The One With The Day-Care

AN: The fourteenth chapter is here!! And quicker than the last one too. Thank you to everyone who reviewed, it means a lot!


There was a knock at the door of apartment nineteen. Rachel sighed and got up from the sofa to answer it. It was the new neighbour from opposite, "Hi, I'm Nick, your new neighbour. Could I borrow a whisk… if you have one?"

"Oh, uh, hi Nick. Sure," she went and grabbed him one from the kitchen. "Here. So you're our new neighbour?"

"Yes, me and my girlfriend. Dana." He grinned.

Rachel nodded, "Oh."

"Nick?" there was a call and Dana appeared, visibly very pregnant.

"Oh!" Rachel had to step back a minute to take in the pregnancy, not expecting her to be so at all. "So you're Dana?"

Dana smiled, "Yeah… oh, you gave us the whisk, thanks! Well, we better get back. You need anything, let us know."

They left and Joey appeared from his room, "Hey, I heard voices…"

"Yeah, that was the knew neighbours, um Dana… something, and…"

"Dana?" Joey interrupted. "Like a woman? ...Really?" he grinned slyly.

"Yes, pregnant too," said Rachel and laughed at the look that changed on Joey's face. "There's a Nick someone living there as well."

"Ohh, yeah, I think I met him," said Joey frowning.

"It might be nice to get to know them," said Rachel.

Joey sighed, "What, do we have to? Why?"

"Uh, to make friends."

"Why? I have friends."

Rachel rolled her eyes, "Fine, but don't blame me if it turns out they have a pool table and swimming pool or something."

"I won't, but I will if that woman turns out to be single though."

Starting Credits

Joey was sat down next to Chandler in Central Perk the following afternoon. "Hey, listen man. You wanna come out to this new bar tonight? It'll be fun, we can get drunk, check out the ladies , and have lots of sex," said Joey. "With the ladies!" he added quickly.

Chandler nodded. "Oh yeah sure. That really would be the perfect way to wind up divorced."

Joey sighed, "I don't mean you have to do anything. I just think it'll be better for me if you're there. You know, so the ladies know I'm not some loner."

"When has that ever stopped you before?"

Joey shrugged, "Ah, some new game plan. Now, are you coming or not?"

Chandler sighed, "Fine. But if Monica doesn't like it and divorces me, I'm holding you responsible."

Joey held up his hands in mock defeat, "Fair enough."

Just then Ross entered, carrying Emma. "Hey!"

"Hi!" said Chandler and Joey.

"Hey, you guys guess what," Ross said. "I just pamphlets for a day care centre for Emma."

"Really?" said Chandler.

"Yeah, and look, it's really good. It has everything." He began to read from the pamphlet, "'A new experience of learning in an environment that suits the needs of your child. It holds a range of educational and mind exercising activities to engage your child, giving them the best chance.'"

"Wow," said Joey. "I think I actually fell asleep listening to that." He got up, "If you guys are gonna go all fatherly on me, I'm gonna go get some coffee."

As Joey went up to the counter, Rachel entered. She sat next to Ross and Chandler on the sofa, "Hey."

"Hey Rach," said Ross quickly. "Look what I found." He showed Rachel the day care leaflets.

Rachel frowned as she read through them, "Ross, what're we need day care for, we have a nanny?"

"Yeah, but look. This day care is educational !" Ross insisted. "Now, I'm not saying Molly doesn't care for Emma but we could give Emma care and broader knowledge by -"

Rachel interrupted, "What are you talking about broader knowledge? Emma's only just turned two for God's sake! The most knowledge she needs at the moment is how to get the food in her mouth!"

Ross scowled, "Oh, come on! Look, at the leaflet, we could turn Emma into a genius!"

"Yes, I can see that," said Rachel looking at the information in front of her. "Let's see: One o clock – Maths time, two o clock – critical thinking, three o clock – Physics! Ross, she is two - not senior at college!"

Ross looked firm, "Actually that lesson's called physics fun!"

Rachel sighed, "No Ross!"

"Fine," he said. "But don't come crying to me when she's the bottom of the class!"

Rachel gave a sarcastic smile, "I'll try."


