped his pierced tongue in between Deidara's parted lips and the blond bit down, hard. Blood seeped out of the cut, and Pein moaned and ground his hips into Deidara again. Pein sucked at the blood and Deidara let up. A sliding sound and an echoing hiss met Deidara's ears and he looked around to see that Pein's five other bodies were emerging from their beds. Pein followed his gaze with a smile planted firmly on his lips. Deidara shook his head.


"Yes," Pein said slowly. Deidara took a deep breath, closed his eyes and head butted Pein. Pein grunted in pain and he let go of the blond. Deidara ran for the trap door but another Pein blocked his exit. Deidara was grabbed from behind and hands clawed at him, ripping at his hair, his arms and legs, his clothes, until he was held down on the ground, naked and trembling.

"Please, Leader-sama, let me go, un!" Deidara cried. Pein didn't let go, however. Pein the leader stripped and then dropped to his knees in between Deidara's spread legs. He leaned in to kiss Deidara's neck, his fingers encircling the blond's nipples. Deidara whimpered, feeling Pein's cock rubbing up against him. Four of Pein's other bodies held onto each of his limbs, while the Pein with the Pony Tail (Dein) sat down and grabbed Deidara's head and set it in his lap. He grinned down at Deidara, toying with his blond hair.

Deidara shut his eyes as Pein traced his fingers along his skin, his wet mouth following along, occasionally nipping and sucking. Pein dipped his tongue into Deidara's navel and the ball sliding against his skin made Deidara's breathing hitch. Pein laughed, and it echoed out of the mouths of his other bodies. Deidara shivered. Something hard poked into the back of Deidara's head, and he snapped his eyes up at Dein, who licked his lips.

"P-please, un," Deidara pleaded, twitching his limbs, which were pinned with other bodies. Pein paid him no mind. His mouth slid down below his navel and Deidara yelped when his hand wrapped around his cock and Pein swallowed the head. Deidara grew hard rather fast, bucking into his leader's mouth. Dein slid out from under Deidara's head and threw his cloak aside. He wasn't wearing anything underneath. Dein sat on Deidara's chest, his cock in the blond's face.

Deidara looked up to Dein with his eyes wide.


Dein cocked his head to the side and snickered, gripping his erection and pushing it up against Deidara's lips.

"Suck it."


Pein scraped the ball on his tongue against the shaft of Deidara's cock and he gasped, arching into it. Dein forced is cock inside those parted lips and Deidara gagged. His teeth grazed at the throbbing organ and Dein hissed and threw back his head, gripping the blond's hair hard enough to rip some of the strands out of his skull.

Pein pulled his mouth off of Deidara.

"If you bite me, I'll bite YOU," he warned, and swallowed Deidara's cock again. Deidara blinked tears out of his eyes and tried to relax his throat as Dein thrust slowly into his mouth. When Deidara was close to the edge, Pein pulled off again. Deidara let out a groan of displeasure and the vibrations of his voice made Dein cry out. He quickened his pace and Deidara was forced to take it, his lower body aching for release.

"Lift his legs up," Pein ordered two of his other bodies. They obediently did as they were told. Pein grabbed onto Deidara's legs as well and rubbed his cock along Deidara's thighs before slipping in between his cheeks. He pressed the dripping tip of his cock against Deidara's ass and with a strong push forced his way in. Deidara screamed, his jaw tensed, and Dein came violently into his mouth, shooting his seed down Deidara's throat.

Dein pulled out and got up. He turned around to face Pein and dropped to all fours again, his soft cock hanging in Deidara's face. Deidara bit his lip as Pein thrust harder into him, the friction making him bleed.

"Do it again, whore," Dein said and he engulfed Deidara's cock in his mouth. Deidara gasped and bucked. The Pein with the long hair (Kein) that had been holding down Deidara's right hand got up, shred his own cloak and just as Deidara wrapped his lips around Dein's cock, Kein crawled up behind Dein and promptly shoved his cock into him.

Dein gasped and jerked at the sudden invasion. Deidara likewise tensed when Pein struck his prostate, a jolt of pleasure running up his spine. Pein tangled his fingers in Dein's hair and thrust into the same spot again. Deidara could barely concentrate on the cock, now hard again, that was pumping into his mouth. Deidara's free hand reached up to squeeze Dein's ass, the hand mouth nipping and licking at the flesh. Once in a while Kein's body would smack into the back of his hand as he thrust into his other self.

The other three bodies not engaging in any hot action used their unoccupied hands to pull out their own erections and jack off to the show.

Pein thrust hard and fast and blood began to trickle to the floor. Deidara winced at every thrust, Pein no longer bothering to find his pleasure spot again. The blond was sickened with himself for how much he enjoyed Dein's hot, wet mouth on his cock. He felt close to climax and Dein swirled his tongue a certain way and Deidara lost it. He jerked forward as he came. Dein drank it up, and then he pulled his mouth away as he came himself, once again flooding Deidara's mouth. Kein came a moment later, and then Pein followed suit, thrusting deep within Deidara to cum inside him.

Dein, Kein and Pein crawled away from Deidara and the three remaining Peins showered Deidara's sweating, panting form with cum. It splattered all over his heated skin and in his hair, even in his gaping mouth.

"Well, I think you're broken in, now let's see how you do with the others!" Pein said. Deidara groaned from the floor.


Next chapter is KisaDei. I will be sure to give you a warning for each upcoming chapter, because later on, Deidara also gets raped by girls, and though you should not expect normal het sex, since I don't like het lemons, you can choose not to read it. Deidara is uke in every instance, so keep that in mind. MWA HA HA HA HA!