by eggadshorace
» Fandom: Naruto
» Rating: M
» On Going(WIP)/One-off/Series: Series
» Classification(s): Humor, Romance, PWP
» Warnings: Language, Sexual Situations
» Pairing(s): Naruto/Sasuke

A/N and Shameless Self-Promo: READ ME! -Presenting "Wet", a two-part, drabblish kind of prequel to "The Badge". The title is the theme. Contains spoilers for that series, mostly because the setting is the Konohagakure police academy of Det. Uzumaki and P.I. Uchiha's springtime of youth… so says Gai-sensei. Also, the two stories are not written in the same style, nor do they have the same tone... this one's much lighter.










(Later that same night…)



"Bastard! Oi, bastard!"

"Th'fuck?" Sasuke muttered to himself as he sat up, rubbing his eyes. Across the room, the clock shone 3:42am.

"I need a towel!"

"Long shower much, idiot?" Sasuke yelled back as he slid out of bed, groping in the dark for a towel. He tripped over something and banged his shin on another, swearing, before his hand found a bushel near Naruto's bed and pulled out wadded-up terrycloth. Naruto pounded again, and Sasuke shouted, "Just hold the fuck on!" as he felt his way to the door.

When he flung it open, water was all over the floor and Naruto was back behind the shower curtain. All Sasuke could see of him was one glaring eye and an outstretched arm. "Gimme."

"Gimme gimme never gets," Sasuke growled. "Come and get the fucking towel, or I'll put it in the toilet. I'm not getting my feet wet."

"Hell no, you gay bastard."

Mutely, Sasuke held it out over the open bowl.


Sasuke let it slip a few inches, and Naruto flung aside the curtain with a curse. He set a foot in a puddle he'd left and promptly slipped, catching himself and flushing darkly when Sasuke snorted. "Bastard."

The towel began to fall.

"Hey!" Naruto yelled and jumped forward.



Suddenly, the air that was already thick with steam seemed as impossible to breath as cotton. Sasuke, stinging back now against the door, turned his head to the side so fast he nearly strained muscles. He stared determinedly at the cabinet door of the sink, with hands planted firmly on the tile floor, and growled, "Get. Off."

Naruto straddled him, one hand on the floor next to his, the other braced on his chest. His head was bowed, and wet hair dripped onto Sasuke's skin as Naruto's breath shuddered out against his neck. There, where they touched, warm water soaked through his shirt, and lower, soaked through the cotton sweatpants.

The seconds passed. Naruto did not get off, only continued to breath on him, drip on him, and soon Sasuke's entire front was soaked with rapidly cooling water. He shivered.

Say, that cabinet had an really interesting grain. This close, it looked a bit like a face, with a bulgy nose. Professor Jiraya, maybe?

In his peripheral vision, he saw Naruto slowly lift his head, so close the tips of his wet hair trailed up Sasuke's skin, each like an individual caress. His breath was now in Sasuke's ear. The air that had been like cotton became like lead, and Sasuke stopped breathing altogether as arousal closed his throat.

"You know, bastard," Naruto began softly, conversationally as a scarlet flush spread over Sasuke's face. "Kiba and I had a bet on that you could maybe help me with." He shifted a little, and Sasuke twitched like a stung horse. "We want to know whether you really do have a girlfriend or not. I--Kiba, he says no. Do you want to know why?"

When Sasuke didn't respond, Naruto shifted again, barely-there pressure flooding Sasuke's entire body with a rush of heat. He gave a tiny, he hoped inaudible gasp and ground out, "Get off me, Naruto." Please.

"Kiba said," Naruto said as if he hadn't spoken, "That you definitely didn't. Know why?"

"Get off." I can't take this.

Naruto's hand slid off his chest to the floor, and he stood in one abrupt motion, stepping back. Sasuke scrambled to his feet and turned to wrench the door open, but before he could, Naruto braced his arms against it, caging Sasuke in. Their bodies were close enough for him to feel the heat Naruto's damp skin gave off, radiant against his back. He managed a wordless noise of frustration and choked out, "Idiot! I don't have time for this!"

"Make time," that low, sensual voice suggested, and Naruto placed a single soft, hot kiss on the junction of neck and shoulder.

