WARNING: citrusy things ensue in this! it is Yaoi. Don't like, don't read
flames will be used to warm me as i slumber..or toast marshmellows...
This is a oneshot for now. If anybody wants a sequal, I could probably do it. So, i hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! It just flowed right out, I love when that happens! so, if there are any mistakes, sorry, it's un-beta'd.
you may want to listen to making april's song All of Yours or Roses and Butterflies while reading this!
I have been asked, on several occasions, actually, what the perfect world is. And to each I have given the exact same reply. See, as of late, I have been getting this question a lot. So, in my infinite wisdom, I have decided to type it out. It has gotten much too cumbersome, to every time one asks such a question-a question with such an extensive
answer-to actually answer the question that I found it in everyone's (my) best interest to
have it typed out, and at hand all the time.
Just this morning, actually, as I was going over the leads from the previous day, Light-kun turned to me. He inquired a most peculiar question.
"Ryuzaki? Does your perfect world include Kira?" No one else has asked me a question with such depth, (on this subject) before, and for a moment, I was a little taken aback. I turned to him, away from my computer, signaling that he had my full attention. This was not something I did to every one. Hell, the only people I allow my undivided attention to are, Watari, and Light. AND, I only give Light the satisfaction of knowing he has my undivided attention, on the rarest of occasions.
I closed my eyes, for a moment, and inhaled the residual smell of the coffee I had just finished. AH, caffeine. I knew that in order for me to properly answer this inquiry, I had to go somewhere else, somewhere easier to concentrate. And I would give Light my true answer. Nobody else would know. Nobody else knows what my true thoughts are, especially concerning the Kira case.
"Light-kun and I will be stepping out for a while." I announce to the task force. They all turn to look at us, suspiciously, of course. Why would it not be suspicious? How long has it been, since we had a break? A long time.
I turned, not waiting for a reply, and tugged Light out of the room. Vaguely, I heard the reaction from the other task force members.
"Ryuzaki? Where are we going? What's wrong? " Light asked.
I just motioned for him to keep walking, and he shut his mouth. I asked Watari to drive us to a hotel (that I had already booked, for emergencies) and said no more, until we got there, that is.
Light-kun and I entered the lobby, and earned us many curious stares. Of course, he noticed, and, began to look angry.
"Light-kun?" I whispered so that we were the only ones who could hear.
"Yes?" he peered down at me, with his caramel colored eyes.
"Place your arms around my waist." I replied to him.
His eyes widened in shock, and then his face turned red with anger? Embarrassment?
"What?!?!" he whisper-shouted.
"Wouldn't it look strange for two men to arrive, together, at a hotel, go into a room, together, stay in there for a while, together, and then leave, TOGETHER? We don't want any inquiries." I explained.
As realization dawned on his face, a blush came, too. He was most definitely embarrassed now. He quickly grabbed my small waist and pulled me toward his side. The looks on the faces changed now. They were more hostile, and disgusted. That angered Light, but he refrained from lashing out.
After aquiring the key to our room, and a few questioning looks, we got into the elevator. There were so many people that Light had to pick me up. Like a small child, or a woman. I was quite embarrassed. He just chuckled into my ear.
"Don't you like that, sweetie?" he said in a stage whisper. That caused more people to look at us. A groaned and buried my head in his chest. I wasn't exactly embarrassed, but I had to act the part. I was Light's shy, school-girl-esque 'boyfriend' and I needed to act like it.
Most of the people around us commented to Light on how adorable I am. Grr. There were resonating 'awwwws' and 'kawaii!!'s all around us. I wanted to get to our room. Even more, now.
We arrived in our room, and I quickly made my way to the bed, and crouched into it, leaning against the pillows. Light followed right behind, sitting next to me on the bed. So, I turned to him, and sighed.
"The answer, Light-kun, to your previous question, is yes, my perfect world does include Kira." I answered with conviction. I know that he is Kira, and there is no possible way I could live without him. As much as he may deny it, I know that he is Kira. I know. And it took me a very long time to admit this to myself, but I believe I may be in love with Light-kun………………..
……………………………………………………………it's such a shock…I know…Soak it all in…….……………………………………………………………………………Light-kun was very shocked. He let his guard down ever so slightly. I saw the shock, however brief it was, cross over his face. He turned so that his whole body was facing me.
"Really? I would have though, Ryuzaki, that your perfect world would have no evil people in it." How could it? I love him.
"No, Light-kun, it could never not have Kira in it." I was dreading when he would ask my explanation.
"Why is that, Ryuzaki?" He inquired.
"Please, Light-kun, do not call me Ryuzaki, anymore. Call me L, my name is Lawliet." I could hardly believe that I was actually telling this to him. He looked just as surprised as I felt.
"The reason, Light-kun? Well, There are several. The first is, well, I feel like he and I are very similar. Well, I know we are, actually. But, I feel as though he and I have bonded, I suppose you could say, over this. It may be hate, I can't say for certain, but it is a bind, none the less. Second, everyone in life has their other half. Everyone. Some spend an entire lifetime looking for that someone, some, never look. Others spend it all doting upon that person. I feel as though Kira, whoever that may be, complements me. In every way possible, we are so different, yet so similar. It's strange. Difficult to describe, and yet, I feel as though you understand exactly what I am saying. Though I don't believe I am describing it correctly. And third, possibly the most dangerous reason, the one that makes me seem even more crazy, and vulnerable, Is this." With that, I leaned forward, ever so slightly, and pulled back. Light, unconsciously, leaned toward me. And I whispered to him:
"I believe that I may well be in love with Kira."
