He Hated her.
No he didn't. He was just having some initial trouble analyzing his feelings of tremendous animosity and simultaneous overwhelming lust towards her.
Ok yes he did hate her but he was trying not to.
He had done what he always did when confronted with a complex problem. He had decided on a plan. He had had to wait until the case was over so he some time to consider something other than blood splatter analysis and false bank accounts. This had meant two more days of tense avoidance, confusion and distraction as he tried to concentrate what he could on the case and ensure he was never left alone with her- anywhere.
He had then had to fend off Tony's cheerful and insistent invite to an after work drink to celebrate. That had been a definite. The thought of them all sitting together at a bar idly chatting pretending that nothing had happened while all the time the giant pink elephant that had McGee Had Sex With Her written in giant gold lettering on it wandered around the room was almost more than he could bare.
Also the thought of what he had done twice, stone cold sober had added momentum to his decision to stay as far away from the rest of them, from HER as possible. What would he be capable of doing with a few drinks inside him?
He could imagine her leaning over him simply reaching for her drink while showing her full cleavage to him and trailing her other hand unseen over his crotch. He would close his eyes against the now familiar smell of her as she managed to stand close to him, apparently uncaring, her skirt tight, feet slightly too far apart.
Unbidden came the thought of her hot and wet around him. Of him fucking her roughly, uncaring of watchful eyes up against the rough brick wall in the dark dirty alley outside the club. He could see her now with her back arched, hands clawing at him grabbing his firm arse drawing him further inside her, her thighs straining, spread wide, her gasping little cry's as she shut her eyes against watching his shuddering desperate release.
Or worse, noisily fiercely banging away inside a desolate cubicle in the men's toilets
…………until Tony came in. And his life at NCIS would come to an end as he knew it.
Tim shuddered as he considered the looks and more that he would receive and resolved again to sort this problem of his out.
And it was a problem. It was affecting his work, consuming his thoughts. He was having trouble sleeping and he knew that Gibbs had started watching him a little more closely. He was sure Gibbs had put it down to being effected by the case they were working on a bit more then usual but that would last only so long before he would be called into 'his office' for a talk.
So here he was stripped naked, shivering in his shower. The water was cold. So cold it felt like a thousand little needles dancing across his skin. His pale skin was covered in goose pimples. He had already jerked off before climbing in and turning on the water. It hadn't even been pleasurable this time, merely a task on his list. An attempt to keep his urges under control. He leaned his arms up onto the cool tiles and washed his face in the spray, rinsing the clean water through his mouth before spitting it out. He wondered if the dancing monkeys on his shower curtain were laughing at him, mocking him for his anxieties.
He had tried to consider everything and had even triple locked the door and stuck a chair in front of it in case DiNozzo decided to pay one of his late night unannounced visits.
So now he had the time. He now had the capacity to think. She was no where around. She was he believed probably with the rest of the team. He wondered if she would be relieved or disappointed that he wasn't there having a drink with the rest of them.
That's was the crux of the problem there wasn't it? He just didn't really know what she was thinking. He was supposed to be this genius but when it came down to people he still had so much to learn. He had learnt a lot in the last few years, about people, about why they did terrible things but this was something new.
She didn't like him. That he thought he had clear. Ok no Tim look at the facts. Treat this like it is a case. He scolded himself. She didn't like you at the beginning. That you do know. She didn't know you would follow her down that hallway at that time so she hadn't/couldn't have planned the first time they had….
Don't think about it!
Ok so the first time was what? Opportunity? He ran back the little bit of conversation they had had. She had been teasing him he realized suddenly and then he had been the one to respond. He felt a little shocked as he carried it through. He could have simply said no. Or he could have left the store room, a little embarrassed but still.
She had watched his eyes as she had felt him up, rubbing his hardening cock through the fabric of this trousers. There was never any question of it being …. forced upon him. He had definitely responded to her. She had essentially asked him the question 'Why don't you show me what you're made of, Timothy?' Again she had left it up to him as to what he would do about it. He shuddered under the water as he considered how quickly he had turned and locked the door behind him before…..
Don't think about it!
Ok so interesting. This was as much about him as it was about her. It took two to tango so to speak. Tim felt a small measure of relief at this revelation. If he could stop responding to her so …. so.. emotionally? Was that it? He was responding to her purely on an emotional level rather than on a professional level. First it was through anger and then lust? So rather than hating her it was more an ….. overload of emotions he was struggling to process about her. That would explain some of the confusion that swirled around his thoughts of her.
Tim hopefully followed this thought through. Some of it was definitely her though. He allowed himself to think of the second time they had come together, in the elevator. She had, he recognized been ready for him. She again had not forced it on him. In fact she had taken less action than the first time around. She had really just hinted and he could have easily stepped away or asked her to stop. He hadn't.
She had turned and waited for him. She had been wet and ready for him. She had entered the elevator and had been what? Hoping she could provoke him?
If he had stepped away from her in the elevator what could she have done? Would it be worse than what was going on with him right now? The anxiety, the teasing, the torment he realized he was putting himself though?
Ok so first thing if this happens again, take a deep breath, try and handle the emotional overload and simply step away. Tim stood still in the shower letting the freezing water run over this tense shoulders. Was that it? Just wait it out until she lost interest?
Lost interest? She was interested in him………?