A sound perilously close to a whine slipped unchecked from Sasuke's mouth. Naruto laughed, and hot, damp arms circled his waist to draw Sasuke back against his body, wetting his back as thoroughly as his front. He was soaked. He didn't care.

They were almost of a height, with those few crucial inches putting Naruto in a position to whisper, "Do you like me, Sa-su-ke?" in his ear, and at the same time rub himself into the valley created by Sasuke's slightly spread legs.

"A-ah!" His back arched from that teasing touch and he moaned out loud when Naruto thrust against him again, flesh against cloth.

"I said," and here Naruto paused to smooth his hands under the wet tank top and over Sasuke's quivering stomach while his lips dwelled on the spot just below his ear. "Do you like me, Sasuke-bastard?"

"…yes?" he answered breathlessly, eyes slipping closed in reaction.

"Hah! Fifty bucks in da whole!"

Sasuke was abruptly left blinking, and dripping, and in complete and utter confusion—alone.

Behind him, Naruto had trotted over to his piled clothes and now rummaged in a pocket for his cell, flipping it open and punching in a number. An unintelligible buzz came from the other end as Sasuke turned around, slowly, to see Uzumaki Naruto standing in the glorious nude, not unaroused but apparently uncaring as he yelled triumphantly into the receiver, "You owe me fifty bucks and ramen for a month, dickless! He does like me! I tackled him in the bathroom and he totally admitted it."

A flicker of red appeared in the dark iris of Sasuke's eye. Sasuke, coitus interruptus, was extremely easy to provoke.

"Yeah, he kind of moaned it."

This was not provocation.

"What do you mean, what's he doing? He's standing there. We're still in the bathroom."

It was poking an adder in the eye with a stick.

Naruto was saying something else, but Sasuke had stopped listening as he stalked, in the manner of a(n extremely horny) big cat, towards his oblivious blond victim.

"No, he's here. Let me ask him. Sasuke?"

Naruto looked up and eeped as a pissed-off Sasuke filled his entire field of vision. "Idiot," he growled, looming over him.

"Y-yes?" For the first time, the idiot seemed to comprehend his position, and he shot out a "Gottagobye" to the person, undoubtedly Kiba, on the other end. He held out his hands and began backing away, smiling nervously as Sasuke continued to advance.

"Ahaha, Sasuke. Was there something you wan—er. I mean—"

Sasuke pounced.

It was really quite easy to reduce Naruto to the same level of sheer, indecent arousal as he'd produced in Sasuke. They were in a puddle and water was soaking through the knees of his pants, but he couldn't bring himself to much care as he knelt between Naruto's legs, raking his nails up those thighs as he nipped and sucked his way up that heaving chest until he could claim that longed-for mouth with a grateful moan. Naruto bucked up beneath him, wiggling in a truly… appetizing way, little sounds of protest muffled by lips, tongue and occasionally, teeth.

Three seconds into what could have been the hottest kiss Sasuke had ever experienced, Naruto shoved at him with a broken, "Sto—!". Sasuke, almost too far gone to even hear him, might have acceded if the hand pushing him away hadn't then shyly slid into his hair and fisted there. In response, Sasuke deepened the kiss until a low groan welled in Naruto's throat.

The sound ran like an electric current down Sasuke's spine and he shuddered, releasing Naruto's mouth to pant into his neck. He had to bring himself down, had to regain some control—if he didn't, he was going to come in his pants, and that was hardly where he wanted this to end. He laid a chaste kiss on Naruto's pulsepoint, which somehow developed into a nibble; then a series of nibbles. God, but he tasted so good

Naruto whispered, the words coming soft and slurred between pants, "H-hey… hold up…"

He ignored him. Mmmm, Naruto overlayed by the taste of soap and water. Naruto's fist tightened in his hair as Sasuke used first his fingertips, then his mouth to explore the little hollow of Naruto's collarbone, his hardened nipples, the thin line etched by quivering muscles in his stomach. Addictive. Sasuke was going to have dreams about this taste.

"Sasuke! S-stop…"

Just a little further. Sasuke slid his hands down to cup and grip Naruto's ass, lips poised just under his belly button, and felt something solid poke him in the chest. Deliberately, he rolled his eyes up to Naruto's flushed, almost bewildered face, and smirked against his skin.

