Disclaimer: Calvin and Hobbes? Mine? Ha, don't I wish.


With you at my side, we're the world's greatest team:
We search for huge snakes just to hear ourselves scream;
We deluge each other with water balloons
And take close-up snapshots of Mars and its moons;
We lounge under trees in the midsummer heat,
Plot new ways to torture the girl down the street,
Build sculptures in snow that would shame Joseph Bailey,
And play bizarre games where we change the rules daily.

But what if it's all just a dream,
And you're not really here?
What if I turn around one day
And you just disappear?
Could I still bear to face the world
Without my best friend near?

For sometimes I think that this world that we know,
Where alien beings complain about snow
And bloodthirsty monsters lurk under the bed,
Is just an illusion cooked up in my head,
And the world really is what the grown-ups all say:
Just taxes and dental work, day after day,
With no room for time machines, snow goons so heinous,
Or anything else that disturbs life's mundaneness.

And if this life is all a dream,
Then surely you are too:
That boys and tigers can be friends
Is obviously untrue
For anybody who accepts
The sober, grown-up view.


Yeah, sometimes I think that when I'm off at school,
Trying hard to choke down cafeteria gruel
And wondering whether this world I despise
Is the only one visible to unclouded eyes –
But then I come home, and I walk through the door,
And a striped atom bomb knocks me off of the floor;
And even as I curse your psychotic ferality,
I'm secretly glad for that blast of reality.

So thank you, Hobbes, for what you are,
Because, quite frankly, I
Don't think I could survive a day
If you weren't right nearby –
And now, let's go outside and see
What weirdness we can spy!