Two weeks went by and we were starting to back up all of Spencer's belongings. We are at her house right now and she is taking her photos off the wall. I want to ask her about the other woman in the picture but I'm afraid of what her answer will be. She's been a little weird lately when I try to talk to her about what she has been up to for the past 5 years. She's standing in her hallway taking pictures off the wall when I walk up behind her and wrap my arms around her.
"Mmm… baby you feel so good," she leans into my embrace.
"I love you, baby."
"I know you do Ash," she pulls the picture that is sparking my curiosity. She stares at it for a moment before she runs her finger across the frame. Clearly who ever this person was or is means a lot to her.
She hands the photo over to me and points to the brunette girl in the picture. "That's Michele, she was my girlfriend," I tense up and she can tell that jealousy is washing over me, she can tell this is making me uncomfortable and leads me over to the couch.
"Ash, we aren't together anymore, she walked out on me a year ago. She moved back to France. I doubt she will be coming back anytime soon. She was really angry with me." How can anyone walk out on Spencer Carlin? She is the most amazing person in the world. I can see she is getting upset.
"God Spence," I reach over and wrapped her in my arms. I can feel my shoulder start to get damp. "Shhhh… it's okay because I'm here now and I'm not leaving. Why did she walk out on you? How could she do that?"
She pulls away from me and stares into my eyes, "Ash a lot of shit happened when you left me. You left me beaten and broken, incapable of love. Until Michele came along, she is Heather's cousin. Heather set us up and Michele took care of me and showed me that it was okay to love again."
I am so angry with myself, this is all my fault. She takes a deep breath clearly there is more to this story and I don't know how much more I can take hearing. "We were so in love or at least I thought I was in love with her but I think it was just because she was able to pull me out of my slump. We moved in together and everything was happily ever after until one night at a party…."
The tears are rushing out of her eyes, "I got pregnant, and I saw it as a blessing in disguise so I can have the family I always wanted. Michele embraced the awkward situation we were in but started to get distant when she realized she wasn't the person I really wanted to start my family with. She was still by my side when I lost the baby. I fell apart after that again. I don't think Michele was able to handle it. She told me that she loved me so much but couldn't stand being second to you."
I stand up and give her a fierce hug, kiss her lips and walk out of the house. That was ridiculously intense. I had no idea; I knew Spencer was keeping something truly painful from me. I can't believe it, well I can see Spence falling in love again but I can't believe she was pregnant. I can't believe she miscarried, the pain she must feel deep inside. It's all too much. I know walking out of the house was the most asshole-y thing to do but I have to do this now. She needs to know that I'm staying for good.
Did she just walk out me? Was she not paying attention during that whole story about how I was heart broken twice and both times it was essentially her fault? This is it. I am through with Ashley Davies. If she thinks she can walk away from me again for another 5 years and then come back and I will be still waiting for her. She is surely mistaken.
I go back to the boxes and finish packing them up. I gave up my lease; I guess I'm just going to move back in with my parents until I can find a new house. I hear the door open again. I walk back to see who just walked in.
"You've got to be kidding me Ash. YOU ARE SUCH AN ASSHOLE!!!! Why would you do that to me? Weren't you listening to me? Get the fuck out of my house and get of my life. I'm through with you hurting me like this. Why are you smiling like that? " I start to hit her.
"Ow, ow Spence will you stop hitting me. Ouch." She grabs my arm to stop me from hitting her and she sees the rage and anger in my eyes. "Marry me."
"I said, marry me?" She lets go of holding my arm when she is sure that I am done hitting her, gets down on one knee and pulls the black velvet box out of her back pocket. "Spencer Carlin, I am the biggest douche bag in the world and I can't promise I won't do stupid things to make you mad at me but I promise I will always be madly in love with you and I will never walk away from this love ever again. So please, make my son and I the happiest family ever and marry me."
She thinks it's going to be that easy. It's my turn to walk away now. I turn my back to her and then walk away to my bedroom. I can hear her slump down defeated.
"Spencer, I'm sorry. Can we discuss this? I'm such an idiot. I shouldn't have proposed it was too soon. I just thought we were on the same page. We can wait. Please say we aren't over. Spencer, come on, talk to me sweetie," her yelling gets louder as she approaches my bedroom door. She knocks, "Spence, please talk…"
Okay, I've freaked her out long enough. I open my bedroom door and tackle her to the ground. "Yes, of course I'll marry you. I just wanted to get back at you for leaving me before. I love you and I couldn't think of a better life. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner about Michele and the pregnancy and everything. I was just so scared that you would walk out on me."
She leans up and kisses me. "I can never judge you on your past Spence. You embraced Joshua and me when we came back into your life. Both of our pasts are painful but together we can write a happy future."
A single tear falls down my face and I know that she is right. Together we will have the future we both always dreamed about and I can't wait.