He had been considering this from the angle that they both disliked each other BUT she was obviously physically attracted to him. Or at least now she was. As he was to her. They just didn't seem to like each other much except…….. no even then they didn't like each other. The sex was almost violent, no kissing, no tenderness. It was all bruising now's (Please God Now ) instead of considerate soons.
But she made it that way.
Suddenly a brilliant flare of light seemed to go off in his head. Of course. How could he have been so stupid! Genius? Idiot more like. He berated himself.
She made it that way because she liked it that way!
It was something so foreign to him it hadn't occurred to him before. He had heard of woman who liked it rough in the bedroom but this was sort of different to 'playing' Good Cop, Bad Cop.
Tim thought back to after they had fucked the first time. She had increased the attention she paid to him but it had all been negative. At the time it had confused and angered him more that she could be that way towards him but if that was the way she liked it…..
She had wanted him. To be more precise she had wanted him mad enough to simply take her sexually. To be wanted so badly she was taken.
He had never taken a woman like that before. He had been close but it had been intense feelings of love and happiness which had pushed him to the edge of abandonment not anger.
The sex was hot, he realized. Very Hot. Smoking hot, thinking about days later while simply pressing down on a stapler kind of hot.
So hot it had twisted him up inside that it could be that intense with someone he didn't care about. But that was the point. That was what she had done, unwittingly in the beginning and then with more intent. She had emotionally overloaded him, turned the key in his back and let him do his thing. And he had fallen for it hook, line and sinker.
Tim shook his head letting the clear drops fly. No wonder Tony though he was innocent and unworldly. Because he was.
But he was ok with that. Tim smiled as he turned off the water and stood for a moment shivering. He felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. It was still twisted, it was still weird but it made a kind of sense now. She didn't love him. He didn't love her. He had to admit to physically anyway enjoying having wild crazy sex with her. And apparently she with him. And that was all there was. And that could be ok too.
Tim brushed himself down with a thick fluffy towel and brought some warmth back into his limbs. Now he understood what she was trying to do when she was being so mean. He smiled as he considered that if she didn't have to torment him to get him to be 'rough' with her she might be nicer to him on a day to day basis?
That was all he was ever after. She didn't have to worship the ground he walked on he just wanted to be able to work with her in a friendly way.
Maybe he could offer to tie her up if that was what did it for her? He had always wanted to try that. He wouldn't be as rough as he had been with her though. He still felt a sense of shame as to how he must have bruised her and left her aching after he had repeatedly slammed into her so wildly. Still if she enjoyed having sex in risky places he did have a fantasy about having sex in the Porsche…………while still in the NCIS parking lot.
Tim smiled and actually looked forward to going to work and seeing her. Perhaps they could have their discussion in the empty storeroom?
He was driving her mad. She couldn't believe Mr Boy Scout had bent her over up against the wall in the elevator and had taken her like that. It had been so exciting. He had been wild, forceful and so hard! Oh god she had never had a man take her and make her feel so free, so desired. He had wanted her so much he had forgotten about protocol, about work about all the rules against what they were doing.
She had hoped of course after the last time for some sort of repeat performance but had also figured she might have freaked him out completely. Instead he had surprised her again.
She felt like she was constantly wet thinking about him. Every time she saw him she lusted after him so much her mouth went dry. Her nipples were peaked and sensitive, the tips dragging against her shirt. Just the sight of the elevator, or his desk (Oh god what she wanted to do under there!) or walking past a closed door she wondered.
She wanted to feel his head between her thighs and feel him taste her with his warm tongue, his hot soft pouty lips all over hers. To run her hands through his fine silky hair as she closed her thighs around his head and hold him tight as she thrashed in abandon. Keening her release as his silky long fingered hands bruised her breasts.
Oh God she wanted him to pin her wrists high and hard above her head in interrogation, tear her shirt open, buttons flying and take her there on the table. Him standing above her almost fully dressed, his hand bruisingly tight around her ankle forcing her leg straight back up above his head as he drove into her. Her other leg spread wide, bent at the knee and pinned to the table. Her breath hitched as she imagined holding onto the edge of the table she had seen a hundred times in shuddering desperation. The light gleaming off the one way glass as she wondered if anyone was on the other side watching her as she orgasmed and cried out, shaking with need.
He was one of the few people in the building who could alter the security cameras if required. He could make her a copy so she could watch it when she was at home alone. Watch it with her fingers high up inside herself. Watch him lose all restraint, rip off her clothes and bury himself inside her.
Oh God she was so horny right now, so sensitive all he would need to do was brush past her and ignore her and she thought she might come.
She turned. There he was. He smiled at her. "Do you think we could have a talk later?' His eyes ran down her frame before returning to look down at her.
Her wild fantasy withered and died at his kind curious eyes looking into her own.
He wanted her. He wanted her. She didn't want him wanting her. She wanted him to hate her. To take her and hate himself for it afterwards. She sighed as she realized he was probably going to ask her to dinner. He probably thought they were dating now. She wasn't sure what had changed but he seemed to have reverted back to his natural passive friendly polite state.
She didn't want polite sex. She didn't want friendly sex. She wanted to be fucked!
The long months stretched ahead of her. Working quietly side by side with Timothy McGee and yet knowing what he was capable of doing to her if only he would just let himself go.
Perhaps she should consider that transfer to Homeland Security?
God she hated him.