Naruto made a choking sound.

Sasuke slid his lips lower.


Sasuke, inches away from his goal, suddenly found himself flipped and pinned to the wet floor by a very red, very, very aroused Uzumaki Naruto. He blinked, blinked again, and tried to focus—but his mind was full of the kiss, and the body, and the undeniably hungry way Naruto's eyes followed his tongue as he licked his lips.

"This is not happening," the man above him breathed shakily. "No way. No way, Sasuke. I'm not sober yet, but—Ah! Stop doing that for a second, will you?"

Sasuke's fingers had unconsciously kneaded into the flesh he still gripped, and Naruto shivered wildly. "Don't wanna stop."

"Too fucking bad. I don't want to have sex with you."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

Naruto flushed even darker in embarrassment, lifting one of his hands from where they were braced on either side of Sasuke's head to make a short, chopping motion. "I don't. Really. I mean, I've never… hey! You gay bastard, where're you looking?"

"That should be obvious," Sasuke said dryly as the 'where' in question twitched under his scrutiny.

He'd never seen another human being resemble a tomato so much. A wet, sexy tomato with a huge… yeah. That was actually a really strange mental image. Sasuke snorted.

Above him, Naruto continued to rationalize. "Okay, so we got a little carried away, but we can still forget this ever happened. I mean, you don't even like me—"

At this, Sasuke braced a hand behind him to sit up, running the other soothingly up Naruto's side to the nape of his neck. There, it twined in his short golden hair, and held him still as Sasuke brought his mouth up to his ear and he tried to yank away.

"I like you," Sasuke purred. Naruto closed his eyes and trembled, a tiny cry breaking from his lips as Sasuke's hot breath sent visible chills down his neck. "I like you more than anyone else. You like me. I want you to like me more than anyone else. I want to be lovers… okay, Na-ru-to?"

And then a hand was pressing him back and Naruto was swearing as he slammed open one of the cabinets next to them.

"… what are you doing?"

Naruto, still the color of a Bloody Mary and very consciously not looking at him, muttered, "Gotta have lube, right? Guys don't… uh. Yeah. We need lube."

Something warm, not scorching like passion but just… warm, bloomed in Sasuke's gut. He smiled up at the blushing man who continued to very carefully not so much as glance in his direction, and said, "Yeah. Guys need lube."

While Naruto slammed and rattled around the items in the cabinet, cursing, Sasuke took the opportunity let his hands wander. Naruto slapped at him. "Busy here, Romeo. Let me—just—ah! Let me do this, okay? I can't concentrate with you…moving…"

Sasuke let his hands and head fall back with a thump, a little grin on his face. "Ri-ight." He waited, grin growing wider as Naruto searched with growing franticness through the accumulated bottles. "Although, I'm surprised you don't know where the lube is; I pegged you for a brazen—Gah! Naruto!"

Above him, Naruto was grinning triumphantly and somewhat sheepishly, having just squirted a huge dollop of the coldest lube known to mankind directly onto Sasuke's exposed stomach. Sasuke squirmed between Naruto's legs, as the other giggled helplessly.

"Think it's funny?" Sasuke growled. He scooped a hand through the mess. "Do you?" he repeated, tone dangerous.

Naruto wasn't looking at him or he might have seen it coming, but as it was his giggle turned into a gasp, then a long, low moan, as Sasuke's hand surrounded him and began to pump him. Measuringly. Eyes screwed shut and mouth open, his hips humped shamelessly into Sasuke's fist.

"Like that?" Naruto only nodded, a little fast, and Sasuke chuckled darkly. While Naruto remained lost in the sensation, Sasuke gathered a little more lubricant onto the fingers of his other hand and brought them to Naruto's entrance.

Naruto eyes flew open as his spine snapped straight, and he bellowed, "Whoa, whoa! Bad touch! Bad Sasuke! No touching there!"

Sasuke paused and gave an exasperated sigh. "How exactly do you imagine gay men fuck, Naruto?"

