Author's Note: I hadn't intended on posting a second chapter, but someone mentioned the idea of doing a sequel to Rose's POV and I ran with it. Hope you enjoy!
Summary:"There's five of us now. Mum, Dad, Mickey… and the baby." Imagines of soft hands running over her growing belly invaded her mind. She saw him holding her hand as the final contraction hit and his soft voice in her ear as they saw their child for the first time.
"There's five of us now. Mum, Dad, Mickey… and the baby."
Her voice nearly cracks, but the wind in her face can almost be blamed for it. Her breath hitches in her throat and if it wasn't for the hair blowing in her face, she would have been convinced that time had stopped.
Something was flashing behind those dark eyes as she watched him.
Imagines of soft hands running over her growing belly invaded her mind. She saw him holding her hand as the final contraction hit and his soft voice in her ear as they saw their child for the first time. She watched flashes of scenes- a pajama clad Doctor, his hair supporting a sad case of bed head, serving breakfast; the pull of bed covers and waking to the sight of their child snuggled between them to ward off nightmares; blonde pigtails bouncing on top of the Doctor's shoulders as they wander through an alien market place; a scrawny boy with a tuff of brown hair sitting on top the TARDIS console, his little hands eagerly turning knobs and pressing buttons that his father pointed to.
Her lips parted and the words were there, backed by the tiny scrap of courage she had somehow accumulated. But they never came. There was such desperation in his eyes, guilt and pain, and she hesitated.
"No," she tried to laugh but it sounded too harsh to her ears. She pushed away the hair in her mouth, trying not to look at him as she said, "It's mum."
It seemed almost anticlimactic that the sun didn't explode or that the planet didn't shudder to a halt as his image faded away. She would never see him again. Never. That was her good-bye. A distant image so close that she could reach out… but never touch him.
She had held it all back- the fear of dying in the Void, the pain and grief over loosing him, the anger she felt towards her inability to say the words- and now she let it go.
Her mum held her as the tears pooled down her cheeks and sobs racked her body. She tried to tell her how close she had come to saying it to him, about how close she had come to letting him share something so beautiful with her. But her words came out in sobs and her mum shushed her, rocking her until the light faded over the horizon.
Her mum notices first.
Rose wants to blame her lack of a period on her altered mental calendar. She wants to blame her mood swings on the fact that she hates her new world, despite how much she loves her family. She wants to blame the first three mornings she spends in the bathroom on the foreign food she's been eating.
But after two months there, she can no longer deny it. She certainly can't deny the blue line staring blankly up at her.
She worked for Torchwood now, well sort of. Pete wouldn't let her any where near the office in her condition and she was quite content to sit on the sofa with her swollen feet propped up on the coffee table, folders in her lap and a plate full of chips at her side.
Her hand stroked her bulging stomach absently. The faint feeling of movement stilled its wandering and she rested her palm over the sight of her child's newest target.
She felt it kick for the first time three weeks ago. She wished that the Doctor could have been there to feel it. She wished more than anything that she could have seen his face light up in that awestruck way it always did when he was discovering something new.
She smiled gently down at her stomach, watching her hand make lazy stroking motions once again.
She wished more than ever that the Doctor could be there with her.
They had only ever been together that one night. One time is all it takes, she's heard before.
But, honestly, she never thought that she and the Doctor could have had a child together.
She pulls her shirt off, letting it drop to the floor from her hands as her eyes fix on the full length mirror. Her stomach is still flat, but it's only been three months. Her hands stray down over her ribs, fingers splaying out over her stomach.
There's a child growing there. Just a tiny bunch of cells right now. She's sure that the Doctor could tell her every scientific stage it would be entering into.
A pain of guilt sparks down her spine as she looks down at herself. His child. She wonders how different this pregnancy would be from a normal one. Would it be longer? Shorter? Would the Time Lord DNA take over- would it have two hearts? Would it be able to regenerate? She wonders if it was a girl or a boy and wonders which she would be better at handling.
It was a girl. Their tiny baby girl: two point eight kilograms, forty-nine centimetres.
Her face was still wrinkled and ruby, her eyes still closed, and her head still slightly misshaped. Rose didn't think that the girl look much like either of them. Not yet, anyway.
She pressed a kiss to the newborn's forehead. Her eyes fell closed and, if she thought hard enough, she could almost pretend that the Doctor was there with her, cooing at his daughter and stroking her sore neck.
But he wasn't there when her eyes snapped open. She couldn't help but wonder as she looked down at their daughter what he was doing at that moment. Their daughter's birthday. Lily's birthday.
She imagines that the Doctor would be better with a boy. She doesn't have any idea what male bonding on Gallifrey entails, but she likes to imagine the two of them playing football or catch in a park.
However, she would prefer a girl. She'd always wanted one. He would be cute with her, awkward but protective and fatherly. It's just in his nature.
He had mentioned once that he had a child, a long time ago. She wonders if he would have liked to have had another. Liked to have had one with her.
Rose sat, one leg tucked beneath her, the other hanging over the edge of the bed. Between her, a half sized body sat fidgeting. Rose's fingers scooped up a piece of golden blonde hair, pulling it back into the next layer of braids, as she continued her tale.
The girl shifted again and Rose's hands adjusted to the action easily, a well practiced routine. Giggles erupted at well known times and her head turned awkwardly, eyes wide and voice chattering away as she posed a question or added her comments to the plot.
It was a nightly ritual, braiding her daughter's hair before bed, exciting her to sleep with a well known story about her father and his adventures through time and space.
She wishes he was there with her. It hurts, knowing that she was alone in this. Well, not alone, there was her mum and dad and Mickey. But not him.
Their child would never know its father. Never know the most brilliant man she had ever encountered.
She wishes that he could at least know. That he could see their child just once, hold her hand just one last time, tell her just once that she's going to be all right.
But maybe leaving two behind would just make it harder for him.
He was calling to her again, just as he did six years prior, beckoning her to follow his voice and find him.
She didn't hesitate before packing what she needed into a rucksack and then doing the same for her daughter. Rose helped her into the car, half-asleep, and drove off, knowing this time exactly where the voice would lead them.
Their drive ended at a beach in Norway where Rose let Doc, Lily's golden retriever, hop out to play in the water. Lily runs after him, giggling in mirth at finally being free from the car.
But Rose doesn't see her daughter as she pushed hair from her eyes and turned around. She saw the painfully familiar image of a man in a pinstriped suit standing before her. A disbelieving smile brightened her face but she couldn't bring herself to move any closer.
"Just another imagine?"
"For now. I found another tiny fracture. I can open it up, bring you back… if that's what you want?"
His eyes are darkened with pain and she wanted nothing more than to hold him to her, but she doesn't dare move. "Why didn't you just come through?"
"It could be dangerous."
"Last time it was impossible."
He nearly chuckled at that but his gaze was pulled up to somewhere just over her shoulder and she turned to look with him, her eyes landing on Lily and Doc playing in the waves. "Is that…?"
"Lily. Lily Rose Tyler."
"You can take us home?"
He ripped his eyes away from the child on the beach. "Is that a yes?"
She smiled properly at that, beaming at him as the word, "Yes!" left her lips.