I never felt like this before,
I never felt like this before,
Just when I leave, I'm back for more,
Nothing else here seems to matter,
In these ever changing days,
You're the one thing that remains,
I could stay like this forever.
When Chuck finally understood that she really did not want to see him or speak to him, it had lasted almost week. Then he gave it up and got together with desperate Serena, who certainly had problems with Dan. Of course, she has been tried excuse Chuck and Blair simply didn´t get, since then Serena had coupled up with Chuck.
Blair wasn´t actually angry at him, she just didn´t know what to do, or what to think. She had wanted to solve their relationship and fixed her life, but it seemed that everything was just going to get harder and harder.
The only positive thing was that the scandal about her was slowly silencing and she could live, more or less, a normal again.
So that meant that she had to go to the Palace, to friend of someone's friends birthday dinner. All important and rich people were going to be there, what included also Chuck. When everything went on wheels and she was about to leave with Serena, she met him on her way from toilets.
"Where is your girlfriend?" she couldn´t help herself not to ask.
"What are you talking about?" asked Chuck, who had stopped and returned to face her from safe distance.
"That nice blonde, who I saw in front of your suite last week," she cleared up sharply, yet innocently.
"It´s none of your business."
"Actually it is. Since you wanted to fuck me in the same day," Blair spilled out. "Maybe it is finally time to be honest, Chuck!"
"To be honest? Ok, so, to be honest, I´ve never made love with anybody."
She looked at him confused, so he continued.
"I was fucking dozens of girls and women. But it was just fucking, just fun and it made me to forget the world around me. And everything could be good, but then, there was you. The Charming Blair Waldorf, Queen of the Upper East Side, all of a sudden, in my limo, and on my lap."
"That´s it? It was also just fucking?" she asked quietly, with unsure voice.
"Yeah... Because it was too short to become something more, to realize that maybe it was something more. Although, you didn´t want something more, if ever."
He noticed, that she was crying. Was it tears of anger or pain? She was clutching her fists and looking away.
"It hurts, doesn't it?" he made a few steps toward her. "But I don´t want to hurt you anymore... That is one thing, which isn´t a lie."
When she still didn´t look at him, he turned her by her chin to face him.
"I´ve never slept with any girl more than once. Only you could make me want it- want you- more and more. And I hated it, because I couldn´t have you."
"To be honest," Blair finally spoke, "maybe I wanted it to be more than sex, but I was so afraid to admit it. Oh and I was so silly, because I thought it wasn´t just meaningless fucking."
"Blair, stop it."
"It wasn´t as sweet and romantic and gentle as I dreamt it would be, but it was new for me and it felt good at least."
"You see...?" Chuck nodded slowly and sighed when he saw the effect that his words had on her.
"Chuck..." this Chuck made her feel so sad, even if she didn´t want to.
"Leave me alone now. Go..."
She returned from Serena´s with a reserved key. Chuck was half-lying on the sofa, snoring a little. Blair sat next to him and she was watching him quietly, watching how his chest was raising up and then falling down. How he looked so different then when he was up, and she was hearing his snobbish talks.
Blair rose up and went to the bedroom for a blanket, which was lying on the edge of his bed. She took a notice of a tiny book. Chuck is reading? She picked it up and looked at the cover; Breakfast at Tiffany´s by Truman Capote. She put it back and went with the blanket to room where Chuck was sleeping, except he wasn´t sleeping anymore, only staring somewhere.
"Are you reading Breakfast at Tiffany´s?" she asked sharply, as she threw the blanket on the sofa.
"No... I read it yet."
"I saw the movie many times with you, when we were younger. But I wanted to know the original. The true story. how it was in real..."
"They say that original is always better."
"Oh, but Audrey Hepburn-"
"Wouldn't you rather be Holly? I mean- Blair?"
"Make love to me, Chuck..." she asked him, her voice a little higher than normal.
Her words were like an echo in his head, so surprising, but he didn´t make any move.
"Blair," he just softly breathed out, as her hands were coming towards him to settle around his neck, and he could feel how she was lightly brushing her fingers through the hair on his nap of his neck. "I´m so sorry for the way I acted. I had no right to did what I did," he finally spoke.
"If I didn´t want it, I would stopped you," she said softly.
"But- that evening, when we were in bath, I didn´t dare to do anything that would ruin the moment- it was too perfect. Blair, nobody knows who I really am, and I have never felt this empty as I did before that point. I had to do- well, you also made me quite hard," he admitted with chuckle.
Then Chuck was stroking Blair´s face, her cheek, her chin, and lips and repeating Blair´s name again and again.
After a few moments they found their way to each other's lips. Chuck tried not to completely attack on Blair´s mouth with his tongue, just gently licking the taste of them off. He didn't do anything else at first, just breathed. Blair made a soft purr and she was just holding still for now and waiting for his next movements. She didn't push him away, so he sucked gently at her lips, teasing them open, and she let him in. He put a hand on her cheek; he could feel her trembling slightly as he licked into her mouth, sucking lightly at her tongue.
This felt incredible. He used to be gentle and nice with her, but never this way. It almost seemed that he was hesitant and unsure. But then, Blair must have tensed or something, because he raised his head. "You okay?"
"Chuck..." she breathed out deeply this time. "What is it with us?" and it wasn´t really a question. "You know, all I want is to be the girl you´re scared to lose." It was not easy to say this to him and she couldn´t look into his eyes.
"Blair..." he said for the fiftieth time in the last ten minutes. "You know how much I´m scared that I lost you? How much I´ve been worrying, for last month especially?" Chuck mumbled and she couldn´t read the look on his face.