"It's… it's not that. It isn't!" he insisted at Sasuke's skeptical expression. "I know all about gay sex!" Sasuke scowled. "I mean, I've never had sex with another guy, but do I know that you sticking your fingers there means that you'll be sticking your dick there. I'm not the—the bottom!"

Sasuke arched a brow. "Don't you think a more experienced person is best? Otherwise you might hurt me with that, thing." He licked his lips, prompting Naruto to mutter, "Whore."

"Are you even aware, Mr. I Know All About Gay Sex, of what or where the prostate is?"

Naruto's glare was mutinous... or would have been if he wasn't panting, and flushed, and generally sexed up. So hot. "I'll figure it out."

Sasuke smirked. "Sure you will." Eyes on Naruto, he slowly began moving again, rimming him with his fingers while he rubbed a thumb over the head of his cock. Naruto shuddered like a palsied man. "Feel's good, doesn't it?" Sasuke asked him, smug. "You'll like it, I promise."

"Shut up and get naked."

Maybe it was the dig, or maybe it was Naruto's nature, but as soon as Sasuke's shirt and soggy sweatpants were off he bit his lip with a determined expression, scooped up some of the lube and shocked the hell out of Sasuke with two fingers rammed straight up his ass, as deep as possible.

As it happened, straight into his prostate.

Sasuke forgot what he was doing, forgot his own name, as he arched until his weight was resting only on his hips and shoulders and tried desperately to adjust and not come all over himself like a fourteen-year-old.

"Prostate?" It sounded like this time, Naruto was the one smirking.

"Lucky… shot…" Sasuke whimpered out, then blushed in humiliation at the squeak he made when Naruto began to move. "N-no, wait, I'm not ready! Fuck, fuck, fuck!"

Naruto whimpered something himself then, but Sasuke couldn't really hear him, couldn't really hear anything. He was loosing his mind, eyesight blotting out and senses coming undone with every thrust of that hand—with just two fingers! Then three, and Sasuke cried out like an animal dealt a death blow. God, he was going to die before Naruto ever got his cock into him. And it really was going to be Naruto fucking Sasuke, because Sasuke's suddenly limp hands had fallen away and his knees were being spread but he just didn't fucking care anymore, because it felt too good. He was going to break apart.

Somewhere close to his ear, someone whispered, "I win."

Sasuke sucked in a breath, annoyance battling with bliss in his liquefying forebrain. "Goddamn it, why does everythi—aaah—have to be a contest with y-you? Ohdon'tstopplease…"

"Don't worry," the demon, the fucking Anti-Christ breathed into his ear. "Feels good, doesn't it? You'll like it, I promise."

"Fuck!" Sasuke groaned out as Naruto's other slick hand stroked up and over him, starting a punishing rhythm that brought him so close so fast it made him pant out, "Wait—no—I want—I want to come with you. Please, Naruto!" Am I really having to beg him not to bring me too fast? thought Sasuke wildly, head thrashing from side to side against the cool tile. He'd known that if—when he ever got Naruto into bed it would be one of the best fucks of his life, but this was so good it almost hurt.

"So loud," Naruto moaned into his ear. "But God, so beautiful… then hold on to your horses, 'cause here I come!"

What an idiot, Sasuke thought blurrily as Naruto's fingers slipped out of him and off of his cock. "H-hold onto your horses? Who the f-fuck says that?"

"I do," Naruto ground out, and then he yanked Sasuke's knees up around his waist, bringing them flush again each other and wringing another cry from Sasuke's unwilling lips. "You'd better be ready," he said silkily. "I could come just watching you—I almost did come. So sexy, Sasuke… you are ready, aren't you?" There was a plaintive note in his voice, at odds with the breathy tone and heavy sensuality of his expression. "I'm, er, doing this right, aren't I?"

Sasuke gazed up at him; wet hair flattened to his forehead, blue eyes that almost glowed with arousal, angry, almost purple cock jutting from between his legs. Finding reserves of smartass somewhere, he grinned crookedly. "What if I say no?"

Naruto's eyes narrowed and an entirely feral look crossed his face. "Then I'd have to fuck you bloody, wouldn't I, Sasuke?"

Sasuke quivered, actually quivered, at those words. Naruto had his own grin. "Kinky Sasuke-bastard."