Later that day Phoebe and Monica were at Monica's house talking in the living room. "Oh, so Mon," Phoebe was saying. "You wanna come to my Lamaze class with me?"

Monica looked doubtful, "Lamaze class?"

"Yeah! Come on, we can go together, it'll be fun!" Phoebe insisted. "I mean, alright, at first I wasn't sure about it. I mean, you know, being taught how to push a baby out of your vagina? I think I can work it out for myself, you know… but really though, it's fun! So you wanna come?"

"Will you stop talking about babies and vagina's?"


"I'm there."


That evening Chandler and Joey were just walking into a crowded bar. Chandler frowned around at the place as he entered carrying a small carrier bag in his right hand. Joey looked at the bag as they entered. "What's that?"

"Oh, just some stuff for Monica."

"Oh yeah, let's see," he grabbed the bag before Chandler could protest and peeked inside. "Flower seeds?!" he laughed.

Chandler grabbed them back, "Yes! To make our home a more welcoming environment!"

Joey snorted, "Oh okay, little girl."

Chandler sighed and led them over to a spot at the back of the room. "Okay then, so you go hit on all the beautiful women whilst I sit here like an idiot waiting for you make sure the women know you're not a loner, right?"

Chandler expected Joey to nod, but instead he looked nervously around at the women about. "Uh, yeah," he muttered, his voice full of apprehension.

"What's wrong?" asked Chandler frowning.

"Nothing," said Joey. "It's just… I haven't actually…" he fidgeted, unable to find the right words. "You know… you know… since Jill."

Chandler raised his eyebrows, "You haven't a sex since Jill?!"

"Well," said Joey defensively. "I've been a bit hung up on her!"

Chandler smiled slightly, "You know I had sex two days ago. You haven't had sex in almost a month. I am the manly man here out of the two of us. Wow, this is what it feels like to be the man of the place…" Chandler looked pleased.

Joey put him down though, "You really wanna talk about being manly, huh flower boy?"

Chandler smile fell and he glared at Joey.


Rachel, Emma and Ross were in the coffee house that evening, just about to leave as they argued over same thing they had done all day. Rachel propped Emma further up her hip as Ross said, "Rachel, come on. It's the best day care in the city."

Rachel sighed, "I'm getting really bored of this Ross."

Ross shook his head as he put his coat on, "Rach, I only want what's best for our child."

"And so do I! Without putting her in some geek prison for kids with no freedom!"

"Look, Rach, we're gonna pass it on the way back anyway. Please can't we just take a look inside?"

Rachel gave a grudging sigh, "Fine! Then maybe you'll see these tiny children are suffering."

"Suffering? They're becoming geniuses," muttered Ross.


Chandler sighed, "Would you just go over to her, already?"

Joey looked at the pretty blonde by the bar. For the third time that night she gave him a dazzling smile. Joey sighed; his confidence was shaken. For some odd reason, he couldn't help comparing her to Jill. Quickly, he shook that from his mind and turned to Chandler, "You think she's hot?"

"Yes! Sure! Now just go!" Chandler insisted.

"I can't, I'm nervous. God, it feels like the first time or something!" Joey said agitated. "Can't you go bring her over here?"

Chandler grumbled, "Joey, if I did that I'd be sleeping on the couch tonight. Now go!"

Joey sighed and did as he was told. Getting up he told Chandler, "Alright I'll be back here when I've scored."

"Okay!" Chandler said keenly as Joey went over to the blonde.

Chandler watched as Joey went up to the girl and began talking with a smile in place. Chandler recognised the words 'How you doin' come out of Joey's mouth as he pointed to the drink in her hand, and she smiled and nodded. Eventually he bought her a drink and they continued to chat. Chandler looked around at the empty table he was at, and the ladies on the following table who smirked at him as they noticed him watching Joey intently. He gave a heavy sigh, "Man I look sad."


Phoebe and Monica walked to their Lamaze class that evening. Monica asked, "So where's Mike?"

"At a gig," said Phoebe dully.

When they arrived Phoebe cheered up and entered the class full of confidence, while Monica seemed to shrink a little. Phoebe noticed. "Are you okay? You know, you're not gonna be showing them anything."