He leaned forward to reach her mouth. Earlier it had been all tongue and teeth and heat. Now, she let him taste her the way he had the first time they kissed, her lips warm and sweet and salty, her tongue a seduction rather than a demand, pulling him into her rather than pushing herself into him. The hooks her fingers had become let him go. They became explorers, pushing up under his shirt, seeking the heat of his skin, pressing flat to trace paths across the flesh of his lower back.
"Wow," she whispered against his mouth.
"Yeah," he agreed, then settling a little more comfortably against her.
Blair was running her hands down and back up his stomach, broke the kiss and dragged her mouth along his jaw, seeking lower, her lips grazing his throat. He growled in response.
Then, she slowly got up and stood next to the sofa, she was taking off her top, looking at him steadily, as he was looking back.
It was very special to see her in these simple clothes; skinny dark blue jeans and a flowered tank top by Stella McCartney. In these, her natural beauty was even more obvious and Chuck had to breathe very deeply to keep himself calm. Especially, when he looked up and saw her slim and soft torso in cream bra with silk ribbon.
She is about to bent down to kiss him, but he caught her arm.
"I slept with a girl last week," he quickly reminded her and he was awaiting new big argument, but she just whispered, without a blink of eye:
"But it was just fucking, wasn´t it?"
"It was..." Chuck agreed and let her kiss him.
Blair´s lips were grazing his temple and her whole body was shifting, dipping down so she could reach him by the time she got to his mouth. She put one leg, her knee bent, next to him on couch and hooked her arms around his neck.
He put his hands on her hips and kissing her by their slow tempo. He was still in his white shirt and when Blair carefully rolled up the sleeves and gently mapping the forearms, he shivered.
Her finely sculpted fingers dragged down, to the hem of his shirt. He lifted up his arms as she tugged it off, getting it caught under his chin and she giggled self-consciously.
"I can´t believe, that you´re nervous. I should be the one," Chuck murmured with smirk as he was stroking her wavy hair.
When they made their way to his bedroom, Chuck realized how different it is now. That he really was nervous, because he didn´t want ruin this. That he wanted to make it special, especially for her, not for himself.
Chuck was sitting on his bed now and Blair was kneeling between his thighs. She held the back of his head, pressed him against her skin. She moaned a little bit when he found the sweet spot she had at her neck. The muscles in his back tensed and rippled as he touched her, gently. It was maddeningly slow and completely perfect at the same time.
"God, Chuck," she panted, licking the stubble on his jaw. "God."
And he hadn't done anything to her yet. Really.
"Blair." He breathed it out against her skin, just to make sure she knew that he knew exactly who he was with and wasn't just picturing someone else in her place.
She leaned forward, sucking his earlobe into her mouth, sending another jolt of need through his body. Then, she helped him remove his undershirt and trousers. She reached between them and slipped her hand past the waistband of his boxers. She stroked his belly, and then fisted his erection. It was a little strange, because she never done this before, even with Nate, and Chuck can see it from her red cheeks, unsure movements and ragged breath. But it felt good anyway, so good. She reached out and ran her fingers across the length and Chuck unwittingly rocked forward to her palm. He let out a low guttural moan and leaned back.
The light from the living room was faintly illumining Blair´s body and that made Chuck stop his actions for moments, because he was truly mesmerized.
"I'm sorry I never told you before," he whispered, mouth against her neck, making her shiver.
"Never told me what?" she asked, hands on his shoulders now.
"How beautiful you are, how much I love looking at you."
When Chuck squeezed her ass through the jeans, she nearly lost the balance and he pushed her down, on her back. She raised her hips, helped him slide her jeans down her legs and off.
She watched when he slid the left bra strap off her shoulder and kissed her skin there. She shivered a little, shifting restlessly against him. She ran her fingers over his shoulder and down his arm, her hand curving around his bicep, as his head dipped to her breast. But suddenly, Chuck realized, that he never actually asked her, what she likes. If she liked this or the other things that he made to her.
Blair looked at him confusedly.
"How does it felt?"
"What?" she said uncertainly as she was cupping his cheek soothingly.
"When we made it for the first time, after Victrola."
Blair lowered her hand. She just couldn´t understand why he was asking, but she found it very sweet.
"It´s hard to say, because it was so new- but it was surely unforgettable and I don´t regret it... Yes, it ached a little bit and everything, but it also made me feel sexy, wanted and alive...You still make me feel this way. Thank you, Chuck." It was a bit awkward to have admitted this, to confide it to him.
Meanwhile, Chuck returned to her breasts, to remove the bra completely, freeing her breasts to him.
"How does feel this?"
"So good." Blair´s hands were threading into his hair to hold him at her chest and to guide his mouth where she liked it.
"And do you like this?" he asked again, when he pulled the dark nipple in his mouth and rolled it with his tongue.
Her eyes closed and she moaned: "Mmmhm."
Then Chuck started gently massaging the breasts by his palms, attentively watching Blair´s reactions.
This time Blair wrapped one leg around his and arched her back.
"Harder, please," she answered quietly, with needy sound and when Chuck obliged, she was starting to make another breathless needy sounds, little half-formed words, which made together nothing but noise. It was the most amazing sound that he ever heard.
It was a slow and pleasant. Chuck moved slowly, so slowly, holding her tightly to him on his lap. She buried her face in his neck, arms tight around him and let him keeping the rhythm. He wanted to be sure, that Blair felt the same perfection and love in their embrace. And Blair could feel it, of course. She could feel all the care radiating from Chuck´s body, from his whole being.
"Will you marry me?" Chuck asked suddenly, when they were resting, sweat still on their bodeis.
"What?" Blair asked laughing.
"Not today, someday."
"Maybe," she said with playfully lift eyebrow.
So, this was the last chapter, I hopu you guyz like it. Thank you all for your support.