And the silence that ensued was so terribly excruciating that I thought I might have died. Finally, Light took a long, steady breath and leaned back. Then, abruptly, he stood. He looked down at me, and it appeared as if he was going through some inner-turmoil. Like he was restraining himself from something. Then, his arms were suddenly on either side of my body, his was leaning over me, causing me to lean away. Only, there was little I could do, since I was being pinned to the bed.
"You love Kira, Lawliet?" He inquired, in the most seductive voice I had ever heard. Oh, dear, it took years of self-restraint to hold back a moan. My breathing grew slightly ragged, as his legs slid between mine. Carefully, skillfully, he slid us fully onto the bed, so that he was hovering above me. I felt small, insignificant. I hate to admit it, but I was intimidated by Light's large body, especially in a situation where it is so evident that mine is so much more feminine than his. Light angled his face so that he was breathing into my ear. He took my wrist in his hand, and pinned it above my head.
I didn't notice.
Slowly, oh, so slowly, Light bent his head towards my throat. He positioned his lips at my jugular, and stilled.
Then, when I thought there was no way I could possibly bare it any longer, he pushed his knee to my groin, and his lips to my throat simultaneously. My back arched, and I mewled. I could feel his breath ghost across my neck as he laughed. His hand left my captive wrist, and slid under the hem of my shirt. He traced little circles around my navel, and ran his palm flat against my abdomen. Slowly, he brought his hand to my back. He explored my body, running his hands across my lower back, up my spine, between my shoulder blades.
Suddenly, I just didn't care any more. I grabbed his face and brought his lips to mine, unable to control myself any longer. I needed him. Now. And, evidently, he needed me. Both of his hands now traveled across my back, my stomach. I tangled one hand in his perfect hair. The other, wrapped around his neck, bringing him impossibly closer, over his shoulder, across his back. I couldn't get enough of him.
I was addicted.
As we parted for breath, he leaned his head on my shoulder, panting in my ear. His hot breath puffed against my skin, and I needed more. I pulled him back toward me, slower this time. Very carefully, I leaned forward, and licked his lower lip. Quickly moving, he pulled his legs over my waist, straddling me. We moaned. He leaned back down, kissing me. I gasped as his rocked his hips against mine. His tongue found it's way into my mouth, and we battled for dominance. He won, but only because he cheated. Really, he did. And I couldn't bring myself to care.
Light leaned back, and studied me. I studied him. He was all disheveled. His usually perfect hair looked unkempt, and his clothes were rumpled and askew. I knew I probably looked worse.
As he was leaning back towards me, preparing to lift my shirt, we were interrupted. Damn.
Ring! Ring! Ring! My cell phone. It was Watari. He was here to pick us up.
"Light-kun. Watari is here to pick us up and take us home." He looked as disappointed as I felt.
And said nothing to each other, except work-related things, for several weeks. It was awkward.
I was leaving for London, and was not coming back for some weeks, and Light was not present upon my departure.
I decided to give Light-kun something before I left.
Let's see if he finds it, shall we?
When Light returned to work the day after L left for London, He noticed something. It was a paper. It was not in it's proper place. But, wait! It was not his. Whose could it be?
A dark red leather bound journal lay on his desk, in gold lettering, the name LAWLIET was printed on the cover. A page was flagged, towards the middle. He turned to it.
The top of the page was dated, April 7th, 1990 a newspaper clipping was haphazardly glued into the page. It appeared that in his past, L wrote this.
The perfect world? There is no such thing. The world is the way people with power decide. Leaders of countries, or big corporate companies are able to create the world the way they want. They can manipulate things to their will, and use that.
There is no way to create a perfect world, but we can give each other the right to chose how we live our life. Every one, really, has the right to be able to choose their government. Each country should be independent of others, and pick their government. No one should be able to dictate the way they run their lives.
Everybody should be able to live the way they choose, and be, or do what you want to. Though there is no way to change anyone's beliefs or force them to think the way we do, we can, however, be empathetic. Whatever we think or believe, we don't have the right to say that someone's belief is wrong. Obviously we cannot eradicate all hate, but we can make an attempt at some semblance of peace.
The world is the way we make it. The idea of "perfection" is impossible. It's façade people use to make others feel inferior, makes people believe they need to conform.
Humans are, by nature, selfish creatures, and each generation just gets more and more so. If this generation of people were to make the "perfect" community, it would be perfect only in the eye of conformers and the creators of the "perfection". Eventually, the selfishness of humans will be so great that their generation will have to refit the "perfect" community around their selfish desires. Every few generations will grow so exponentially selfish that "perfect" will be insufficient in their eyes. The community will have to be redone every so often. Human selfishness will never allow perfection. It just won't.
Per•fect adj. Having no defect or fault; flawless; accurate; absolute.
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