Monica smiled, "I know, it's just a bit soon."

"Monica relax," Phoebe said. "I mean, come on, the place is clean, isn't it?"

"Yeah but -"

"People!" interrupted the woman in charge at front. She smiled at the class and popped in a DVD to show them. It was a birthing film of a woman giving birth. As they watched Monica became transfixed and horrified as she stared at the TV. It reminded her very much of the birthing video she had watched with Rachel and Chandler.

When the film was over Monica stood up and gave a huge sigh of fear. She looked at Phoebe. "Really gets you into the zone of what we're gonna have to do, huh?"

Phoebe waved her off, "Ah, I've done it three times before."

"Yeah…" Monica trailed off.

"You're not scared are you Mon? I mean I thought this was something you've been wanting, like, for most of your life?" Phoebe said.

"Yeah! The baby part!" said Monica loudly. "I'd gladly skip the first bit."

"Look you don't to worry about it. It, really it, it doesn't hurt at all."

Monica laughed, "Doesn't hurt?"

Phoebe looked sheepish, "Well, maybe a little."


Unfortunately, the day-care centre was closed by the time Ross and Rachel reached it. Ross repeatedly pulled on the door handle. He shook his head, "No, closed."

"Well I guess that's it then," said Rachel as she lifted Emma closer to her.

"What –? What –? That's it? Oh, no, no, no." said Ross. "You are not gonna get out of it because this little technicality. Just because it's closed does not mean it's a bad place."

"Well, maybe not," said Rachel, peeping in through the windows. "But those desks do not say Barney and friends !"

Ross looked in, then back at Rachel. He sighed, "Alright, alright. Fine I guess I was getting a little… carried away."

Rachel snorted "A little?" She and Ross looked down at little Emma, now asleep in Rachel arms.

"You know, I only wanted what's best for her," said Ross.

"I know," Rachel assured him. She smiled at him, and he smiled back.

For a moment it was almost like old times, until Ross said with a clearing of the throat, "Right, um… she's at my apartment tonight?"

Rachel nodded quickly, "Yes." She gave Emma to Ross, along with all her things, and they said goodnight, heading their separate ways into the night.


Chandler arrived home that evening rubbing his head and giving a sigh as he collapsed next to his wife on the sofa. His closed his eyes as he said grudgingly, "Hey honey, I'm home."

Monica gave out a small laugh, "Where have you been?"

Chandler lifted his head, "A bar with Joey. Of course he said it was due to a new 'game plan'. But I ended spending most of the night alone. God, Joey's getting too young for me… or I'm getting too old for him."

Monica laughed, "You're barely a few months apart... and you're younger than him!"

"Yeah, but I'm married. I think maybe it's weighing me down," said Chandler, then he quickly caught sight of his wife's face and added quickly. "I mean, I mean weighing me up! I mean making me younger!" he struggled.

Monica laughed yet again, "I love you too."

Chandler grinned, "So, how was your day?"

"Well, um, let's see… you mean besides reliving the reality that soon I will be squeezing a giant doll-like person out of my vagina? Oh nothing."

"What? What do you mean?" asked Chandler.

Monica shook her head, "I don't know, just the reality of the birth I guess."

"Hey," he put his arm around her. "You'll be fine, we will. We're getting another baby."

Ending Credits

The following morning Joey sneaked out of his bedroom, where the blonde from last night was now sleeping and went into the kitchen, wanting some breakfast, when there was a knock at the door. He sighed and went to answer it, finding a very pretty but very pregnant woman there. "Hi," she said. "I came to bring your whisk back."

"Oh, thanks," said Joey, looking up from her belly and taking the whisk. "So, you're pregnant Dana."

"Yeah, I'm Dana, or pregnant Dana," she grinned jokingly. "What gave that away?"

Joey laughed, "Well, it's nice meeting you."

"And you," she said and left.

Joey shook his head as he shut the door, "Pregnant with a boyfriend… shame."


AN: What do you think? Review please. The first to review takes me to one hundred reviews!! Whoa! What you think of this though people??