Sasuke swallowed. "I-I'm ready."

"Thought so."

Naruto positioned his head directly at Sasuke's entrance, then began adjusting himself; Sasuke, eyes wide and wholly unable to keep still, wriggled and twisted in protest of the series of innocent movements which somehow rubbed Naruto's cock over and over again against Sasuke's twitching entrance. "Hold still," Naruto ordered breathlessly as he slid his hands into position, wiggled a bit more to get the angle right, settled back… and then just sat there, just breathing hard and staring down at him with a kind of wonder.

Sasuke wanted to howl like a dog. One look at Naruto's face revealed his thought process, but how could he still be unsure? How could anyone who had reduced Sasuke to this crying, begging, mewling thing still have insecurities and reservations?

Finally, Naruto spoke, looking down at him with an earnest expression in direct contrast to his prodding, rock-hard erection. "I'll go slow, okay? I know if you do it too fast it can hurt—"

Sasuke reared up, wrapped both arms around Naruto's neck, and growled into his startled face, "Hurt. Me."

Naruto's eye's widened, and then he caught Sasuke's bottom lip and bit, hard. Sasuke moaned, then grunted in surprise as Naruto all but threw him back onto the floor. His eyes glittering, he smirked, "You asked for it."

The next few minutes were at once the most sexually gratifying and the most hellishly embarrassing moments of Sasuke's life to date. Naruto pushed into him with one long, slow slide, and before he was halfway in Sasuke was writhing like a worm on a hook. Luckily, Naruto seemed to have taken Sasuke's order to heart, and didn't stop moving or even appear to pay any attention to his sobs and cries, didn't stop until he was buried to the hilt and Sasuke was seeing stars. Comets. Fricking Jupiter.

The two of them shared a shudder then, and a short pause where Naruto captured his gaze for a second. Two.

"If you ask me one more time if you're doing it right I'm going to kill you," Sasuke snarled, hardly recognized the broken purr of his own voice.

Naruto stared, then gave him a tiny, dirty little smile. "Fine then."

The first thrust had Sasuke gasping, the second moaning, the third with no air to make a single sound. Naruto seemed immediately lost in the feel, the pure sensation, eyes closed and lips shaping inaudible words of praise and curses. And Sasuke had not been joking when he'd said that an inexperienced Naruto would hurt him; luckily enough, he was also not joking when he'd asked to be hurt. Those first few thrusts were gilded torture, tears pricking his eyes and gasps coming to his lips, but after them the steady, slow thrusts began to wear on his nerves and drive him crazy. It wasn't enough, he needed more, but when he snapped up his hips to jar the pace to a faster rate Naruto pinned him in place with a hungry, heavy-lidded grin. "Uh-uh," he said. "You wanted this, and I'm going to give it to you—my way."

"Too slow," Sasuke gritted out. "Faster. Need it. Need you."

"And you've got me. But it's fun to see you squirm like this, Sasuke-bastard."

Sasuke barely had the presence of mind to glare. "Fucker."

"Hmm. Now, where did that prostate of yours go? Was it here?" The hard thrust took Sasuke completely by surprise, and he arched up into it, fist hitting the cabinet. "Here?" Another hard, quick thrust, and a strangled moan burst from him as he twisted in Naruto's grip. "Or was it… here?"

If he'd thought fingertips were bliss, nothing could have prepared Sasuke for the utter nirvana of Naruto's cock hitting right there, then pulling away and doing it again, and again, and again. Sasuke raked his nails down Naruto's arms and began his own thrusts in tandem, something Naruto seemed to appreciate if that low, breathy groan was anything to go on. In defense Naruto caught his hands and intertwined their fingers as he thrust, picking up speed and force and finally, finally giving Sasuke what he needed. As Naruto's thrusts turned him inside-out and brought him to complete incoherency, Naruto seemed to begin to lose the fight himself, face twisting into the most beautiful, pained expression Sasuke had ever seen as his movements become more violent and erratic.

