Where Did I Go Wrong?

Summary: Matt reflects at Jeff's funeral.

Disclaimer: I own none of these people or the song.

All I could do was sit there. I couldn't cry, I couldn't scream, I could barely even breathe. All I could do was sit and try to realize what had happened.

Step one, you say, "We need to talk"
He walks, you say, "Sit down, it's just a talk"
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came

A few years ago we were happy. We were one of the hottest teams in WWE's tag team division. We had amazing matches with Edge and Christian and The Dudley Boyz. Our TLC matches had gone down in history as some of the greatest ever. Everything was going so good that I never thought that anything could go wrong.


Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

It was Beth who came to me. She said you were acting strange. At first she thought it was you being you, but she got worried when you started acting even stranger. I sat you down and tried to talk to you. You got defensive, just like you always did when you thought I was scolding you. At the time I thought you were just going to break up with Beth and weren't sure how to do it. You've never been good at letting girls go. So like a fool, I dropped the subject.

Let him know that you know best
Because after all, you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
Things you told him all along
Pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

As time went by, things started to change. You started showing up late or not at all to work, you locked yourself in your trailer for hours, you were in and out at all hours of the night. Things finally got so bad that the WWE told you to take a drug test. You refused, and you got released. I tried to talk you about it. I asked you if you were on drugs. You looked me dead in the eye and said no.

And where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Your behavior improved for a little while when you first started at TNA. It made me want to believe your excuse of being burnt out from the politics and road schedule of WWE. But then you started acting weird again, and you got worse than ever. Out of concern I went to your house while you were gone. I searched the place and found your drug stash. I waited until you got home to confront you. Man, were you pissed! We screamed at each other and I said things I wish I hadn't. I wish I had tried to help you instead of bitching about how you lied. I guess it's too late now.

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things:
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

You went missing for a week. Nobody saw or heard from you. Dad and I went sick with worry. On the final night, I had a dream that you were lying in a ditch somewhere. I woke up to get a phone call from the police saying you were in critical condition at the hospital. Your drug dealer shot you and left you for dead. I rushed to the hospital and sat by your bed, praying that you would wake up.

Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

My prayers were useless. You died three hours after I got there. You never got to hear how sorry I was, or how much I love you. Now I'm sitting here at your funeral, too numb to cry. The knowledge that you're gone is too much to handle.

Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life

"I'm sorry baby brother," I whispered as the tears finally began to fall.