by eggadshorace
» Fandom: Naruto
» Rating: M
» On Going(WIP)/One-off/Series: Series
» Classification(s): Humor, Romance, PWP
» Warnings: Language, Sexual Situations
» Pairing(s): Naruto/Sasuke

A/N and Shameless Self-Promo: READ ME! -Presenting "Wet", a two-part, drabblish kind of prequel to "The Badge". The title is the theme. Containsspoilers for that series, mostly because the setting is the Konohagakure police academy of Det. Uzumaki and P.I. Uchiha's springtime of youth… so says Gai-sensei. Also, the two stories are not written in the same style, nor do they have the same tone... this one's much lighter.










Sasuke's door flew open to hit the wall with a crash, and Sasuke's head shot up from his textbook, notes briefly sticking to his cheek before fluttering to the floor. "Huwazzat?"

"Yo! Bastard!" came a cheerful voice. Framed in the doorway was his roommate's closest friend, the smell of cheap booze and cheaper perfume emanating from him in almost visible waves. Supported by Kiba's arms hooked under his shoulders hung his utterly limp roommate, who slurred, "We here already?", apparently unable to lift his chin off his chest.

"What the…?" Sasuke began, turning to face them.

"Catch!" And the semi-conscious Naruto was tossed headfirst into him.

"The fuck!" He barely managed to stop Naruto from falling, and suddenly found himself being half-straddled within Dead-Drunk's face buried in his neck. Laughing, Kiba slammed the door as hard as he'd opened it, and could be heard singing and stumbling down the hall to his own room.

"Nnnnn, Kiba, you asswipe," moaned Naruto. Hands pushed weakly at him, and Naruto's struggles to extricate himself from Sasuke's lap overbalanced them and they both nearly kissed the floor. Swearing, Sasuke righted them.

"Jesus Christ, you stink. And you're… wet…." And now I'm wet. Please let it have rained, Sasuke thought desperately. This close, really closer than he should have wanted to be, ever, Naruto smelled like the floor of the bar at a strip club. His arms were around Sasuke's waist for balance, and their bodies were touching in all the right places. Sasuke was having trouble swallowing.

Naruto was wearing pink satin kitty ears.

"'M pretty sure that the last few pints went on instead of in," he mumbled tiredly. Sasuke felt his body heating as Naruto, apparently completely unperturbed by their positions, squirmed in Sasuke's lap, licking his lips and smearing his drawn-on whiskers and eyeliner on his hands as he rubbed at his eyes like a child. "I need a shower…"

"You've got ears on."

Naruto turned his head to look at Sasuke with sleepy, slitted eyes. "So've you, bastard."

"I mean the cat ears."

"Oh." Naruto yawned, and managed to push himself all the way off, stumbling and righting himself and stumbling again. "Someone stop the lift, I'd like to get off please," he laughed. "It was a fancy dress party," he added as he made his way to the bathroom. "Sakura gave me her headband, and said I was a-DOR-able. So? Am I?"

He braced his hands against the door, arched his back and shot a pout over his shoulder he probably thought made him look like a supermodel. It only made him look more like what he was: a drunk idiot with smeared panda-makeup and half the bar on his clothes.

And yet he still managed to flash-fry all higher functions of Sasuke's brain.

"No," he said in a bored tone as his mind shut down. "You look drunk. And stupid."

"Who's fault is that, bastard?" Naruto accused, turning to lean against the door with a scowl. "I managed to come home at a decent time, and you had your fucking tie on the knob again, so Kiba kidnapped me! What kind of nympho is your girlfriend, anyhow?"

Sasuke flushed a little. The truth was that he had no girlfriend, nymphomanic or otherwise. Naruto had been such a rube the first time they'd met, both freshmen at the officer academy, both roommates, and somehow, both the type who could immediately manage to get off on exactly the wrong foot with each other. Naruto had said, some weeks into their antagonistic relationship and after Sasuke had finally admitted to himself that he found him passably attractive, that he didn't mind if Sasuke brought home any girl and did the tie-on-the-doorknob thing. His redfaced explanation had gone something like, he wasn't a kid and knew what it meant and he'd go find something else to do. Sasuke detected the delicate touch of Kiba, whom he knew could tell Sasuke would rather have Naruto than all the girls at the academy. So Sasuke had laughed in his face. And Naruto had punched him. The day had ended in grudging respect, blood, and demerits all around.

That was how their relationship stood now: on Naruto's part, friendly, competitive antagonism, and on Sasuke's part, disinterested dislike as a thin veneer over a more… primal reaction—that he was pretty sure Naruto's best friend knew about. But which Naruto acted like he knew nothing about...

Except when he did things like pose and wiggle his ass like a lingerie model against the bathroom door.

Basically, Naruto drove him crazy in a painful variety ways--although lately he'd been taking some small revenge for his wounded male pride. He hung a tie on his door when he needed to study without the distraction of Dead-Last, which was every night. Naruto, a man who was incapable of being untrue to his word, had dutifully found something else to do. Every night that week—and every night for the three weeks before.

"More nympho than you could handle, idiot," he smirked, then sighed inwardly. Even Naruto's panda-glare was sexy. "Weren't you going to take a shower?"

Naruto flipped him the bird, turned the knob and, overbalancing, almost fell flat on his ass. "Bastard," he hissed, and shoved the door closed.

"Like your inadequacies are my fault," Sasuke called.

Even muffled by the wall, Naruto's answer sounded venomous.

Sasuke turned and gathered his notes for advanced tactical training. He wasn't done, but he needed sleep. From Naruto's bedside, the time (2:38am) glowed accusingly at him.

"Fuck me!" he groaned, and flopped on the bed. He had an eight o'clock class tomorrow. Stupid, stupid blond roommate…

In the bathroom, the shower started. Sasuke, halfway out of his (wet) sweatshirt and (soaked) pants, and into fresh ones, froze.

Very faintly, he could hear one drunken idiot beginning, off-pitch and tunelessly, "I'm, too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt! So sexy it hurts…"

With a much louder groan, he threw his wet clothes in a corner and grabbed a pillow to hold over his ears.

Stupid, stupid sexy blond roommate…




A/N: One more chapter! Lemon ho!