"God, God, Sasuke, so good," Naruto whimpered out against his hair. "I wanna hear you scream…"

There was no way something so intense could last long--any longer and Sasuke felt he could have been permanently damaged by the excruciating pleasure. As he felt himself tense, begin to shake, poised right on the edge of something so powerful it almost scared him, Naruto leaned down and kissed him. The changed angle, the tender slide of lips as a counterpoint to full-weighted thrusts, and Naruto's hand suddenly covering him in a rough, warm grip, caught him unprepared. He tried to say something, tried to speak, but the orgasm caught him and froze him high in his thrust up, just as Naruto plunged down, and it was too much, it was all too much. "Scream," Naruto growled in his ear. Helpless, Sasuke obeyed as Naruto pumped him, brought him shuddering and quaking and screaming on the wet bathroom floor, bowed back as his vision whited out and he lost control of everything. Before the echoes had faded, Naruto followed him, clutching him almost too tightly to breathe and muffling his own cry in a bite on Sasuke's shoulder.

Naruto continued to move lazily as they came down, and moving with him, Sasuke let his arms fall and tried to remember how to breath. After a few minutes, they were still.

Sasuke absently traced abstract patterns over Naruto's back, content to wait for him to speak. He had a sneaking suspicion, as his thoughts cleared and his breathing slowed, that the idiot was probably grinning for all he was worth as he crushed Sasuke into the cool tiles and snuggled into Sasuke's chest. Any minute now, he was going to say something stupid. He wouldn't be able to stop himself.

His idiocy did not disappoint.

Naruto sighed. "So that's gay sex."

Sasuke, out of sight, rolled his eyes. "That's gay sex with me. I, after all, am a sex god."

Naruto snorted tiredly. "Sure. 'Naruto, faster. Need it. Need you.'"

Sasuke felt his fading blush revive at bit. "Like I said, a lucky shot."

Naruto turned his head to give Sasuke an innocent stare. "But, Uchiha-san, that was after I stopped fingering you."

Sasuke turned his head to the side and mumbled, "What do you want me to say, idiot? You just happened to get lucky your first time trying it. It's… it's not normally like that." If it was I'd be dead. God, I can't even move yet. I can't even feel my toes!

"With Uzumaki Naruto, it sure as hell is." He gave a thumbs-up to the floor. "Now an equal opportunity lovah, baby!"




Naruto grinned wider into his collarbone.

"Equal opportunity?"

"Having done the gay sex bit and all, and being fairly sure I'd be willing to do it again."

Sasuke glared at the top of his head. "Sorry, but you are now a single opportunity 'lovah', idiot. At the risk of sounding like a total queen, that dick belongs to me now."

Naruto propped his chin up on Sasuke's chest, and those electric blue eyes were almost disconcertingly bright this close, weren't they? "'Zat so?"

"That's so."

They studied each other solemnly. Naruto shrugged. He began pulling out of Sasuke with one of most obscene sounds ever heard—then watched, wide-eyed, as the movement made Sasuke writhe in place, completely involuntarily, as it set off several whip-quick aftershocks.

"Warn a guy," Sasuke hissed out. "Ooo. Ouch."

Naruto appeared mesmerized. "What?" Sasuke snapped, then froze. With something akin to panic, he felt Naruto, impossibly, begin to harden inside of him.

"Oh no. Hell no. You horny idiot!"

"Can't help it if you're sexy, Sa-su-ke. Baby." He laughed at Sasuke's glare. "This isn't a one-time thing." His face grew serious, such a rare occurrence that Sasuke stared, startled. "We're not a one-time thing." He pulled Sasuke up to him and with his hands cupping the other's face, kissed him until the glare smoothed out and the only sounds coming from his throat were purrs of encouragement.

"I like you," Sasuke sighed as he pulled away.

"I like you, too," was Naruto's reply, as he rolled his hips up and stole Sasuke's breath completely.

It was enough for now.




A/N: Sasuke never made his eight o'clock class. He begins to miss a lot of class, as a matter of fact. And the two guys who live in the adjoining dormroom and share the bathroom with them weren't able to look them in the eye for weeks.

Sasuke and Naruto go on to graduate the Academy and become Konohagakure cops and each other's partners... and that is all I'll say. ;-)



A/N P.S. : So this morphed from a oneshot to a twoshot to a four-part thing, and then back to a two-shot. What can I say? I'm like that sometimes.